DS 11 in a physical fight

[TooMuchCrapGoingOn]

How do i deal with this?!
Ds11 and ds9 just came home both crying. Ds11 was clenching his fists in anger/frustration and ds9 was proper howling with tears running down his cheeks.
Turns out ds11 had punched our neighbours kids. The girl once in the head, and the boy twice in the head.

We know these kids really well. The boy is 14 and the girl is 12. They're siblings and we are friendly with the whole family. The boy is obviously a teenager now and quite tall, and so is the girl. They are quite young for their age though, hence hanging out/ playing with my boys, but the 14yo is definitely the 'boss' that decides what they do when together.

Both of my dc said that the girl and the boy tripped/ pushed my 9yo to the ground and got badly winded. When my 9yo got up, he was crying and angry and put his fists up. My ds11 saw this and asked the older kids if they'd done something to his brother. When he found out whats happened he said he 'lost it' and attacked both boy and the girl and punched them both in the head. Both my dc are quite a bit shorter than these two, so he jumped and punched upwards.

I have calmed the situation down now, and ds11 understands him defending his brother went too far and he got into rage and shouldn't have punched them. Ds9 has stopped crying but was saying he has the best big brother for defending him. He seemed very schocked.

I don't approve of violence. And my ds11 is small in side, but he is strong. I don't know if the neighbours kids are ok after being punched in the head either.

How do i deal with this?! I feel these old kids should know better than push the youngest of the group to the ground and im glad my other ds defended his brother. But i aknowledge my ds went too far and they should have just left the situation and come home. Should i speak to their parents? And say what?

You go round and see the parents and see if you can all sort this out calmly. Do it now because you don't know what they are currently telling their parents. 11 is the age of criminal responsibility.

After you have dealt with the immediate issues of making sure the other kids are OK and sorting things with their parents you teach your children that violence is not the answer.

Definitely go around without your DC and say you are dismayed to hear about the DC fighting. State your 9 year old is ok but still crying after being pushed over but your 11 year old DS should not have retaliated by hitting the neighbours DC. Ask if they are ok. Tell them you will be telling your DC never to hit/push over other DC.

Absolutely go round right now x

Oh gosh .. I would'nt let them play with those children unsupervised again .
I would go and have a chat but prepare for them to be defensive

So, i called their dad, and we all met outside to sort it out. The girl was crying and she had a black eye. The boy was fine. Us grown ups gave them a lecture and made them all shake hands and apologise.
Apparently this all started as a 'roasting battle' where you insult each other with the most outrageous insults, and the cleverest wins. I think this is an american thing?! Absolutely hate it!!
My boys are smaller, but they are very into this and very witty, so im aware they might have started it.