Newborn advice - desperate and unhappy

[SophNx]

I wondered if anyone has any advice or help they can offer. My baby girl is 5 weeks. Since 1 week old we have not had one good day or happy moment. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy but oh my gosh this is really something else.

First of all she is NEVER happy and just seems miserable 24/7. Also I know newborns cry but when awake all she does is cry. She can have a clean nappy, just woke up from a sleep and been fed and then still just cry on and off for hours. She sometimes is so inconsolable nothing I do stops her. She also can go 8/9+ hours without sleep. The most recent one she went 12 whole hours with one 20 min nap in between. Is this normal?? i try everything rocking, swinging you name it I’ve done it. She just sometimes does not want to sleep at all. I’ve read about wake windows etc there is no chance we could get her to sleep in such a short period of time.

She has a bit of reflux, sick occasionally after feeds but nothing major. She’s putting on weight. I’ve been to the GP who gave instant gaviscon and then went back again as no difference and another GP said she is just crying due to gas. We’ve changed her milk and we burp her constantly and give her gripe water. Nothing makes a difference.

Do I have a really hard work newborn and I have to just get on with it or is there something wrong. I am a FTM is it something I’m doing wrong?

my husband is really struggling too. In so much guilt his exact words to me last night was “i wish we never had her”. The worst thing is I kind of understand where he is coming from. She is an utter nightmare ( I feel so bad for saying it) but there is not one thing enjoyable about her.

Any help is appreciated.

@Mihijita
Thanks for your reply!! I’m so glad your baby is getting better. Could I ask what symptoms they showed which made your consider CMPA? X

@peachgreen
thanks for your response! Can I ask what symptoms your baby showed regarding CMPA. I’m going back to the GP next week

@RichTea63
thanks for your response! It really is so hard, I’m glad your baby is much better. Did they have Cmpa? If so what symptoms? X

She was very uncomfortable - back arching, knees up, screaming for hours on end - worse when she had to poo. Her poo had a lot of mucus. She also had a lot of difficulty with wind, and reflux. There is no test as such, just exclude it and monitor symptoms but it can take up to 6 weeks to improve completely after exclusion.
allergy uk Is helpful https://www.allergyuk.org/about-allergy/allergy-in-childhood/cows-milk-allergy/
and Facebook has lots of cmpa groups that had advice. Good luck, really hope your little one improves soon.

Delayed response on my part - sorry! 4ozs every 2 hours sounds alot to me? If you don’t mind sharing, what weight is she? Refluxy babies can often respond to the pain and discomfort in their oesophagus by desperately rooting around for feeds (as we do as adults when we have acid indigestion and reach for something to soothe our throat) and then it becomes something of a vicious cycle as the larger feeds really don’t help their cause. As a general rule (and ignore if your baby was prem or is on a specialised regime advised by a HCP) you would ordinarily be looking at 150mls of milk per kg of weight per 24 hour period. And then whatever that total is, divided by the number of bottles (so 12 if 2 hourly, 8 if 3 hourly and so on) which gives you the amount you shld be aiming for each feed. Worth revisiting milk volumes to see if that makes a difference at all.

@Puddlelane123 thanks for getting back to me. She was born 6lb 7oz and now weighed at 4 weeks and 3 days and was 7lb 11. The HV said it was no concern, I hadn’t thought of her self soothing with a bottle but that makes sense. Thanks for advice