Would you allow your 10yo on the train alone?

[MinnieMountain]

We’re thinking of letting DS get the train to his DGPs for the day without us.
He would be 10 and a half by the time we get round to it. Train is 20 minutes and he’d get off at the first stop.
Would you? He’s pretty sensible.

I think @MinnieMountain meant that the train now goes on from Spalding where her DS would et off (20 mins) to Donnie/Lincoln

Oh I am so daft!

No.

I would. As long as put on the train at one end and met at the train door the other. If he has got a phone he can keep in touch with you en route. Make sure you pick a train time when it is daylight and likely to have several passengers on board.

I used to travel into London from Southend when I was not much older.

A ten year old with a phone in Year 6 I would, a ten year old without a phone in year 5 I wouldn’t. DS goes to an Essex grammar and plenty of 11 year olds in Year 7 are travelling by train, some from the outskirts of London, and navigating buses from the station to the school at the other end.
However you would also need to check the train company was OK with it. We assumed it would be fine for our Year 6 11 year old to get the train to London , hour journey, put on at one end, picked up at the other, because we knew plenty of his future schoolmates would be doing the same thing but the other way round at the same age in Year 7 (he is autumn born). But the train company was not hugely keen about it, although they did let him on.

Local boy was raped on a train at 14 years old

No I wouldn't allow my 12 yr old so no not 10

www.itv.com/news/meridian/2023-12-14/rapist-who-attacked-teenage-boy-on-train-jailed-for-24-years

I wouldn't. But that's because I currently have a 10 year old and she isn't at a point for me to consider something like this yet.

I used to let DC go into town by bus aged 10. And by 11 they were travelling to school alone by train, including on dark mornings and evenings. So yes, I would. Make sure his phone is charged and maybe call him a few mins before his stop to remind him to get off.

I'd allow from the age of 11. 10.5 probably is old enough, but 11 seems a clearer point to allow it since all the dc around here (London) start getting public transport to secondary. 10 year olds often walk to primary school but rarely take public transport.

Yes, for a short trip aged 10. He's being put on at one stop and met off the train at the next. He's reaching the age where independence is really important.

Many DC starting Y7 get public buses or trains to school. Yes, they're often with friends or schoolmates, but they also often have to make connections or walk a mile or more at the other end. Two of my DC did this (as did both DH and I back in the Dark Ages). It's all part of them growing up - and letting them go is part of you allowing them to grow up, too.

Yes as long as he has a phone on him

Yes I think so.
we live in a city with a local train line. My son was 10 and in year 6 when he first started taking the train into town for choir.
( remember year 7 kids who maybe just 11 should really be able to get themselves to school unless there are issues with transport etc. for us that meant train / bus or 2 buses )

as regards “ it just takes one missed stop “ etc absolutely they learn to do it / trouble shoot with you there before you let them “ fly solo “. We did many journeys with me not in the the same carriage etc to practice , and talked through all the “ what ifs “ ( eg doors don’t open , missed stop, someone is behaving oddly etc etc )

I taught year 1 uni students in the community ( 18yr olds ). I was pretty shocked that they really hadn’t learned to use public transport before leaving home - getting to me on day 1 ( 2 stops on the local train) stressed them so much ( group
if 8 so they weren’t alone ) that we didn’t really learn that day 🤣. And the days the doors didn’t open and they had to ooh…. Go to the next stop , 4 mins further on , get off , cross the bridge and come back- utter panic !

Yes, especially if it's a journey he has done before. I took my first solo journey aged 7, from Manchester to Wales. Had never done it before, and had a piece of paper with the station name written on, together with a HUGE bag to get off on time. My parents made sure I was sitting near the door and a window, and I'm pretty sure they spoke to the guard.

Mine nearly 10. Very sensible but no way!

Yes, definitely, if you have a sensible child. My DC did at that age. And they were taking the bus alone younger.

I have a 10 year old. No way would I let him do this. If anything happened he wouldn’t know how to react or what to do.

Yes, I’d let a sensible 10yr old who is used to train travel and has a phone.

Lots of kids are travelling by train aged 11 to school, and not always in large groups, particularly from the smaller rural stations.

Yes if I'd done a trial run accompanied, child was happy to do so and they had a phone they were confident using in case of emergency.

I used to get the train alone daily to school aged 11, it was a half hour journey with a change and bus ride at the other end. It soon became natural. And no mobiles in those days either.

Yes I would, mine would have been getting a bus then a train, then walking to school at 11 if we hadn't moved

DS got a train 30 minutes to a city to meet friends at 12.

When a was about 12 l was waiting at a train station up North for my Dad and my sister to join me, l was sat on a bench and this weirdo came and sat next to me, tried to chat, l remember how uncomfortable l felt, luckily my Dad and sister arrived and the weirdo skulked off. It's not whether your son is sensible, it's the unsavoury people that are sadly walking amongst us most of the time.

My year 6 11 year old definitely not, and a year ago even less so.

My teenage DDs have both done train journeys with friends, including on a main line train no problem. They walked into town either by themselves, or with friends or together from year 7 but only asked to do train trips in year 9 (so age 13/14). We live in a town but never use public transport, we either walk or drive so it's different from someone who has grown up regularly taking public transport.

No. It's young. He will feel frightened. Go with him and get a return. Child is worth more than time/money.

Why don't grandparents come and meet him? It's 20 mins

At secondary age I probably would, with no changes. Quite a lot of children have to get a train to secondary school.

No 100% no