how much do you play with your toddlers?

[nappyaddict]

i hardly ever play with my ds. he's 20 months and basically plays on his own all day. i just find it so incredibly boring!! i prefer to take him out to soft play, swimming, the park, to the woods etc but must admit i rarely do this unless i am going with another mum and if we do go by ourselves going to the park/woods takes an hour tops so hardly entertains him for long. i do make cakes with him and paint but again not very often and again we'll probably only do that for half an hour.

I personally think it is worth spending a little time every day -without distractions- focusing on what your ds wants to do as this will gradually develop into more interesting play as he gets older. Does not have to be excessive though.

(I have also found that any day spent at home with the PC buzzing in the background is very dreary and not actually terribly stimulating - better to do things in blocks of time I think)

Getting out most days really helps.

Apart from about an hour a day when I am doing jobs then the rest of the time I am playing with him and always have. He is nearly 3.

what sprogger said in her 1st para. me too

ceebee- i know what you mean? there's nothing good to watch during the day so never want to watch tv whilst ds is playing but i can't use my laptop whilst in the same room cos he just tries to press all the keys. it usually ends up with him in his playroom playing and me in the study which is opposite. if i was at least in the same room as him whilst he played i wouldn't feel so bad.

I figured out that if I was to stay at home (I have two DSs) I was going to make the most out of it. So we play often, many hours a day. We have activities in the morning (playgroups, intro to music, story telling, and if there's nothing scheduled we go to the library) and in the aternoon we watch a bit of telly while I cook/clean and play (finger painting, cutting with the oldest, glitter, read, play ball, playdoh, baking cakes and biscuits, do 'gardening'...)

Yesterday I laughed so much that my sides were hurting. I wanted to play a 'practical joke' on daddy and I covered both of them with colorful spots with markers and pretended they had chickenpox. We laughed so much!

My house is a constent mess, but we don't care!

It's got a lot easier (without wanting to sound like Xenia) since I have been back at work full time. I love my mummy time. Certainly more than I used to. I think if you are unhappy, you need to do something about it. (That's NOT saying everyone should go back to work) Certainly when I was a SAHM we used to get out every day, even in winter, even in the rain. Saved my sanity!

Personally find radio 4 is the answer. I have it on in the background so can pretend to be a monster/play with plasticine all the while not getting bored as brain is getting some sort of stimulation from womens hour or something.

I must admit I don't play with my 19 mth old that much. He is quite good at amusing himself which I think is important. He does get stimulation from other children and dp does quite alot of 'physical' play with him which he enjoys. I read him books at bedtime and take him out. I have a friend who doesn't do any housework all day as she spends alot of time sitting down playing wit her toddler. I admit that I keep the house quite up together but I can't live in a tip. I think it's good for them to see you doing things round the house and for them to help a bit as they get older. I don't think they should expect mummy to enetertain them all day.

We do lots of things together, including playing. Sometimes we are side by side, each doing our own thing, and sometimes we do things together. Very little structured outside activity - she goes to pre-school, but no groups, no swimming.

DD has only started playing on her own in the last few months (she's 2.8) - before that she would go about 5 mins tops.

I do get very restless and bored playing with her sometimes and we're nowonly home 2 days/week! I would go stark raving bonkers at home 5 days/week. And we have always gone out in the afternoons - usually to meet other moms and toddlers. We can have a nice day just the 2 of us - as long as we go out somewhere for at least 2-3 hours (even if it's just a walk around the mall and a cup of tea).

I've also accepted that there are certain kinds of play I just hate - I hate play doh and parks unless they're somewhere pretty (not our local one then). I can do books, puzzles, fantasy games, drawing and sticking for hours at a time but preferably only one hour or so at a time. Feel guilty about being bored - but I'm not 2 anymore!

Wish I could have radio 4 on but I gave up as I just can't hear it over the chatter.

Acinonyx - agree entirely on the importance of the quality of the environment in which you do an activity with your child.

Our nearest park/playground (1 minute from our front door) is vile and I never go there. I get around quite a bit as I am quite prepared to travel to go to lovely parks, shops etc and really enjoy myself with my daughter. With only one little one, that's easy - much harder with two or more.

Anna - I really don't know how we would manage without the car (dh cycles) and money for petrol. None of the things we do or people we visit would be accessible otherwise. It does mean we can go to some nice places - e.g. there's a farm we go to regularly from spring onwards and lots of wildlife places.

And I don't know what I would do with one . I hop on and off buses all day - hauling a buggy/scooter/toddler up from an underground car park is too much hard work. Plus I love the fact that on the bus we can chat and point out all the Paris landmarks (which we whizz past in the bus lane - no traffic jams) - which we can't when she is in the car seat in the back .

I agree that the key for me is getting out every morning. We go to a music group and various toddler groups. I also work part-time which helps me to appreciate the time I do have with DD's.

In the afternoon I tend to do housework which they help me with or play by themselves. I also spend periods reading to them which I really enjoy, and sitting having a cup of tea with them whilst they do playdoh and drawing at the kitchen table.

I'll also often invite friends and their kids around. We're still interacting with our little ones, but get some adult company as well.

If the weathers okay, we spend ages walking outside which keeps me sane as I'm outside and we all enjoy the fresh air.

Am working today and DH has the girls and think it will be a bit of a struggle as the weather is appalling, everywhere will be packed and it'll be a long day.

I think its easier as they get older. My girls directed me the whole day yesterday as to what they wanted to do - which is great to have that interaction!

I also let them watch tv for up to an hour at lunchtime, which they look forward to as they are tired by then and recharge. And I enjoy as I get to sit and check e-mails, have a coffee in peace etc.

I agree it can be tedious, but that doesn't mean you don't love your children and enjoy their company. I think it's just the sheer repetition, it is harder to get out and about with kids and doing the same activities every day that they love makes them happy but isn't hugely exciting for the adult all the time.

Ah yes - if I were in London I wouldn't be using the car either. But we are in a market town in the country with what must be one of the world's worst bus services. I did start out trying to use it but soon gave up. I do think it must be hard on mums in places like this that can't drive.

Oh yes, easy access to transport is a complete must for SAHMs. Being stuck at home or within a few hundred metres of it because of double buggies, toddlers etc must be a nightmare...

Have read the first few posts but not all of them.

My DD is 22 months old and has always been really good at amusing herself and playing on her own. I don't feel guilty, she is a very happy child. I have a friend whose sister (a teacher) spent hours all day everyday playing with her kids, and really filling the day to keep them amused. Now as older kids (about 8, 10, 14??) they actually find it very hard to amuse themselves and need constant attention, which would drive me mad!! I think it's good if lo's are indep in play, as long as you interact with them some of the time, and don't just ignore them. My DD talks loads, and is a lot less boring since doing so. We are expecting no 2 now and me and DH are bit worried that we both find smaller babies so boring now!!!!

We are very fortunate with the set up of our house, which was obviously deliberate, but we have a large kitchen-diner which is then joined onto the playroom, so I can be in the kitchen all day, on the laptop (in the corner of kitchen but near playroom end) and see and chat to DD the whole time. I'm sure that cos she has been able to be indep but with me keeping an eye on her from an early age, that's helped.

I'm sure lots of people would be envious of your situation if your DS is content to play alone.

I liked the idea of "benign neglect"! I could relate to that! With dd1 I spent lots of time entertaining her and playing with her. With the best will in the world, I haven't had quite the same time for dd2 and even less for ds! But I am amazed at how contented dd2 is, compared to dd1. She has learned loads without me trying to teach her, and I adore listening to her "using her imagination" to pretend she is a teacher/ doctor etc- so cute!!

We go out with our dogs every day, and talk about anything and everything. We visit the tree where the hobbits live, and listen out for fairies, follow footprints and tracks, look at the plants and animals along the way. Sometimes we sing too! But in the house, I don't spend every minute with them- they need freedom to develop their own games and imagination. I remember going to my gran's 2 days a week while my mum worked and she didn't spend every minute with me. But I loved being there- she had a back porch where I played "houses" for hours on end, alone. I sometimes get concerned with dd1 that, because she did spend a lot of time playing with me as a child, she wants to be an adult, and join in with the adults rather than play with the kids when we meet up with friends. I really don't feel comfortable with kids being too precocious- I'd rather they were kids! She is getting better, thankfully. I want her to relate to kids her own age, but she insists that I am her "best friend" and she doesn't have any other friends! Happily, her nursery tell me that is rubbish, but she obviously feels the need to make me feel like no 1, despite the fact I encourage her to have friends!!

I think it is a tricky balance. I'm happy to do some of the creative arty stuff (just cos I enjoy it!) when it suits me! And I love reading the stories etc at night. But I think it's fab to hear them playing together, using their own rules!! I like to listen and watch out of sight!

Tricky balance. We spend alot of time either doing jobs around the house (loading dishwasher, vacuuming, hanging up clothes etc), or being creative (painting, baking, singing etc).

I play with my daughter more now she is a little older. Around 20 months she'd be quite happy entertaining herself.
Now she 2yrs five months, I pick her up from the childminders, we go home and then she will help me cook.
On a Monday we always make spg bol, I chop the onion and do the garlic while she chops the mushroom (with a very blunt knife!) and helps with the pepper.
Once a week or so we make cakes together, either a packet one or a receipe.
I set her up for painting and drawing, so she will sit at her table doing that whilst I study (doing an accounting qualification and its getting very hard going at the min!) but she thinks I am drawing.
She does like to sit an watch a cartoon; she quite like Futurama!
DH gets home around half six/seven and he takes her in the bath for half an hour where she has some water games, a Dora The Explorer floating island and the such.

TBH it leaves me feeling exhausted, but I work from 8 til 4, and she isnt asleep until 8 so I do get shattered, especially as from 8 onwards I'm studying again.

i do work but i work from 5pm and ds goes to bed at 6pm so i only really miss giving him his dinner and going to bed. so although i work i am still very much with him all day every day (except for saturday when i work 12-5). i must admit on saturday i get back from work and can't wait to play with him before he goes to bed.

does anyone play with their toddler for less than an hour a day? by that i mean when you are actually at home, not counting going out.

i am on a parenting course at the moment, all we are asked to do is 10min child led play each day, child decides we go along with it, you comment on play but no ? to be asked. has made a massive difference to dd. for age groups 2 to 8.

I am into 'out and about' activities and find an unbroken hour of toddler play in the house a bit of a challenge sometimes. I always want to move on to something new before DD does!
To keep myself amused, I just put the radio on in the background. I am happy as I catch up on the news etc, whilst DD gets my (almost) undivided attention and a good play.
We have fun and DD is quite expert in international politics for a toddler.