Boy mums- keeps pulling at penis

[Liverpoollass2]

My 4 year old keeps pulling at his penis area. He doesn't nee the toilet and and doesn't have a UTI. When i ask him why he is doing it he says his penis keeps sticking to the skin on his upper leg? We've tried putting talc on him and recently tried new style of pants but he keeps doing it. Im getting so frustrated at him i ended up shouting at him in his face how disgusting it was and he needed to stop. Anyone have their son do this? What helped?

Leave him alone. The skin of a willy can easy stick to other skin. Just leave him be.

I have to say that I think many of the responses on this thread have been unnecessarily judgemental and cruel. I think most parents have ended up shouting at a child when they have been told repeatedly not to do something, but then do it again. It doesn't mean the OP is a bad parent, or a bad person, just that she lost her temper.

I have something similar with my son. He's 7 now, but it has been going on for years so he was probably doing it at 4. I keep reminding him not to do it, but he still does it - mainly unconsciously I think. He has small holes in most of his trousers from where he keeps fiddling with his willy! I hate it, but have accepted there's nothing I can do but remind him not to do it and wait it out. Similarly to another poster above, he has SEN issues (ADHD, possibly ASD) and so it may be connected to that. And your DS is so young, it could just be a phase he grows out of in a month or two.

It's normal. Your reaction is not. Stop shouting at him. 🙁

He's four and touching his genitals is comforting for him. Put him in little boy pants, and shorts, or jeans, and get on with your day.

If your ds is happy and absorbed in something else, he'll forget to fiddle.

Question - who screams in a 4 year olds face and calls them disgusting, then shows absolutely no regret for it?

Answer - an absolute raging arsehole who needs to learn how to be a parent and not an absolute raging arsehole.

To the posters defending the op because their kids have similar issues - do you think screaming at them that they're disgusting would have helped? No, I'm guessing not.

Yes we have all lost our temper when our child repeatedly does what we keep telling them not to, but we are usually telling them off for doing something naughty or unsafe.

The problem here is that OP is not doing that as she’s not only screaming at him for doing something completely normal, she’s also telling him it’s disgusting.

Disgusting is a very severe and inappropriate word to use when talking to a child about touching themselves.

I think that’s why a lot of the replies have judgement attached.

OP my DS did this at the same age. He rarely does it now, don't worry. There's no need to shout at him, he's clearly uncomfortable and just rearranging himself.

I didnt tell him he was disgusting, i told him touching his penis in public is disgusting which i agree with, its something that needs to be nipped in the bud. This thread is mad, i cant believe other parents haven't shouted at their children once about something they shouldn't be doing? This is ridiculous saying he'll end up with a fetish around his penis by me telling him not to pull on his penis so much

My comment wasn't really aimed at you - I agreed with your post. It's more the people calling the OP disgusting. I agree, she shouldn't have shouted, but I also don't think it is necessary to shame someone who is asking for help. And none of us are perfect.

Of course screaming at him isn't helping. I read the OP's post as saying that she got so frustrated that she screamed at him - once. And now she's asking for help. Honestly, I don't understand how people can be so awful to other people on the internet. What a terrible thing to say to someone.

For what it's worth, my definition of a raging arsehole is someone who hurls abuse at strangers without considering how it might impact them.

Because it's not disgusting^^ for a 4 year old to play with their genitalia. It's inappropriate in public but but disgusting. Your language is very damning. Nip it in the bud makes it sound like you find everything about sex to be filthy. He will stop. You just keep gently reminding him. Not scream at him that it's disgusting. That poor child is going to end up with issues.

Op I think people forget we don’t know everything as parents. At 4 it’s pretty normal for boys to fiddle with their penis. As adults we know it’s not socially acceptable so you just need to distract and re enforce it’s something that’s private.

It takes awhile as for him it’s a nice thing and we all like doing nice things , so very frustrating from a mum point of view because you will be telling him 10 times a day. He’s not doing on purpose.

you won’t remember this period in a couple of years…. It’s all transitory and by then you will be posting he’s ignoring you and being a pain in other ways.

we all snap, just try to remember next time to go to for a break and then when calmer go back and tell him again he’s not to do it. Good luck!

Have you treated for worms? I once nannied a boy who did this and it turned out to be thread worms. Weird as they are in your bum but once they treated the worms he stopped.

Just keep reminding him you don't play with that area around other people.

And get the old type of pants not boxer shorts or y fronts. Then they can't stick to his legs. My boy actually asked me for pants not boxers because he didn't like his penis sticking to his leg.

I'll keep with my definition of a raging arsehole as being someone who screams in a 4 year olds face for doing something that's pretty normal for their age, then are shocked that people don't think it's great parenting.

And in one easy lesson today... How to give a child a complex.

Are you ok seriously?
You think telling a child grabbing his penis in public repeatedly is disgusting one time is giving a child a complex?

I have to say I have 3 children and have never screamed in their faces. I am happy to be considered judgemental of a parent who behaves that way because to me it is not an acceptable way to behave and goes beyond telling your child off. Would you accept an adult screaming in your face? I certainly wouldn’t so why is it ok to do it to a small child?

Instead of telling him he can't touch his penis, which is totally unreasonable and unrealistic, it might be better to tell him when it's okay and not okay.

It's okay for him to touch his penis when he's alone at home in his bedroom or bathroom. It's not okay for him to touch his penis in public or in front of other people. Pants areas are private.

Irs not disgusting. It's the wrong place. Pants areas are private. If he needs to readjust himself or touch himself he can do it in the bathroom or when gets home. He can't do it infront of people in public places.

Honestly, he's only 4, a lot of adults are busy cupping themselves, itching or walking around with their hands in their pants. He's still a baby cut him some slack.

Wow! His 4 !
You need help for shouting in his face AND its not disgusting !!!!!!

It is never acceptable to use the word “disgusting” when talking about a 4 year old touching themselves. By all means tell them it isn’t appropriate, but to say it’s disgusting really isn’t okay.

And screaming in the face of a 4 year old is never okay either.

I think you need to unpick why you have reacted so awfully to him doing something that is completely normal.

You seem to have gone from describing it as him touching himself to now “grabbing his penis repeatedly”

Regardless, your reaction and attitude really isn’t normal.

You should be apologising to your son, telling him that it’s perfectly normal for him to be touching himself but it’s something he should do in private - and you just repeat this each time he does it.

No screaming or humiliation is required.

You aren't coming across well OP. You need to realise that posters and I think YOU have made your child feel this is an issue and now it's become a bigger issue.

Does he attend school or nursery? He's 4 so still small have you tried ignoring it because your method isn't working. You have just got yourself frustrated.

Do not use talc !!!!!!

Its normal and you do realise that even at 4, it can feel nice to touch it

Just talk to him calmly and explain if he wants to play with his willy, he must go in the bedroom

But if it hurts, try other pants / boxer shorts
Taking them off when his at home etc

A lot of young boys like to hold their penis as it gives them comfort. Just keep gently removing his hand and distract home and don’t make a fuss

Laughing whole heartedly at "he'll grow our of it". Have you met any men? Surely this is their number one pastime!
And on a serious note, nothing a child does cannot and should not ever be described as "disgusting" in that sense. They are small children.

I didnt tell him he was disgusting, i told him touching his penis in public is disgusting which i agree with, its something that needs to be nipped in the bud. This thread is mad, i cant believe other parents haven't shouted at their children once about something they shouldn't be doing? This is ridiculous saying he'll end up with a fetish around his penis by me telling him not to pull on his penis so much

If you are not a troll, you are off the mark, massively, with this, in my opinion.
He is 4 years old.
You dont shout in his face, thats disgusting.
He is curious and uncomfortable with it touching his leg.
Most boys that age and older fiddle wity their genetalia. Obviously you teach them that we dont do that in public, but its not disgusting for a child to be curious about their bodies, and you dont want him growing up thinking that. When he is older, he will be "curious" again, and that's fine in privacy.

Please learn to take 5 and not shout in his face, especially about his body.