Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Do you leave kids alone and nip to the toilet?

96 replies

Awonderfuldayinthepark · 14/12/2023 18:07

I was in McDonald’s and only I needed a wee, 3 children 8, 6 and 5 all eating and colouring.

I ran to the loo. Left my phone with the 8 year old, told him to look after his younger brother and made them all repeat back to me to not move.

I’ve been doing this for about a year, only in local places that we have been to before. Probably started doing this once the youngest started school. They are all good sensible(ish) kids.

I felt like I got a strangle look off this one woman which made me question if I should leave them alone?

Do you/would you leave them for a few minutes?

Also, when we arrived at McDonald’s I ordered they all go and sit down. I can see them enough to know where they are but again questioning this too!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
liveforsummer · 14/12/2023 19:39

Lougle · 14/12/2023 18:40

I think what we have to remember is that to leave your children, you need to be able to justify the decision if it went wrong. There's no legal age to leave children. I don't know how you could justify leaving a 5 year old or a 6 year old in a public place with only a 8 year old to protect them from harm, if something happened. Of course, every time nothing happens it's very easy to say it was fine.

Going to the toilet is not 'leaving them' 🙄. Going to the pub a few streets down maybe or popping out on a shopping spree but to the loo. Come on!

mathanxiety · 14/12/2023 19:46

If you're not there with them, you've left them.

mathanxiety · 14/12/2023 19:49

bananamangoes · 14/12/2023 18:52

Yes, you can't drag all 3 with you

What would happen to them?

Of course you can - and should - drag all three along with you.

What would be the problem?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

8 year olds Families General parenting
Original poster
Awonderfuldayinthepark · 14/12/2023 20:07

Just to be clear, I only just about feel comfortable doing this and I’m not 100% comfortable in doing so either.

I only ever do it at our local places, like McDonald’s and local small cafe where the toilet is close. Never a larger or new places or where the toilet it’s miles away or around corners or a couple of doors away.

I guess I’m just thinking it’s more of a safety in numbers kinda thing with leaving 3 of them!

another question, what age do you let kids go to the toilet on their own?
I let my two older girls go together

OP posts:
rosyglowcondition · 14/12/2023 20:07

Yes of course that's ok. No one would attempt to kidnap 3 children from McDonald's!

kertre · 14/12/2023 20:10

Tbh I've always taken DD aged 5 in with me, but that's mainly because if I need a wee it's because we've been out of the house for a while, and by then she probably needs a wee too. I think I'd always drag her into the loo with me just to save the queueing time if she decides she needs the loo 10 mins after I've been.

Pipistrellus · 14/12/2023 20:14

another question, what age do you let kids go to the toilet on their own?

Eldest was six, my four year old uses a cubicle close to mine then meets me at the sinks.

Treesinmygarden · 14/12/2023 20:15

Absolutely not.

johnd2 · 14/12/2023 20:17

OP, you know your children best, just think about all the things that might happen and decide if they are actually likely.
The way half the posters on here carry on you'd think they wouldn't even take their kids out on a walk (stats show that if you're on a pavement it only takes 2 secs for a car to take you all out but clearly people go out for a walk all the time)

Singleandproud · 14/12/2023 20:19

Untill men were allowed in women's toilets I would have been happy for DD to use the toilet alone with me remaining at the table from the age of 8, largely as she still had to be reminded to flush and wash her hands thoroughly. Since men can go in women's toilets as they like I'd be accompanying her for far longer.

The minimum age for using appliances such as irons, toasters is 8 so it seems a reasonable age to give a little independence.

bakewellbride · 14/12/2023 20:20

I would not do this - in my area there was an attempted abduction less than 5 years ago.

johnd2 · 14/12/2023 20:26

Just to add to that perspective

"between 2005 and 2018, 548 pedestrians on pavements were killed by vehicles. That is, about 40 people a year. "
https://www.roadpeace.org/pedestrian-pavement-deaths-2/

And for stranger abductions the number is 50 a year
http://www.actionagainstabduction.org/about-abduction/stranger/

I'm not sure which people worry more about, but it's useful to put things in context

bakewellbride · 14/12/2023 20:30

@johnd2 but I have^ to use the pavements, it's an essential to me and my family. I don't need^ to leave my kids unsupervised and can take them to the toilet with me so I don't really get your point.

Blinkin · 14/12/2023 20:31

I would. Children very massively. From age 3.5 I was confident that 99.9% of the time they wouldn't bolt for the door or misbehave: I teach 10 year olds who I couldn't trust in the same way. I wouldn't leave a 3 year old to be clear, but I'm quite serious when I say they'd be more trustworthy than many older children I've known.

LyingLikeACheapCarpet · 14/12/2023 20:33

There isn't room in the cubicle for three kids so I can't see how they are safer if you drag them with you.

Yes at those ages I would leave them

daffodilandtulip · 14/12/2023 20:40

Another aspect - we've recently had guidelines at work that say we have to physically watch the children when they are eating, as a child did choke and die at a nursery while someone was turned away in the same room...

Pootle40 · 14/12/2023 20:52

bananamangoes · 14/12/2023 18:53

It's highly unlikely that a kid would be snatched from mcdonalds whilst the parent has nipped to the loo

Some people have vivid imaginations

This

HappyHealthy23 · 14/12/2023 20:53

I would leave them. I think the likelihood of someone trying to abduct one or more children from McDonald's in the middle of the day is vanishingly small.
Also the likelihood of a 5 or 6 year old child leaving their food/siblings and suddenly bolting for the door for some unexplained reason seems really very slight.

gentlemum · 14/12/2023 20:55

My children aren't yet of that age, but what I think I would do is take them with me as regardless of how much I trust my children, I don't feel I could trust other people. I think probably until they're all at least over the age of 10, if not older, I would make them come with me.

Blinkin · 14/12/2023 20:57

gentlemum · 14/12/2023 20:55

My children aren't yet of that age, but what I think I would do is take them with me as regardless of how much I trust my children, I don't feel I could trust other people. I think probably until they're all at least over the age of 10, if not older, I would make them come with me.

Once they're 10 you really need to be preparing them to walk to/from secondary school themselves. You're really going to make them come to the loo with you?

Orangello · 14/12/2023 21:01

I think probably until they're all at least over the age of 10, if not older

My 10yo son is almost adult sized. Pretty sure I would get some funny looks if I tried to drag him into a toilet cubicle with me.

WonderLife · 14/12/2023 21:06

Yes I would absolutely leave my 6 & 9 year old in that situation.

Not sure what risk people are worried about? Spontaneous stranger abduction in the middle of the day in a busy MacDonalds? Fire? Earthquake?

SpringingJoy · 14/12/2023 21:06

I would happily (but quickly) do the same.

No way would I drag 3 dc of those ages into the nearby toilet with me.

Redruby2020 · 14/12/2023 21:10

Lougle · 14/12/2023 18:40

I think what we have to remember is that to leave your children, you need to be able to justify the decision if it went wrong. There's no legal age to leave children. I don't know how you could justify leaving a 5 year old or a 6 year old in a public place with only a 8 year old to protect them from harm, if something happened. Of course, every time nothing happens it's very easy to say it was fine.

đź‘Ť

Orangello · 14/12/2023 21:14

What exactly would happen? If one of the children choked or stranger tried to drag them out, there would be people around, staff and other guests. I'm not sure what your McDos are like, but if a kid yelled 'Help my brother is choking' in mine, they would not be ignored. And 5 is not 2 who might randomly bolt out.