Partner saying I'm less of a women

[zssta]

Today my partner said something that broke me a little 💔 I'm trying not to let him get to me ..

He said I was unavailable emotionally for him after I gave birth to my daughter...I said I needed time to heal after giving birth it was hard... this is what he said quote... other women were able to to do it, you're less of a women that's why you struggled after birth.

I know its not tru but part of me thought maybe I wasn't good at this mother thing to start off with but I'm doing my best.

What a horrible and unkind thing to say
it should get to you
how can he speak to you like that?
you're vulnerable, given birth and he’s criticising you / comparing you to other women
does he have form?

He is a giant twat. You should dump him. He should be taking care of you not making childish demands. He sounds like a jealous toddler.

What a tosser.

Tell him he’s less of a man for saying such things.

What a self centred, childish prick. He’s not a baby, he’s supposed to be a father and should be focused on the wellbeing of his wife and child. But no it’s “me me me, what about meeeee”. I would find that repulsive in a grown man.

That is a cruel and untrue thing to say. I do not know a single woman who has not struggled in some way after having a baby. It’s a huge physical undertaking and a major life change. He sounds awful.

Sounds like he's a pretty pathetic specimen of a man to be competing with a baby for his wife's attention. Tell him he needs to step up like other men manage to.

And how does he know other women have managed it 🤔

Other men manage to man up and support their wives after birth, instead of expecting emotional support services from them, so I guess he must be less of a man than other men. 🤷‍♀️

You're a woman because you're female. You just had a child - something only possible because you are a woman. There's no such thing as being 'less of a woman'. Absurd and in context, unpleasant.

Bastard. Not much of a man himself, is he.

Exactly.. What an absolute prick. Less of a woman, what a disgusting thing to say.
He should be fucking ashamed of himself.

He's a cunt.

Your partner is a prick.
I could never look at my husband in the same way if he said this to me, especially at the most vulnerable time of my life.

He is less of a man for saying that to you

Precisely.

I would ask for this thread to be moved to Relationships as Id bet my bottom dollar that this is just the tip of the iceberg with this prime specimen of manhood.

Tell him you're ending the relationship because he wasn't there for you after the birth of your child and you can't possibly be with someone who is not a real man.

He sure is.

I read all your messages with tears rolling down my face. I've just put my daughter to sleep . I can't leave him because I've got no family or friends in the UK. We own this house together and it feels impossible about where to start. All my family live in New Zealand and I just wanna go het some support for me and my daughter... I feel so sad and trying to figure a way forward...I have to leave him but how??custody? Moving costs... How can I do this? I know if he could say that to me... one day he wouldn't hesitate to say that to our daughter too.. thank you so so much for your response and support ... It helped nip it in the bud with me even considering I'm a bad mother.

Hope you asked him how he was such an expert all of a sudden and to f**k right off.

How can someone be such a prick.

Get in touch with your family in New Zealand and tell them about the situation you are in.

They know, they just don't seem to have the tools to help me... or don't want too...I think they are still upset about me leaving nz to pursue my career in the UK and was against me being with my partner initially coz i guess they could see what i coulndt...... i unexpectedly fell for the wrong guy and decided to start a family with him. Its more of, its your bed lie in it or get yourself out. And I'm truly trying... I'm 32 BTW.

Wtf??? Seriously who says that to anyone let alone their partner who has just birthed their child.

This !!!!!!!

Oh he's fucking horrible OP. I'm really glad to see that you don't believe him. It's pathetic and awful. Your energies and emotions are exactly where they should be: focused on looking after your tiny little baby, and recovering. The truth is he is less of a man than other men. Real men step up, put their family first, pour their efforts into caring for their baby and their partner who has just given birth. How fucking dare he try and convince you that you are doing something wrong, you're doing exactly what you should be doing. He's the one whose failed badly.

By the way how fucking infuriating misogynistic is it that his idea of "being a woman" is pandering to men??? You're less of a woman because you're not focused on him - I'm sorry fucking what? It sounds like he barely registers that women are full complete people who don't exist to care for men.

'other women were able to to do it'

How many other baby mothers does he have ?