Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Would you allow your 10yo on the train alone?

100 replies

MinnieMountain · 07/01/2024 15:03

We’re thinking of letting DS get the train to his DGPs for the day without us.
He would be 10 and a half by the time we get round to it. Train is 20 minutes and he’d get off at the first stop.
Would you? He’s pretty sensible.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Copperoliverbear · 07/01/2024 23:21

If it's only 20mins get on with him, give him to his grandparents and get back on the other side just over half an hour of your time

Ejismyf · 07/01/2024 23:24

Absolutely not a chance. The last train I was on with my dh three boys were sitting openly sniffing drugs off the table in the middle of the day. The one before that there was a drunk couple arguing and fighting with each other. I'd trust my child to behave, I don't trust the other passengers.

Flyhigher · 08/01/2024 16:55

It's differ at 11 and 12. More street wise. 10 is young and they drink on trains now and all sorts. If you want to speed him into teen years fast then do it. If not... keep helping him till he insists he's going on his own.

It will come fast do t you worry! And you will hate it until he's about 14, they are very ditzy at times

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Samlewis96 · 28/04/2024 10:17

tribpot · 07/01/2024 15:17

Check the particular train operating company. LNER don't have a minimum age (but say they will call British Transport Police if concerned for a child's safety). C2C do - it's 12: https://www.c2c-online.co.uk/help_centre/tickets/at-what-age-can-children-travel-on-your-trains-unaccompanied-by-an-adult/

Will you be able to physically put him on the train and the grandparents be on the platform itself, i.e. there aren't ticket barriers?

Would he know what to do if he forgot to get off at the first stop? Would he remember all his stuff when leaving the train?

I'm assuming that there's a reason you don't just go with him the 20 min train journey and back again, is it to do with the frequency of the service or does he particularly want to do the journey alone?

Wonder how that works with all the year 7 s using it to go to school

JaninaDuszejko · 28/04/2024 12:02

Wonder how that works with all the year 7 s using it to go to school

Realistically how many y7s will be using a main line train to go to school every day? Children go to school in their own town or city.

IDontHateRainbows · 28/04/2024 12:31

I went on the train to school in year 6, age 11.
Had to change lines and get a bus at the other end too!

muddyford · 28/04/2024 12:41

Seeing that travel to secondary school is just around the corner, yes.

Startingagainandagain · 28/04/2024 12:44

No I would not.

I really don't think it is a good idea OP and I think that would be irresponsible parenting.

I would be different if it was a short journey back from school with a group of friends but not in his own for a longer trip.

muddyford · 28/04/2024 12:44

Meant to say do a rehearsal with you shadowing. Has to get to station, buy ticket, board train safely and then get off the other end.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 28/04/2024 12:45

Not a chance.
He might well be pretty sensible but you have no idea who else is on that train or in the station.
Is there a reason why someone cannot be on the train with him?

Natsku · 28/04/2024 12:56

I would. But I think for the first time I would go on the train too, but not with him. I'd sit in a different carriage but would be there to see that he gets off right and he knows that you're there if he suddenly feels uncomfortable with it. After that time, you'd know how he can handle it, and he'll know how he can handle it so in future he can go by himself.

MinnieMountain · 28/04/2024 12:58

Erm. I started the thread in January and said in my third post we wouldn’t be doing it.

I don’t know why you resurrected it @Samlewis96 .

OP posts:
Soigneur · 28/04/2024 13:17

@tribpot what an utterly bizarre rule! If SWR had that rule half the year 7s in our county wouldn’t be able to get to school!

Clearinguptheclutter · 28/04/2024 13:23

20minutes no changes? Def yes

I thought you were going to say five hour trip across the country. I might be ok with this if no changes and he took his phone.

Clearinguptheclutter · 28/04/2024 13:25

Oops zombie thread

Clearinguptheclutter · 28/04/2024 13:25

JaninaDuszejko · 28/04/2024 12:02

Wonder how that works with all the year 7 s using it to go to school

Realistically how many y7s will be using a main line train to go to school every day? Children go to school in their own town or city.

In London this is extremely common.

Soigneur · 28/04/2024 13:25

JaninaDuszejko · 28/04/2024 12:02

Wonder how that works with all the year 7 s using it to go to school

Realistically how many y7s will be using a main line train to go to school every day? Children go to school in their own town or city.

Not everyone lives in a town or city and in the Southeast it is incredibly common for secondary school children to travel by train to the nearest school. Our small rural station is packed with school kids every morning going three stops to the nearest town for school. Some (especially private school students) go a lot further.

Dartwarbler · 28/04/2024 14:32

MinnieMountain · 07/01/2024 15:53

Thanks everyone. We’ll leave it for a year or 2.
The idea came about because we were visiting yesterday and DS said he’d love to go round all the charity shops. Mine and DH’s idea of hell but DGPs would love it. So we’ll get the train with him one day and go for a walk for a few hours instead.

That’s a real shame. MN is full of catastrophising mums 🙄.
hes 10, more than capable if he has confidence and independence….and you’ve raised him to be aware of his surroundings etc.

sure, doing a practice run where you tag along but he leads is worthwhile, and obviously if there are busy roads on route of walk it’s best to be accompanied as kids brains are not yet fully developed to assess speed or be risk adverse. Being hit by car is probably biggest risk in that sort of journey.

But a small local line during day that he’s used to using is really safe. Yes there is an incredibly rare risk that a unsavoury person may try to harm him , but you can explain he finds seat in train where there are others, ideally women, about . Just like women do. If he feels uncomfortable he asks for help, and if someone touches him he shouts in very loud voice. Just as women do.

it makes no difference waiting 2 years, 4 years etc..,at some point he will have to learn to do this and the sooner he builds confidence on small safe journeys the better. By the time he’s a teenager he’ll be more at risk statistically of assault by other teens than he is by a random stranger now, even though in most places that is still very low. So,when IS the right time? Children don’t suddenly wake up,age 12, 14, 16 or even 21 equipped with navigating the world without their parents. They learn through a gradual loosening of apron strings. This journey seemed a simple safe place to start.

so what if he misses his stop. He can get off and double back. Trains are brilliant for that. So what if he looses a ticket- call parents or Gp. If he’s used to trains he knows to stand back from line, wait till train stops before approaching, hold onto rails when train is moving etc. he’s not a roomy on this is he? He has a phone can ask for advice or reassurance. If something unusual happens. It will build mental resilience for him to think on his feet and solve small problems. Yep, it might make him a little anxious, but that’ll happen to any of us when stuff happens we don’t expect and that’s what mental resilience is all about. Feeling a tadge of fear but knowing well handle it.

we’re no more unsafe in terms of crimes towards children than we were in 60s. Yet we act as if the world is full of people waiting in wings to molest or attack your child. In practice as we all know he is way more likely to be harmed by someone he knows in scouts, football, boys brigade, school or church or his own home. Sadly.

i always think mums that post these messages here are trying to get approval for breaking a social taboo and to absolve themselves of any guilt if something went vaguely wrong. But socially acceptable parenting bar seems to raise each year with limiting ever older children from learning independence. It’s nowt to do with other mums. He’s your child, you know the GP and the route, have confidence in your own risk assessment and beliefs.

There is a lot of harm done to teenagers and young people’s mental health when they’ve not developed that mental resilience and independence…but no one on these threads wants to consider that.

Dartwarbler · 28/04/2024 14:33

Ok, just seen zombie …sorry OP…🤯🤬

Samlewis96 · 28/04/2024 15:33

Startingagainandagain · 28/04/2024 12:44

No I would not.

I really don't think it is a good idea OP and I think that would be irresponsible parenting.

I would be different if it was a short journey back from school with a group of friends but not in his own for a longer trip.

One stop on the train and a journey of 20 mins?

Samlewis96 · 28/04/2024 15:38

Soigneur · 28/04/2024 13:25

Not everyone lives in a town or city and in the Southeast it is incredibly common for secondary school children to travel by train to the nearest school. Our small rural station is packed with school kids every morning going three stops to the nearest town for school. Some (especially private school students) go a lot further.

This. Many kids travel to school on the train. No catholic school in my town so they get train to next town , the grammar schools are often a train ride. My own son when he stayed at his dad's ( 50/50) care had to get a train, change 2 stops later cross platform and get another train. ( Branch line to mainline)

Maybe it's just the Southeast

MinnieMountain · 28/04/2024 15:45

STOP POSTING ON MY ZOMBIE THREAD @Samlewis96

OP posts:
Samlewis96 · 28/04/2024 17:00

MinnieMountain · 28/04/2024 12:58

Erm. I started the thread in January and said in my third post we wouldn’t be doing it.

I don’t know why you resurrected it @Samlewis96 .

Didn't realize i had Came up on list of "similar threads" No need to get so snarly over it.

JaninaDuszejko · 28/04/2024 19:55

LNER is a main line trainline not the London underground or a rural line, since you can get on the train in Newcastle that doesn't stop till Edinburgh or get on the train in Darlington and not stop till Doncaster it's really not surprising they don't allow young children on the train alone. I specifically said nobody takes a main line train to school. Not nobody takes the tube @Clearinguptheclutter or nobody takes a rural line @Soigneur . Reading comprehension is atrocious on MN at times.

Soigneur · 28/04/2024 22:27

JaninaDuszejko · 28/04/2024 19:55

LNER is a main line trainline not the London underground or a rural line, since you can get on the train in Newcastle that doesn't stop till Edinburgh or get on the train in Darlington and not stop till Doncaster it's really not surprising they don't allow young children on the train alone. I specifically said nobody takes a main line train to school. Not nobody takes the tube @Clearinguptheclutter or nobody takes a rural line @Soigneur . Reading comprehension is atrocious on MN at times.

The TOC that was mentioned as having age restrictions by a PP was C2C and LNER was specifically mentioned as NOT having any age restrictions. Schoolchildren do use LNER services for getting to school, for example between Retford and Doncaster.

I’m on a mainline (Portsmouth Harbour-London) and it is heavily used by schoolchildren.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread