Leaving 15 year old at home

[yetanotherdaytoday]

Is a sensible 15 year old too young to be at home alone for a night, as a one off?

DH has to take MIL to hospital 300 miles away and I need to be at work in the next town, to run an event, on a day with train strikes. My youngest can go to her friends but I don't have anywhere to send my DS.

DS is suggesting I leave him at home. I'm tempted. I was up to all sorts at his age, he's a good kid and very very sensible in comparison!

I don't drive and therefore wouldn't make it back till breakfast.

If it was a normal day at work I'd just take the day off, but the event can't run without me.

Is it madness to consider this? I'm not sure what else to do. My couple of friends who I could usually call on for favours just can't help that day.

WWYD?

Of course it will be fine.

We have a 15 and a 16 YO and DH amd I go away for a couple of nights without them regularly.

We do always ask them if they want to come, and they sometimes do, but if they don't I have no concerns about leaving them by themselves for a night or two.

Firstly, that's sexist rubbish, and secondly, how do you expect boys to develop maturity if you never give them opportunities to grow up?

A nanny until age 17? What did I just read?

To be honest, if I had a NT 15 year old who was happy to do it and I couldn't leave alone overnight I would consider that a massive parenting fail.....

Yes it’s fine. I’m sure he has a phone that can be used any time of day, along with facetime.

I would randomly facetime to check in. Honestly it’s fine, like you say we got up to much much worse as kids - I would stress to him this is a big responsibility so he almost feels as though he doesn’t want to let you down if that makes sense and therefore is sensible.

You have neighbours either side and don’t live in the middle of nowhere, honestly what could happen?

I know right! That's bonkers. If he's happy and you think he's sensible and happy to be left, then do it.

I'd leave my 15 y/o overnight with local support (good neighbours and local friends in an emergency) and my NT 18 y/o would be absolutely fine, of course but I wouldn't leave my 21y/o (asd/adhd) even though he's what's considered high functioning, because he's very accident prone, so it is very much child dependent.

This is why some 15 year olds don’t have much common sense - because they aren’t allowed to learn it as they are being completely wrapped up in cotton wall.

As someone else said, the army accept from 16 - surely that means they are capable of doing that from that age?

Bollocks

And this is why so many men are wet lettuces, Mummy mollycoddled them until they were 40, and beyond in my MIL's case if she had been allowed to!

What does a nanny actually do at that point? We don't do much other than feed our 17 year old.

I'm 76 and have done all of those things, my pans thrive on Brillo pads.

I have a sensible 15yr old son. He's been in on an evening alone but never overnight and I'm not sure I would do it even though we have family close by. I would say it's not acceptable if you don't have family close by for him to call on if he needs help and you are so far away.

If you must leave him it would be a good idea to get an indoor camera so you can keep an eye on him. I've warned my son he's to answer when I call, he's not answered and I've panicked, at least having the camera let's you see what's going on.

He's 15, a good kid, and very, very sensible. He is happy to stay home overnight alone and you are back for breakfast. You have nice neighbours on both sides, who he could go in an emergency.

I don't see the problem.

(In saying this, your employers should pay for a taxi.)

I mean, it is quite dependent on the individual child, has he just turned 15yrs, maturity level etc.

But generally speaking, I think as long as he's clear what to do in the event of an emergency (break in/house fire), and has a way to contact others (phone for 999), and keys to get out and run to the neighbour etc., then I think it's fine as a one-off.

I left home at 16yrs old and happily lived away from home, so I don't see it as that big a deal as those who say paid for a nanny to look after a 17yr old 😂

an indoor camera?? I honestly don't believe what I'm reading any more!

Just because your own parents were irresponsibke, i dont think you xan use this as justification fir something you know in your heart is wrong.

I was babysitting at 14. I am sure he will be fine.

Depends on the 15-year-old, obviously, but I was absolutely fine being left alone for a night at 15.

MN is slightly bonkers regarding leaving teenagers alone.

DS is 16, very sensible, doing his gold DoE, has participated in Sea Cadets since he was 10. Has a kayaking teaching qualification, has been abroad to visit relatives by himself, got the train from Cheshire to Cornwall (involving 3 changes) with a group of similarly aged cadets to do a week at HMS Raleigh aged 12.

DD is 15 and non NT, slightly less sensible, but I have no compunctions about leaving her by herself or with her brother for a night or two.

Of course he'll be fine!

Only on MN would people be insisting you pay for a nanny instead

Could you just let them know you’re going to be away for extra peace of mind. Sounds fine tbh OP.

The army foundation college staff are in loco parentis though

I spent 2 weeks home alone at 14 whilst my parents went on holiday abroad. I was fine. Your Son will be fine.

Have plans in place, talk through things like fire safety, what to do if he discovers a fire, get out, stay out and all that. What to do if he injures himself and who he can turn to.

Look, in this day and age with phones and facetime if he feels okay about it all then I would leave him for the night. Check in with him often, make sure he doesn't tell anyone else that he will be home alone. We had to call the police when we were at my friend's house (we were 17/18 upper sixth) and we had idiots from our school trying to break in, broke into the shed to get a ladder to upstairs windows etc. There were literally 5 girls at this house, someone clearly overheard that her parents would be out.

My youngest is 17 and I would have left either child of mine alone overnight at 15 because they are good in an crisis and know to use their phone to call for help.

No I absolutely wouldn’t do this.

I would hire a car and drive back home.