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Original poster

14 year old has asked if he can have a drink?

87 replies

Pollydollydoodle · 31/12/2023 16:41

Just this ^ he's asked if he could have one drink with the bells. I said no, but now thinking in the safety of family maybe it would be ok. Views? And what would you offer?
If we lived in Europe I know this wouldn't even be an issue!

OP posts:
muchalover · 31/12/2023 21:07

Make it normal. Measured. Open. It takes the secrecy out of it.

BlowingAway · 31/12/2023 22:01

I was doing shots in clubs at that age.
Never had an issue with alcohol.
So I'd say it's fine!

Random30 · 31/12/2023 22:02

Pollydollydoodle · 31/12/2023 16:41

Just this ^ he's asked if he could have one drink with the bells. I said no, but now thinking in the safety of family maybe it would be ok. Views? And what would you offer?
If we lived in Europe I know this wouldn't even be an issue!

I live in Europe and the answer is No.

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14 year olds Families General parenting
LightSwerve · 31/12/2023 22:11

I would say no, 14 is too young.

Original poster
Pollydollydoodle · 31/12/2023 22:13

Thanks everyone. Interesting to hear the split views. We decided a small glass would be ok, although he's yawning his head off so might not make midnight 🤣
@TeaGinandFags thank you for kind comment about raising him well.
Happy new year everyone x

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 31/12/2023 22:13

Pollydollydoodle · 31/12/2023 16:41

Just this ^ he's asked if he could have one drink with the bells. I said no, but now thinking in the safety of family maybe it would be ok. Views? And what would you offer?
If we lived in Europe I know this wouldn't even be an issue!

And it's not even an issue here, if you are at home. Perfectly legal.
It's one supervised drink.
They are 14.

Pick your hill to die on.

Rawroink · 31/12/2023 22:14

I’ve allowed it with mine on a special occasion no spirits
have two older teens and they don’t drink now unless it’s an event

raspberrybeeret · 31/12/2023 22:15

I wouldn't personally - agree they can next year. 14 seems young to me.

LightSwerve · 31/12/2023 22:16

My parents drank little and only for special occasions. We were allowed a taste from a young age, and a glass as teenagers. It taught us responsibility around alcohol.

Tasting it is not what teaches responsibility around alcohol, it is the model of growing up in a low-drinking household.

There is no evidence that letting kids try alcohol teaches responsible drinking, that is a comforting lie parents tell themselves.

The basic rule is the more alcohol the parents drink, the more likely it is the kids will be problem drinkers.

fourelementary · 31/12/2023 22:17

Yes totally fine. My 14 year old is enjoying a glass of Rosé and watching “would I lie to you” with us- it’s great!!

Thegoodbadandugly · 31/12/2023 22:18

Yes I was would give him one he's in a safe controlled environment, better that than him going out doing.it behind your back.

BertieBotts · 31/12/2023 22:18

What's the Europe comment about? The drinking age is 16 in most of Europe. In the UK it is legal to allow your own children to drink alcohol under your supervision at home from the age of 5.

Anyway my (European) 15yo is either extremely good at lying or not remotely interested in alcohol, which seems to be mirrored in his friendship group. It surprised me. I think I was curious about alcohol at 15. It is very odd to me that next NYE he could go out to a pub if he wants to. But I suppose we'll work that out when we get there.

LightSwerve · 31/12/2023 22:19

My 14 year old is enjoying a glass of Rosé and watching “would I lie to you” with us- it’s great!! I think this is really bad. Alcohol is so bad for teenage brains and wine is quite strong. Pushing drink on kids like this is very strange IMO.

blackpanth · 31/12/2023 22:23

Tygertiger · 31/12/2023 20:15

Without wishing to be a killjoy, it’s worth reading up on the effect of alcohol on adolescent brains. We know a lot more now about long-term effects and it’s not something I’ll be letting my teens do - I have totally changed my stance on this as I was previously in the “one glass on special occasions is fine” camp. Now I’m very much telling mine that it’s 18 for a reason and I’m protecting their brains by saying that.

What if when he reaches 18 he goes crazy? I knew someone who wasn't allowed and when he went to a party went mad and ended up in hospital as he split his head open. Your brain doesn't stop developing till 25 anyway.

Thegoodbadandugly · 31/12/2023 22:25

LightSwerve · 31/12/2023 22:19

My 14 year old is enjoying a glass of Rosé and watching “would I lie to you” with us- it’s great!! I think this is really bad. Alcohol is so bad for teenage brains and wine is quite strong. Pushing drink on kids like this is very strange IMO.

You will find the more you deprive children of that age the more likely they are going to go against your wishes and could actually end up in a worst position. It is New year's eve, it's a one off and one drink.

Clemfandango95 · 31/12/2023 22:25

I was down my local pub drinking all sorts at 14. This was only in 2009!

Mumaway · 31/12/2023 22:29

I would let him have a small drink. Not spirits unless with a mixer, maybe beer or fizz ..

Tygertiger · 31/12/2023 22:36

blackpanth · 31/12/2023 22:23

What if when he reaches 18 he goes crazy? I knew someone who wasn't allowed and when he went to a party went mad and ended up in hospital as he split his head open. Your brain doesn't stop developing till 25 anyway.

Show quote history

Your brain doesn’t stop developing until your mid-late 20s, absolutely. The difference is 18 year olds are legal adults. Until then, parents have to set boundaries. I’m not saying that a 17 year old should never have a taste of beer. I am saying it’s unnecessary for a 14 year old and the medical evidence firmly supports that. You make your own choices but the “a taste stops a blowout” argument is a myth. It’s alcohol. It’s an addictive poison. Refusing to let a minor have it is categorically not the same as never letting a 7 year old have Haribo so they grow up craving sugar.

carly2803 · 31/12/2023 22:36

yes i would!

better at home and its easier to put them off if thye are allowed to drink!

Natsku · 31/12/2023 22:42

I'd allow a small drink, something that tastes alcholy like beer or wine, definitely not an alkopop.

Though my 5 year old asked to drink my wine tonight, he must have thought it was juice because we had just has some fancy non alcoholic fizzy juice from a wine like bottle. Obviously said no to that!

Toooldtoworry · 31/12/2023 22:47

gocompare · 31/12/2023 19:58

At 14 I was in the park drinking thunderbirds.

He's obviously a good kid. And asking.

I'd let him have one.

Oooh God Thunderbird 🤮 🤣

Me too!

determinedtomakethiswork · 31/12/2023 22:56

KissTheRains · 31/12/2023 16:42

Hard to get worked up about. At 14, I was downing White Lightening on the BMX track behind the school.

I would have loved to have been your friend! God knows where I would've ended up as a result, but I would have enjoyed the ride!

KissTheRains · 31/12/2023 23:08

determinedtomakethiswork · 31/12/2023 22:56

I would have loved to have been your friend! God knows where I would've ended up as a result, but I would have enjoyed the ride!

Show quote history

It was the 90s ..
Great times.
One of our mates looked old enough to buy beer, so he did.
Drinking oursens daft of an evening. One morning three of us woke up in a tent in a field 25miles from home. To this day, I can't remember how we got there or where we got the tent from. Other less drunken people told us that we knocked the tent from a friend's garage and got a train..
Getting home was fun..
"Mum... Me and a couple friends are in Lutterworth... Yes I know I said I'd be staying at Amanda's.. no Amanda isn't here.. grounded, yes I know mum.. can you come get us please? .... Mum?.... mum?.... hello?....oh bugger"
Dad came for us, he knew we'd been drinking and made a point of playing old 80s rock at a very high volume.. 🤣

Good times.
I would hate my daughter to randomly wake up in a tent just outside Lutterworth though... 🤪

christmaspawpaws · 31/12/2023 23:10

I was allowed anything to taste, but my parents only drank lager or wine, never spirits
Pimms was my fave and I used to have a v weak one from age 12 or so
But I grew up in pubs, and that was enough to make sure I was never a drinker TBH. Binge drink on nights out but I often go a year or 2 with no alcohol at all

WetBandits · 31/12/2023 23:24

A little glass of something to see the new year in is fine!

I was drinking bottles of Mickey Finn in fields at his age 😳 I rarely drink as an adult, though.