Daughter refuses to use preschool toilet

[Busymum909]

My daughter is 3.5 and has been toilet trained for almost 1 year. She will use any toilet, anywhere when with myself or my husband. She’s started preschool a few months ago but is absolutely terrified of using the toilets there. She’s come up with multiple excuses but the latest is they are too small. She’s a sensitive child and I know the change in environment is a big factor. Possibly the difference in toilet size, the children coming in and out, and the noise. But none of these things are within my control. I’m conscious she starts school next September and I don’t want this to be an issue. She’s been having multiple accidents whilst at preschool due to refusing to use the toilet: She never has accidents at home! The teachers have been great and so far we have tried not mentioning it at all, to subtle prompting, to just sitting on the toilet. Today I went in to show her there is nothing to be afraid of but she got hugely distressed at me trying to get her to use the toilet. She maintained she didn’t need the toilet, but needed to go as soon as we got home 10 minutes later. I don’t know what to do! Has anyone experienced this?

My DD didn't like the split seat that the little children's toilets had at her nursery. The teacher realised this and she used the full-size adult toilet with normal seat from then on. I guess the actual school toilets had normal seats, despite being small, because it was never an issue again.

Thank you for your quick reply! I’ve seen the toilets myself and they don’t have a split. They are those smaller version of adult toilets. I’m trying my best to help her but I don’t understand the issue, and she can’t really explain it to me.

@Busymum909 Currently going through the exact same thing with my daughter. She attends Nursery every morning for three hours, has had several accidents there and loads of accidents on the 15 min walk home 😩. She just holds it all morning because she doesn't want to use the Nursery toilets.
We spoke to the teacher, they tried just prompting her but that didn't work, she went into the toilet but just washed her hands and came back out 😂! They are now physically taking her to the toilet at least once during the morning, an adult goes with her and actually sits her on. I'm hoping in time this will give her the confidence to go by herself. Is this something preschool could do for your DD?

Oh I'm sorry I've just re-read and it looks like you've already tried that...

Hey! Well it makes me feel better I’m not alone! Yes they are currently taking her in and sitting her on the toilet. She initially started with mornings only and so she was just about okay to hold her wee til she got home. However she now does 2 full days and those days are proving a challenge! She has 1 or 2 accidents every time. The staff see her wiggling and jiggling when she’s desperate but she still refuses to go. I know they do try and sit her on the toilet. But so far unsuccessfully. I once took her in and she did a wee on the toilet as she was desperate (this was very tearful and stressful for her). She was buzzing about it afterwards and said she’d use them. But the same story happened, flat out refusal!!

I'm currently having this issue with my 4 year old at school. She will have a wee at school but not a poo, which is leading to accidents. I've tried to talk to her about the toilets but she just says she doesn't like them. She does spend a little while in there whilst having a poo so wonder if she feels rushed. Sorry OP that doesn't help you!

Oh mine didn't like the preschool toilets either but was fine everywhere else.

Turns out when the seat was up, thought it looked like a monster.

Was one of the u shaped seats with a gap at the front. When the seat was up, the stoppers looked like eyes and the rest of the seat its face