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Original poster

14 year old has asked if he can have a drink?

87 replies

Pollydollydoodle · 31/12/2023 16:41

Just this ^ he's asked if he could have one drink with the bells. I said no, but now thinking in the safety of family maybe it would be ok. Views? And what would you offer?
If we lived in Europe I know this wouldn't even be an issue!

OP posts:
KissTheRains · 31/12/2023 16:42

Hard to get worked up about. At 14, I was downing White Lightening on the BMX track behind the school.

Greenshake · 31/12/2023 16:43

I think this would be a safe and appropriate way to let him experience NYE with an alcoholic drink.

theduchessofspork · 31/12/2023 16:44

One small drink with the bells is fine at 14 IMO.

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Rockrobon · 31/12/2023 16:45

Let him have a beer to try. My parents were getting me smirnoff ice etc at that age which is actually a bad idea as they don’t even taste like alcohol and we’d drink a few! He likely won’t like the beer but will feel grown up having one.

KezzaMucklowe · 31/12/2023 16:45

I think it is fine. My dc had a small cider with Christmas dinner and a baileys before bed on Christmas Eve, they are 13. They can have a small glass of bubbles at 12.00 tonight.
Nothing bad happened, they drank it slowly and sensibly. They weren’t drunk or craving more.

KCandtheSunlightBand · 31/12/2023 16:46

I would include him in the celebrations, we included our children around that age, mostly very dilute spritzer or Buck’s Fizz. They all hated it too strong, and none of them have ever drunk much alcohol, apart from freshers weeks!

Peoplemakemedespair · 31/12/2023 16:47

I’d give him one. He’s not down the field with a bottle of vodka. He’s asked to have presumably an alcopop with his mum

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 31/12/2023 17:47

KissTheRains · 31/12/2023 16:42

Hard to get worked up about. At 14, I was downing White Lightening on the BMX track behind the school.

Love this answer!

gocompare · 31/12/2023 19:58

At 14 I was in the park drinking thunderbirds.

He's obviously a good kid. And asking.

I'd let him have one.

Quartz2208 · 31/12/2023 20:06

Mine is having a glass of champagne much better to start here than in the park or downing vodka at a party

ThisIsMyHappyFacee · 31/12/2023 20:09

My 14 year old son asked for Bucks Fizz on Christmas day, champagne with fresh orange, I allowed it for the first time x

Singleandproud · 31/12/2023 20:12

Dd is the same age, if she wanted a small glass I'd let her.

We aren't a big drinking family but do buy alcohol free Bulmers which she likes and hopefully it stays that way. They look the same as the alcoholic ones but just a tiny "alcohol free" symbol.

shellyleppard · 31/12/2023 20:13

I'd let him have one....at least he will be drinking at home not down the park (mum of two teenage boys).......

CrazyCatLadySuitsMe · 31/12/2023 20:14

I offered both my DC at that age. My younger did get drunk a few times around 14/15 (not ideal at all) but I didn't make a massive thing about.

They are now 18 and 19 and DD has only had a couple of drinks this year and DS is teetotal!

I think if you take the mystery away it makes it less appealing

Tygertiger · 31/12/2023 20:15

Without wishing to be a killjoy, it’s worth reading up on the effect of alcohol on adolescent brains. We know a lot more now about long-term effects and it’s not something I’ll be letting my teens do - I have totally changed my stance on this as I was previously in the “one glass on special occasions is fine” camp. Now I’m very much telling mine that it’s 18 for a reason and I’m protecting their brains by saying that.

EarringsandLipstick · 31/12/2023 20:17

Complete opposite to all the other posters so far - it's a no from me.

I really don't think it's a good idea teens that young to have alcohol and all the research supports not allowing alcohol in the home for teens.

Yes, I'm being hypocritical as I was drinking under 18 but times have changed; there's no advantage to teens drinking alcohol.

BeaRF75 · 31/12/2023 20:17

At 14? Of course - why wouldn't you?
My niece could mix a mean G&T at 14 - she knew what she liked! But she doesn't drink much as an adult.

EarringsandLipstick · 31/12/2023 20:19

Tygertiger · 31/12/2023 20:15

Without wishing to be a killjoy, it’s worth reading up on the effect of alcohol on adolescent brains. We know a lot more now about long-term effects and it’s not something I’ll be letting my teens do - I have totally changed my stance on this as I was previously in the “one glass on special occasions is fine” camp. Now I’m very much telling mine that it’s 18 for a reason and I’m protecting their brains by saying that.

Cross-posted but exactly this.

My DD16 doesn't drink nor do her friends; just not part of their social scene at all, all quite sporty

(I suspect it may be different with at least my middle DS14, in a few years, but I won't be facilitating it).

ActDottie · 31/12/2023 20:24

I think at his age and given it’ll be supervised then it’s fine and I’d let him. I think around 14 I used to be allowed Buck’s Fizz with special meals.

Neriah · 31/12/2023 20:26

My parents drank little and only for special occasions. We were allowed a taste from a young age, and a glass as teenagers. It taught us responsibility around alcohol. You can either agree and make it no big deal. Or refuse and let him sneak around behind your back.

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 31/12/2023 20:26

I have introduced my DS 13 to zero alcohol beer and its been a hit

TeaGinandFags · 31/12/2023 20:28

Tygertiger · 31/12/2023 20:15

Without wishing to be a killjoy, it’s worth reading up on the effect of alcohol on adolescent brains. We know a lot more now about long-term effects and it’s not something I’ll be letting my teens do - I have totally changed my stance on this as I was previously in the “one glass on special occasions is fine” camp. Now I’m very much telling mine that it’s 18 for a reason and I’m protecting their brains by saying that.

One cuckoo doth not a summer make.

OP, he sounds like a good kid - someone raised him well.

Allowing DC to have small supervised amounts of alcohol takes away the allure and makes it boring and there is a world of difference between white lightening on the BMX track behind the school - to take an example purely at random - and a glass or even a bittle of beer with Mum at NYE.

Pour him one and enjoy the occasion.

Tygertiger · 31/12/2023 20:30

TeaGinandFags · 31/12/2023 20:28

One cuckoo doth not a summer make.

OP, he sounds like a good kid - someone raised him well.

Allowing DC to have small supervised amounts of alcohol takes away the allure and makes it boring and there is a world of difference between white lightening on the BMX track behind the school - to take an example purely at random - and a glass or even a bittle of beer with Mum at NYE.

Pour him one and enjoy the occasion.

Show quote history

Should maybe add I was a secondary teacher for 17 years. Most teens aren’t drinking, contrary to popular myth, and most parents aren’t letting them. Vaping is a whole other problem….

EarringsandLipstick · 31/12/2023 21:03

@Tygertiger

I agree.

And in certain (affluent) schools in my area, the big problem is cocaine ... 😱

InAMess2023 · 31/12/2023 21:05

Better than a bottle of Concord in a back alley 😂😂😂