When did you put your baby forward facing in the car?

[ZEWatson]

My baby has always hated the car, from the drive home from the hospital until now at 15 months old. It's horrendous, she screams like someone is torturing her. She doesn't nap in the car and once she's decided she's upset there's no amount of singing/ snacks/ toys/ distraction that will stop her. All our family are over 3 hours away and we do a lot of groups/ activities so have no choice but to drive.

She's a good weight and height and her car seat says she can go from 15m. I know it's TECHNICALLY safer to stay rear for as long as possible, but surely if she's so upset and I'm constantly distracted/ trying to settle her whilst driving then it isn't actually safer because I feel I'm so much more likely to crash when she's irate. Anyone else have this dilemma?

For reference she is a typical 'allergy baby'. She's fussy, she's got reflux, she generally is a miserable sod 😆

I don’t think it does depend on the size of the seat - there are various ways of positioning the Axkid Mini but all of them accommodate a child up to age 7. It is a Scandinavian brand and normal there for the (famously tall) children to rear face until 6 or 7.

Also...all those people saying 'you wouldn't do XYZ to risk harming your child so why put her FF. The actual risk is going in the car in the first place, so the only way to remove that risk is to not take your child in the car. That obviously isn't something MOST people can/ are willing to do. Therefore we accept the risk of death and take them in the car and take reasonable precautions to reduce that risk of death. Which is to have a car seat, put them rear facing, no bulky clothing etc...reduce distractions caused by screaming ??🤷🏼‍♀️

@ZEWatson

Children can rear face as old as 7. They cross their legs.

If you want to try forward facing because you think an upset child is causing you to be at risk of crashing then try forward facing. You don't need to think up other excuses for it. Weigh up the risks and do what you think is best.

I wouldn't even consider forwarding facing until 2. It's to do with skeletal maturity, not size. You already know rear facing is safer, if you choose not to fine, but it's irresponsible to create a thread trying to convince other people that it doesn't matter.

Until she was about 3. I'd wished we could do it to 4 but the car is so small it was just getting harder and harder to get her in the seat

One of the only serious car incidents I've been involved in is when a lorry fell sideways onto a car and flattened it, killed everyone inside instantly. Truly, truly horrific. No car seat would have saved a child inside, the only way to stop it would be to not go in the car in the first place. Everything in life is a risk we have to weigh up

Do what you want. But it's a risk. Calculate your appetite for risk and way up pros and cons. No one else can justify it for you.

If you read through there is zero convincing and my child is still rear facing😊 the risk I'm discussing is if I'm more likely to crash if she's screaming, is that risk worse or better than the safety benefits of being rear facing.
It's a sensible discussion with zero convincing. Myself and everyone else on this thread has to use the information available (from studies not carried out by ourselves) and our own circumstances to make decisions about our child's safety

Sorry not RTFT but have you tried putting the car seat in the passenger side so that she can see you? You'd have to turn off the air bag on that side while she's in but she might just be distressed because she can't see you.

Have you tried someone sitting in the back with her?

I only know 1 person irl who has their kids rear facing at 4. All of mine went forward facing from 15 months. We have the maxi cosi axxis.

Hey, try to be kind with the way you word things on social media, your words might negatively impact someone in more vast ways than you can comprehend. I'm not thinking of excuses at all, I was just saying I don't know enough about car seats, which is why I used the word 'suppose'. Can't imagine someone would turn their child around just for the bants unless they thought they couldn't fit anymore. Also, again this is an assumption, but crossed legs against the seat behind sounds like a recipe for pelvic fractures (often causing catastrophic internal bleeding) in the event of a crash. Another risk to weigh up in the parental struggle of risk taking

My dc are older so no such thing as extended rear facing. My dc was in a high speed crash (60mph) aged 2 and was absolutely fine, the reasons were that her car seat was installed correctly, the belts was adjusted correctly and it had been only installed that morning (I know bad luck, had to buy another!)

The proper fitting is absolutely crucial, especially when there's molding in the car, small cars etc. I've seen extended rear facing seats not installed correctly through work because it didn't fit.

Ultimately there's lots of factors involved and 20 mph is very different to 70 mph crash wise

I haven't tried her in the front, but I could do that for sure. I'd again be worried that if she was upset I'd try to soothe her and then I'd crash (this is a me problem). I've been driving 10 years and never crashed but I have a deep fear of crashing and injuring pedestrians or passengers

Wow! So scary, glad everyone was OK. I am very particular with fitting her in her seat. And only have soft toys/ books etc. I'd be comfortable having her front facing driving around cardiff because like you said, we are snailing along at about 15mph and when we go on the motorway we're doing a long drive at night/ nap time which we'd always put her rear facing for

@ZEWatson

I am not trying to be unkind. I am saying you don't need to make excuses on a forum. Just weigh up the risks and make your own judgement call.

In a serious accident a rear facing child may well break their legs although I've never seen any evidence of this happening. Whereas crash test videos will show you exactly what happens to them when forward facing. I'd rather the broken legs.

Every year rear facing is a bonus. Every month even! Choose your cut off point weighed against the risks and do what you need to do.

I let my child sleep on their stomach earlier than some would. We all weigh up risk differently and try to keep our children as safe as we can.

Hi Op :)

We have the joie ispin seat and we stopped rear facing around 16 month mark I think as my son’s legs were squashed.

In complete honesty I don’t have any friends who still rear face beyond 18 months.

I also don’t get how care can fit a rear facing seat in and have enough from for a child’s legs.

That's ok. As you said, it's all risk/ benefit. These children keep us on our toes. If she wasn't such a dramatic, fussy thing I wouldn't even consider it. We get what we're given and have to try and make it work as best/ safely as we can

My daughter is very travel sick but we regularly travel on fast, single track roads in rural Scotland. She is still mostly rear facing a 3 years 8 months. She has another 8cm and 3.5kg before she maxes out her current seat so hope to get to 4.5 at least. We do occasionally forward face when in town on 20 mph quiet roads for example looking at Christmas lights.

She is under a hospital consultant for other health issues and he suggested trying a dose of the piritin she has for skin issues for travel sickness before longer journeys. Most children anti nausea meds for travel are antihistamines but cany be used until 3 or 5. It worked really well and might be worth a try for you to see if the cause of distress is mainly travel sickness. Forward facing often doesn't help with that. 2.5ml of liquid piritin a few minutes before you set off. I think not recommended for under 12 months over the counter? Our daughter had on prescription from 4 months from hospital.

Thanks for replying. A previous poster said about having their legs crossed once they are too tall to dangle them.
I don't know many people who have them rear facing beyond 2y. The ones who are still RF at 3/4 are very chill children who will just merrily sit in the car and chat/ sleep. Not screamers, the screamers of this world are a handful but I'm sure (hopefully) it's a sign of a strong, independent woman to come. We'll see.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/gjNdUFtFYx3QgZbW/

Shows an older child in a rear facing seats.
We moved to a new rear facing seat at 6 months because of scream and it was like a magic seat still using it now. Axkid one and axkid minkid.

You shouldn't weigh up the additional risk of internal injuries from pelvic fractures due crossed legs in a rear facing seat - because it doesn't exist! It is a fact that RF is safer in every type of crash. Not only for neck injuries but all types of injury including legs and abdomen. This has been proven. There is such a lot of evidence and not only direct evidence but simply applying the principles of physics will draw you to the same conclusion.

See https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0386111214000260

https://8stars.com/gb/module/smartblog/details?id_post=10&module=smartblog

You may genuinely and legitimately decide that on balance that the risk of your daughter's screaming to your concentration outweighs the safety benefits of a RF seat. I think the sensible thing would be to approach ways your daughter might be more comfortable whilst still RF, and if those don't work, make your decision.

But there is not amount of discussion or weighing up here that will prove that FF Vs RF doesn't really matter, or that FF vs RF are in some way equivalent / dangerous in different ways - that just isn't true and is potentially going to misinform others. Realistically, all passengers including adults would fare better if rear facing and it's only the practicality of this (given the driver has obvious benefits from facing forward!) and traditional design of vehicles that prevents this.

Crashing your car because you're distracted by a screaming child is a risk too. It's up to the OP to decide which is the greater risk.

She rear faced until she was 4.5, in a joie 360

We went for the screen option for DS1 from about 10 or 11 months. He was also a miserable baby and screamed none stop in the car seat. Cured the screaming from the first journey. To me, a bit of screen time is far safer than forward facing at a young age (he was rear faced until just over 3). He didn’t have any other screens, including TV, until over 2. We mostly did 20-30 min drives a few times per week. We weaned him off the screen in the car by 2.

We’re still RF at 3 years old and plan to for at least another year or so. Have a look at Axkid seat or the BeSafe stretch.