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Parenting

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Original poster

how much do you play with your toddlers?

67 replies

nappyaddict · 20/03/2008 18:23

i hardly ever play with my ds. he's 20 months and basically plays on his own all day. i just find it so incredibly boring!! i prefer to take him out to soft play, swimming, the park, to the woods etc but must admit i rarely do this unless i am going with another mum and if we do go by ourselves going to the park/woods takes an hour tops so hardly entertains him for long. i do make cakes with him and paint but again not very often and again we'll probably only do that for half an hour.

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bubblagirl · 20/03/2008 18:37

i dont really play with my ds that much and found by doing a timetable for the morning we enjoyed our activities

i do find it boring if im not well as cant be bothered but actually really enjoy it we do play doh play with his trains and we read stories

i do let him play alone so i can get me time but really do enjoy playing with him he loves mummy time just dont do enough of it really

callmeovercautious · 20/03/2008 18:43

DD is 18m and will play alone for a little while but then wants me to do things with her. We read loads of books and draw, blow bubbles etc. It is boring at times but also it is rewarding. I work PT so we only get 2 days a week alone while DP is at work. Perhaps that helps a bit!

LadyOfWaffle · 20/03/2008 18:51

Hard to say really... maybe bursts of 10-60 mins throughout the day. It's hard as DS will only want to build/paint/read etc. for about 5 minutes then he is off. Sometimes he shoves a book in my hand so I just follow his lead. Majority of the day I guess he is playing by himself, which makes me think it's time for nursery - there is only so many activities I can offer him.

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drivinmecrazy · 20/03/2008 18:56

Agree totally with nappy. Sooo boring. Made a real effort with DD1, but been there done that. Do feel guilty but she gets plenty of stimulation from nursery, tumble tots, older sister etc. Just feel so busy all the time, and to play with her all morning just seems a waste when there is so much other stuff to do. We do puzzles, train track and reading but no arts and crafts, does enough of that at nursery. Must make me a terrible mother.

sophiewd · 20/03/2008 19:12

DD goes to nursery but when at home I take her swimmming or walk the dog and then she helps cleans our guest rooms, or entertains herself in which ever room I am in, or wanders through the house, I do chat to her alot.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 20/03/2008 19:27

that's what makes me feel even worse. i'm not even too busy to play with him - i just hate it! most of the day i'm bored myself cos i can't think of anything to do and just end up aimlessly browsing the net and chatting on msn.

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StripeyMama · 20/03/2008 19:42

I was (am!) the same. DD is left to her own devices most of the time - I can do reading stories (in moderation), walks to the park, borrowing other kids to entertain her - but no fecking way can i bear sitting on the floor being a horsey or whatever.

I actually think its rather good for them to learn to entertain themselves - there's nothing more annoying than being around the dc of 'dedicated' mothers, they expect attention all the time and you cant have a coffee and a chat without being interrupted twenty thousand times.

[bad selfish mum who likes peace and quiet emoticon]

Its called Benign Neglect!!

DD is happy though, and has always done well at nursery - in fact the staff have often commented on how good she is at sharing, communicating, etc etc. So it can't be as bad as I sometimes feel, in those guilt-ridden 3am moments.

snooks · 20/03/2008 19:43

I find it so boring too. With ds1 (now 3.6) I think I made more of an effort but we lived somewhere until he was 2.6 where there was some sort of organised play (m&t etc) every day so it was easier IYSWIM. Now he goes to several preschool sessions per week instead so at least gets stimulation there.

With ds2 (22 mths) I feel soooo guilty because I find playing with him really boring. I have short bursts of enthusiasm and we build massive train tracks, set up the farm, bake cakes, cutting & sticking etc, but these activities take maybe half an hour tops and then if they are both occupied I tend to slope off....

I have visions that everyone else is playing with their dc 7am-7pm. I tell myself that it's good for them to play by themselves but not sure how much....?

WowOoo · 20/03/2008 19:47

Think I play with my 2 yr old alot. kind of set things up and then leave him to it, When I get on with things he just follows me so he has to help wiht everything - dishes, laundry, digging, wiping and dusting. I hope to have him well trained! HAve to read to him lots and build stuff and play with trains. tis soo dull after the 5th time.

WowOoo · 20/03/2008 19:48

Am really hoping that he will learn to play more by himself soon. DD was very good at this...

Thefearlessfreak · 20/03/2008 19:48

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FairyMum · 20/03/2008 19:51

Play with mine a lot. I am a wohm so probably about 1 hour playtime on the floor when we get home, but at the weekend its more or less all the time. I think playing with your children is one of the most valuable things you can do because you are entering their world for a while with them which I think is great. My parents played lots with me and its my fondest memory. Tbh I am really suprised you all think its so boring.

Rhymenocerous · 20/03/2008 19:53

You will find you will play with him more when he begons to speak more. Just as long as he is getting the mental stimulaiton, going out and experiencing the world is fine id say.

I play wioth Ds a lot more now he's three and a half. we have a right joke on together

princessmel · 20/03/2008 19:57

We see a lot of friends and go to groups and swimming etc in the week. My kids and i like to do things.

When I'm in, I do my jobs(dishwasher, washing tidying etc) while she potters about, watch tv with her, read stories.
I play games like 'pop up puff', 'elefun', dora pairs,a fishing game, 'hungry hippos', drawing, dressing her babies, dancing to the radio etc. I'd rather do that than be a horsey etc.
I build train tracks for ds and build towers with them etc

Not for hours and hours though.

Here and there through out the day.

Thefearlessfreak · 20/03/2008 19:57

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rookiemater · 20/03/2008 19:58

Oh gosh this thread has made me feel so much better. I work 4 days a week so I am reasonable at spending time with DS, however am much better at going out with him than I am spending concentrated time with him in the house. He seems to be happy provided I am in the same room, even if I am reading a magazine or making tea, however not keen on me mumsnetting and insists on the CBeebies website instead.

Fairymum I'm surprised you are surprised, there is only so much pushing toy cars down the ramp that one Mum can do.

llareggub · 20/03/2008 20:05

I don't really play with him as such. I work full-time and he is cared for my PIL for half the time and a childminder the other half. My PIL don't stop playing with him and with the childminder he plays with another little boy who is a little older.

When he is with me he plays by himself and I think he enjoys being left in peace! However we do chores together. For example he will help me empty the washing machine and dishwasher. It takes ages obviously but he loves it. We usually go for a walk, stopping to look at whatever takes his fancy. At the moment he loves garden gates. I usually let him lead the way and see where we end up, and it isn't always the swings! He also likes putting pegs in the basket so I often thrown them on the garden for him to gather.

What I don't do is play cars or the like with him. He seems more than content doing that by himself. I actually think it is important for him to learn to entertain himself and I certainly encourage him to read a book on his own.

He is 17 months old and I think he is good company. Sometimes it does get boring, but when I feel bored I usually give him a big tickle and as his giggling is infectious the boredom passes.

llareggub · 20/03/2008 20:06

Actually, the one thing I forgot to mention is that I talk to him as I go about my day. So he might be in the kitchen playing with his cars while I cook or something and we chat generally about what he is doing.

Original poster

nappyaddict · 20/03/2008 20:07

i am fine at playing with him and being in the same room etc if i have a friend round cos then we can chat and play with him at the same time but when it's just me and him i find myself thinking when he's not looking i'll sneak off. i think you're right about the talking thing. i have friends with children of the same age and also older and i love playing with them cos i can actually interact with them.

OP posts:

tiredAli · 20/03/2008 20:08

My ds is about same age. I work part time so only have 2 full days with him, but I have to admit that if I have nothing planned then I get a bit jumpy. I find the idea of playing with him all day a bit overwhelming and I think he gets bored too. I do similar - parks and walks and visit grandparents a lot. Having said that, weather crap today and have been in all afternoon and had lots of fun playing with a cardboard tube and singing songs!

Original poster

nappyaddict · 20/03/2008 20:13

good link!!

bit at "Other tricks that work are combining drinking with childcare" though!!

OP posts:

fizzbuzz · 20/03/2008 20:50

Am so of all these threads.

Dd 20mo will only play on her own for about 5 minutes. She always wants someone to play with her. And as for MN. She shouts No and tries to shut the laptop

chickytwotimes · 20/03/2008 20:52

fizzbuzz, my ds is the same. He's 19 mths btw. I only mn when he's sleeping!

LedodgyCheapEasterEggsAreASin · 20/03/2008 21:02

I'm the same I'll take him out for a walk etc but in the house apart from a few singing games or reading a book or maybe building blocks with him although he always knocks down my creations. I generally leave him to it although I will generally be in the same room to chat etc. If he is playing with play dough or paint I sit at the same table and praise him for his efforts but that's about it. I've never been one of these mums who do organised activities everyday either(you know the ones who do baby massage every thursday mum and toddler every Monday etc so the whole week is filled). When his sister comes in from school they both fight play together alot. My youngest is 11 weeks so this makes it even harder to spend time with them. On weekends we do go for days out to the park or museums etc as a family though. I do think there's alot to be said for encouraging play on their own dd always did and her imagination is fab.

ceebee74 · 20/03/2008 21:09

Fizzbuzz/Chicky - my DS (20 months) is exactly the same aswell. I cannot go on the computer without him insisting we go on the Thomas or Bob website which means if I want to MN/check e-mails etc, I have to sneak away from him when he is not looking and shut the door. Unfortunately he can open all the doors in the house now apart from the office door but I suspect that won't be long so my MN days will be over

I feel the same as the OP - I am starting to find being at home quite boring as I really try not to have the tv on all day but what else do I do when I am sat there?? Twiddle my thumbs?

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