Am I mad to TTC 2nd? First child does not sleep the night!

[YolandaDavies]

So my first does not yet STN, they are 13 month old and sleep got worse from 6 month on. They are breast fed and we usually end up co sleeping when I go to bed but wake a few times during the night. These are very brief wakings with a quick comfort feed and back to sleep, they last 12 hours a night asleep (bed by 7 and usually awake for the day around 7). Fit context a good night is maybe 3/4 wakes. As it stands although not great I don't think there sleep is awful, I certainly don't feel too tired to deal with day to day life But can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anytime soon.

The thing is me and my DH both want to start TTC number 2. My DH is very supportive and we have talks of a floor bed for DC1 to help the weaning process, they can be comforted back to sleep in other ways it's just BF is the quickest and most convenient as we all look for at 3am. I know TTC could take a while, we were very lucky first time round, but if we were lucky enough to fall pregnant quickly, is 9 months enough to turn it around? Looking to wean gradually and soon anyways and obviously I think everyone aims to have there child STN as quickly as they can! I guess I'm just looking for people who have been in a similar situation to us and managed ok when number two came along? Or is it best to hold off for sleep consistency from number one before adding more to the mix 😂

Sounds normal and healthy to me, no you don't sound crazy

My DD is almost 3 and still wakes once at night but at this age woke loads, we co-slept all night until a little after 2yo and she still gets in with us at some point in the night

There is the danger that your milk might dry up during pregnancy though and you'd lose your magic sleep milk to put your baby back to sleep

We had DS2 when DS1 was 22m and was a chronic non sleeper. Even now at 3.5 he doesn’t sleep through. 6m ago we bought him a double bed and one of us just sleeps in there with him from whenever his first wake up is which has improved the situation slightly though. DS2 is also not a great sleeper, although not as bad as DS1.
I would absolutely not change having DS2 when we did though despite it being incredibly difficult sleep wise, particularly in the first 12m.
Neither child sleep well still at 3.5 and 20m, but it is slooowly improving. Would I have preferred DS1 to be sleeping through before DS2 came? Absolutely. Would I change the age gap? Absolutely not.
In fact, I’d really love a third and am sad the age gap will be much bigger if we do. I’m a glutton for sleep deprivation clearly! 🤪

My DD slept like a dream 90%+ of the time from 6/7m…
I went back to work when she was 13m, everything was chill, life was fairly easy… so we started trying for no 2

I got pregnant and KER-BLAM! Her sleep was in the shitter and I was exhausted from first trimester. This lasted the first 2 trimesters 😵‍💫 she was walking 2-4 times per night for hours sometimes.

my husband basically did 80-90% of night wakes for the duration of my pregnancy.

we do /did sleep train though and there’s no breastfeeding.
i had a DH who I knew would step up and I have always supported his and dd’s relationship so he is confident in handling her solo (there is none of the only mummy knows how to put baby to bed… dd only wants mummy stuff in our house)

basically…
there are no guarantees either way so just crack on and accept the sleep deprivation

I'd just start trying for DC2 if that's what you want to do.

You might want to try some gentle night weaning first though