Going back to work is easier than being at home?

[gemloving]

I'm on maternity leave but my baby was stillborn. 4 year old and 2 year old at home.

The chaos in my house is real, my husband can just close the door upstairs and work. Well I did the same unless I was on mat leave with my first born and second born. I was thinking of reducing my hours every day to do pick ups rather than have every Friday off but today has just been a bad day and I'm like: I might as well pay someone to look after my kids in my own home, take them to the clubs etc. it seems easier than dealing with them constantly fighting, the 4 year old is often angry.

Just had to write it down as today was a shit show. Big boy goes to school usually but was unwell so home, little one goes 3 days 9-3pm and usually it's all good but it's one of those days where I wish I could just close the door.

So sorry to hear about the still birth op. That sounds really hard. Have you had counselling support or other psychotherapeutic help?

Kids do drive us up the wall but reduced patience also goes hand in hand with grief. It's like you lose your usual elasticity and ability to cope with challenging situations because you're in so much pain.

Going back to work might help, it might not. Do you get much time to yourself? Can dh take the kids for the odd half hour in the day so you can have a break? If you can afford it, paying someone to help for a few hours so you can go off and howl might help.

Hoping things feel better for you soon.