I have 2 DD’s. One is 20, one is 6. Both have absent fathers, so have been brought up without their father’s influence.
The eldest one was brought up going to breakfast club and after school club from being 4, and went to every holiday club going, which I felt immensely guilty about. We are incredibly close and I am immensely proud of how well she has done. She once told border control in Calais that I wasn’t her mum (we have different surnames), but the second they tried to get me out of the car she was hysterical and it was soon smoothed over!
My 6 year old is a completely different kettle of fish. She would sell me for a sixpence. She actively loathes me and takes every opportunity she can to ignore, disrespect and overrule me. She hits, kicks and bites daily. She has told her teacher that I don’t feed her, that I lock her in the car to punish her (I honestly have never done this!) and that I “sell her toys away”. I work from home and always drop her off at school, pick her up from school and spend all holidays with her. I practice gentle parenting, play with her every day for hours, and spent 6 years going through infertility treatment before conceiving naturally, and she was (and still very much is) a very wanted child. She despises me. What have I done so wrong this time round? If we have play dates she is really mean to her friends-she shouts at them and tells them that they aren’t allowed to.touch anything she owns. She isn’t allowed to touch the hamster as she hurts him every time she gets him out, despite being watched like a hawk and constantly reminded to be gentle, and is the same with friends’ dogs and cats. I’m worried that I have created a monster! When do children develop kindness and empathy? Have I missed the boat? I’m terrified!