Partner saying I'm less of a women

[zssta]

Today my partner said something that broke me a little 💔 I'm trying not to let him get to me ..

He said I was unavailable emotionally for him after I gave birth to my daughter...I said I needed time to heal after giving birth it was hard... this is what he said quote... other women were able to to do it, you're less of a women that's why you struggled after birth.

I know its not tru but part of me thought maybe I wasn't good at this mother thing to start off with but I'm doing my best.

What would happen if you took yourself off to new zealous for a few weeks so "baby can meet the family and you can get support since apparently he's struggling" ... You might find that your family welcome you and that once you're there it'll seem much easier to leave him.

What a disgusting ‘man’! You are worth so much more than him.

"Ahh, no one was there to attend to your emotional needs after the baby was born. Ahh didums. Grow a set of balls, and start acting like a man".

This is what I would say to him.

Your partner is the World Expert on New Mothers. What a catch you have there.

He can fuck off to Fuckville.

I came here to say that exactly.

Once again, he's a cunt.

What does he actually ''know'' about women? Try to make light of it to him - I can't forget the Lib Dem Party leader - Sir Edward Johnathan Davy - when asked x3 if a women can have a penis during a broadcast answered eventually said -''Clearly a woman can have a penis''! Ask DH if that is what is missing for him. Also you could buy him a few books entitled ''What is a Woman?'' to expand his knowledge. Kept hold of your sense of humour at all times.

Not much to offer other than solidarity, you're not alone in finding this tough. There are three mothers of babies in our small friendship group including me. We're all mid thirties, decent jobs, nice, normal women (if I may say so myself!).

All three of us are on antidepressants, and all three of us are having major relationship problems since the birth of our children.

Don't you dare let him make you feel like less of a woman for struggling. It is so, so hard and I'm sure you're doing an amazing job.

@tara66 , did you mean Sir Edward Jonathan Davey?

FayCarew - yes indeed that's who!

Came on here to say exactly that!

He's a cunt

^

Christ what does the poor little mite need support with?
I think I’d laugh in his face, unless it’s something like life and death!

I just read your first post to my husband and he said, quote "I hope his next shift is a hedgehog."

What a nasty, self-centred man your partner is. I'm glad you know he's the lesser person, not you.

Please start looking into ways you can separate. Maybe a free half hour to consult a solicitor, or Citizens Advice?

How old is your baby now @zssta ?

Your partner is a selfish prick. You gave birth to his baby in a foreign country without any family support and he's thinking about how emotionally unavailable you were. He has no fucking idea what it's like to have a baby. What it's like to have the physical, emotional and hormonal changes. You did that and all he's thinking about is himself. What exactly did he need from you while you were adjusting to motherhood? He's probably such a dickhead that emotionally avaliable is code for not enough sex.

How is he as a parent? Hopefully, better than he is as a partner.

Other women have better men, men who are less needy than a new born and support their partner rather than sponging off them.

Are you married? What’s your housing/work situation?

You don’t need to leave him today, but you need to start planning and working towards it. It will be so much easier on your own.

When I was recovering from the birth of our baby after a traumatic delivery my DH said that it was my job to take care of myself and it was his role to look after me and the baby. I had said I was worried that he wasn't getting a lot of attention and he laughed at me, saying. "We've got the rest of our lives."

Let me guess, did "being there for him emotionally" actually mean 'having sex with him'?

Your partner is a fucking twat.

Yes!!!
Some cheek to say your less of a woman when he's acting like a pathetic boy. A real man would put his wife and child first, not himself.

Is the good news you own the house with him and aren’t married so no messy divorce?

that’s a shocking thing to say to any woman, never mind one who gave birth to your child.

i am not sure I fully understand, you say he said you were emotionally unavailable, but then you respond it was as it took you time to heal, but that’s physical not emotional. Was this about sex?

Yes I’m concerned this is even worse than folks think, he was complaining she didn’t give him sex quickly enough.

What everyone else said OP. In particular the comparison with unspecified 'other women' is the work of a twat. Or rather cunt.

Is he abusive?

Clearly .

Ugh, yuck. Men who get jealous and have little temper tantrums when their babies get more attention than them are repulsive.

I'd be letting him know in no uncertain terms that after what he's said you see him as less of a man, as real men stand by their recently post partum partners and new babies, and rise to the challenges of fatherhood whereas he has spectacularly fallen flat. As you signed up for a relationship with a man, not a wet dish rag, you'll be ending the relationship.

I'm so sorry he's turned out to be such a tremendous fuckwit.

Not sure you should split a family up for one comment