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Parenting

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Original poster

discipline for under 2s??

13 replies

knakered · 15/03/2008 19:30

Hi I ahve 4 children 6,7,9 and 18months. My observation having been thru it all with the older 3 is that there is little point disciplining under 2 and you shoud just let it go. My baby is exceptionally calm and good natured and I have never had a disciplinary incident with her. However my nanny refers to using the naughty step with her??? We had an incident a few months back where the 18 month old thru her bib on the floor (I would judst ignore this) the nanny shouted at the baby to pick it up enough to terrify her and make her cryt hen she gripped her up by her arm and pulled her over to a naughty mat...I was appalled but ashamed to say that I stood back. I broought it up the next day and said that this behaviour amounted was bullying she apologised...but I am struggling to get over this and think I have lsot confidence in her.

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Skimty · 15/03/2008 19:36

That sounds terrible. I would be really upset over that. I have a lovely 18mo as well btw!

How long have you known her?

CatIsSleepy · 15/03/2008 19:38

surely at that age throwing stuff on floor etc is just a game to them? rather than naughtiness.
18 months is too young for punishment like that, sounds harsh to me.

Seona1973 · 15/03/2008 19:39

IMO 18 months is too young for the naughty step. My ds is nearly that age and wouldnt understand the concept so wouldnt learn anything from it. Throwing a bib is hardly a hanging offence and wouldnt warrant the naughty step for any age group. I think you should dicuss with the nanny what sort of discipline you would want to use e.g. say no and then use distraction, etc

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chickytwotimes · 15/03/2008 19:40

I agree with the other posters. It is a waste of time doing naughty step stuff at that young age.

LittleBella · 15/03/2008 19:43

Your nanny doesn't sound as if she knows anything about child development, frankly.

Original poster

knakered · 15/03/2008 20:31

Thanks for your insight...I read somewher that a childs personality is determined by how they were tloved until they were 3 and then disciplined until they were six you coudl read into this that disciple is not that relevent or effective before 3...experience with my other 3 would make me agree with this

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TheAntiFlounce · 15/03/2008 20:33

jeez, I'd sack her, I think. tjhat's horrible.

rookiemater · 15/03/2008 20:35

My DS is 23mths and its only over the last month or so that I have tried to apply any consequences to actions, but it would only be something like not watching Bob after his tea if he ran off from me. TBH its not a huge success anyway and would have been completely pointless when he was 18mths old.

If he has a paddy about something then we just ignore him and he stops soon enough.

I didn't know that thing about discipline not being relevant before 3, but it makes sense and is a bit of a relief because I hate being heavy handed.

phlossie · 15/03/2008 20:35

That's shocking. Surely a nanny knows that 18 month olds aren't purposefully 'naughty'? I know this after have just one child that age - and you clearly know have been through it with three. Especially if she's a good natured little thing. Poor baby. I'd ditch the nanny.

LittleBella · 15/03/2008 20:49

I think when they're that young, a consequence has to be immediate tbh. A child under about 5 ish won't connect being able to watch TV later on with something he did earlier on. You can threaten an older child with that and it works a treat though.

Not trying to start a fight or anything, just trying to be helpful.

rookiemater · 15/03/2008 20:52

Its ok Littlebella, I'm hopeless at controlling Rookietoddler. He is generally a lovely soul but he can shoot off so fast and doesn't understand its dangerous, so I was trying to find a way to make him stop and no Bob was the only thing I could think of as I try to change my voice like Supernanny says and make it deep and impressive but he doesn't really listen. I wouldn't shout at him though, that would just be mean.

callmeovercautious · 15/03/2008 20:58

I would have made DD (also 18m) pick it up if she was not strapped to her highchair. But I would not see the point in adding consequeces like a naughty mat. DD will know what she has done is "naughty" because I tell her no, we don't throw etc

A nanny should know better imo.

jaspersslave · 15/03/2008 21:12

i have a 15 month old dd who is sometime a naughty little thing but i know she would never understand any punishment although because i have a 3 year old ds who dont understand why his sister dosnt get in trouble i send her to the naughty step which she thinks is a game and just sits there swinging her legs but it means my son thinks she is getting in trouble

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