How do you split finances? Returning from maternity leave

[Honeybeebuzz]

Ive just returned to work after being off on leave for a year. During the year off i still paid my half of the mortgage and some of the bills but my DH did pay some of the bills on his own (after schools bill, internet etc). We both paid into the joint account which covers weekly food shop and other household expenses.
Im now back to work but im back part-time so my earnings are about 30% less than my partners.

He has decided that we should now pay 50:50 for all bills (mortgage, gas, internet, daycare etc) and then he will put money into the joint account to cover weekly shops and other day to day expenses. This will leave me with about £100 a week left for myself. I don't know if i feel comfortable with this.
I feel we should both put in a percentage of our earnings into an account to cover all bills and expenses and then any extra can carry over to the next month. How do other parents navigate finances when one earns more or you go part time?

Everything goes into a joint account then we have an equal amount each after all bills etc paid into our own accounts as personal spending money.

Having a joint account for joint household expenses is much fairer, and also means if he has an accident and is in hospital you can still access money.

joint account should be funded by you both paying your income in, and then each have a personal amount transferred to your own account.
we pay for my small car and his big car out of the joint account

This ⬆️

Wish in circumstances like Mat leave, the government would automatically take a chunk of the husband's pay to put into the wife's account!

We have a joint account where all monies go. Then all bills come from that, we discuss and agree big purchases and each have equal individual spends each month.

We put all our money in one pot and there's never been a problem. Nobody should feel 'richer' than the other when you're a family.

You need to think about the impact on your pension too. Are you keeping your contributions the same?

We each put 2000 in a joint each month. My partner earns 2-3 times what I do. Our remaining money is our own.

I don't see how I should have claim to my partner's success.

I wonder, if he wanted to stay at home looking after the baby, would your answer be the same?

£100 a week for personal spending is a lot, your finances seem fine the way he is suggesting.

@C1N1C of course it would be, because there is a huge value provided from primary carers. If she was the one wanting to pay only half the bills whilst the dad was the primary carer I'd tell her to stop being so greedy and financially controlling!

I guess it depends on your perspective

When I got married I said "for richer for poorer" and I meant it

At times my DH has been the higher earner, I now earn double what he does. We have always jointly shared what we have.

As far as I am concerned, being married gives each other the claim on the others success

Erm money has always gone in one account, bill obey is out straight into another for the direct debits and what's left either can spend or not as they wish. No issues

We don't split our finances we share them.

A family pools its resources together.

We put all income into a joint account and all bills, savings etc come out of that. What's left we share.

Sometimes he's earned more, sometimes me. It doesn't matter.

Dh earns about 4x me, he puts in the majority of our joint bills and I put in a small amount, we then both add to fun savings pots and have similar disposable and for personal bills
When DH does overtime that either goes into fun money or regular savings

I had 2 back to back maternity leaves and DH just sends me a chunk of money each month and then more as and when we have spare while he pays 100% of the bills

One pool of money. Same amount of spending money.

It was for us. He took shared parental leave both times and reduced his hours, and took a career hit in a quite challenging industry for family-friendly/flexible working in part to support me and partly because he wanted to do his share of parenting.

Of course I provided extra financial support, and I still do as even though we both work FT, I make significantly more. We're a team.

This is us too.

I earn more because I've progressed and worked for it, DH is free to do the same but is happy at his current level right now which means earning less.

Our finances are separate. It works well for us.

Everything goes in the same pot, everything is equally owned, bar items that have been received as gifts.

When ever we have had one person with a reduced income the other party has up their contributions and we had cut back our outgoings where possible so that the other person isn't baring all the brunt.

When I was only working 8h a week whilst writing up my PhD thesis I paid 25% of the outgoings and my partner 75%

During maternity leave what paid into the joint account a proportional amount to my salary so when my take home pay was half my normal salary I paid half the normal amount and my partner increased his contribution so that it covered the essentials and the buffer we built up in the joint account during pregnancy covered the nice to haves

I'm back at work now of 80% hours. A big chunk of my pay is bonus paid once a year. This isn't guaranteed and the amount varies. If I get a very good bonus I get the same as my partner even on 80% if I get a pretty good bonus I get a bit below my partner. So we split the bills 55:45 and if I do get a very good bonus I make one off payment equal to the amount less I would have paid that year. This gives us both a similar amount of savings, it's not exactly equal but for us it feels fair. Everything comes out of our joint account except presents for one anothers families, clothes for each other but my daughters clothes come from the joint account and if we eat out socially on our own for example with work colleagues.

We 50/50 rent and utilities which is £2350 approx in total so he transfers me £1,200 with a bit left over as we still have our own bank accounts and our wages go into our own accounts - don't see a point in joint so we will always do it this way

Then he pays food shop, petrol for his and my car, he has a few extra utilities like life insurance and private healthcare

He earns £50k a year, I earn £17,000 (im part time)

I have around £450 a month to myself and he has about the same give or take but if we go out for meals and any extras like birthdays or things we need, he pays

He's always been very generous - he's just old fashioned and would rather pay for everything if I let him but I like contributing and I like working part time
I have a 12 yr old and 19 month old

Joint account. Baffles me that it's not what everyone with children does. You're a team, surely? If someone does less hours then they tend to do more childcare or housework.

If you both work ft and one earns more than the other then both those jobs will be demanding in their own way.

You're a family. Boggles my mind.

100% this

Because different things work for different people.

I would never agree to putting my money into a joint account.

@Honeybeebuzz What is your worry?

From your follow-up messages it seems like maybe you're more conscious that you'd be spending 'his' money from the joint than that you're going to be left with less, is that right?

Would it work out massively differently amount-wise if you were to do the % split that you'd prefer?