15 month old interrible 2 stage, can anyone adivse me?

[Sketchi]

My DD is having tantrums left right and centre at the moment over the most stupid little things and crying when we tell her 'no' even when we say it in the nicest possible way.

She has been at nursey p/t whilst I work since she was 5 months old and loves it. She has always shared with other children because of this. Now all of a sudden I noticed today when round a friends that she tried to take what thier DD was playing with and when she didn't get it, had a tantrum.

She has also played up at friends houses in the last 2 days, starting tantrums and being awkward, is this normal for her age? I am trying to ignore my DD, but I have always been stern as I didn't want her turning into a little brat! Please help!

is she doing it for attention?

Ignoring is one way to deal with it, but you also need to teach her what is acceptable. I.e. you need to get down to her level adn tell her 'no, we do not grab toys' etc. She is still too young to be 'punished' e.g. naughty step etc.

I think positive attention for good things is the best way to go at this age. It might be that she is trying to get your attention - some sort of separation anxiety. She is still quite young for the classic terrible twos

No I don't think she is doing it all for attention, as we're paying her attention when she starts having the tantrum. We give her plenty of attention and we don't shout at her, as she wouldn't understand. When she starts her tantrum for no reason, we smile and open our arms to her to let her know everything is ok, but she starts to cry and walk backwards, very weird and very not like her, we're sooo confused and I have another on the way in July so would like to get it nipped in the bud before then!

Hi Potpurri, we do everything you have suggested. Believe me she is told off, but is also praised when necessary.

We don't want her becoming a brat. Like all children, she is a diamond for friends who have looked after her, and the nursery think she is great, she just plays up with us.

I only work p/t and look after her everyday for 5 hours 2 x days a week. Thanks for the advice though everything will be taken on board.

Sorry I meant to say, the only times I am not with her is for 5 hours a day over 2 days a week.

my ds is 18mths now and has been like this for a while...my dd is now 4yo and was not like this. Hate to say it but I really do think it's just him - he's just showing early signs of stubborness and strong self-will.........I ignore, admonish etc but am now resigned to the fact he is just a strong personality who wants his own way....must get it from his father...Ahemmmm!

I deal with it best I can but if just throwing a paddy as opposed to causing distress or pain to another living thing I ignore it. Am hoping once he can communicate with words better the tantrums/strops/foot stamping/hitting/throwing self on floor wailing will subside........! (do struggle not to laugh sometimes though he is SO passionate about the slightest thing!)

DD does this & has for a few months (18m now) I agree with dilbertina but know that with dd sometimes the tantrums are born of frustration - her brain is outstripping her physical ability a little at the moment..

Thank you so much for your messages they have all really helped, and Pot Pourri I wasn't offended by your message in any way, you make a lot of sense. Thanks for the tip on the book, I'll think i'll buy that one (never look a gift horse in the mouth...and all that!) if it worked for you, I'll give it a go.

My DD is stubborn just like both yours and Dilbertina's. She is fruastrated, but mine actually starts to have the tantrum after you offer her what she is after....I know still can't work it out and will think of something to make with her for new arrival.

Thought she didn't know mummy was pregnant as she's too young, but have realised I have something to work towards with her. She is very independant and has a paddy even if you try and help her feed, as she doesn't want any help! I suppose I should be grateful that she is strong willed and as independant as she is at her age, not clingy and over-reliant, but I'm hoping all these strong traits will stand her in good sted when she's older......Just like her mum! My DH doesn't know what he's let himself in for as we have another DD on the way, ah bliss x

Ditto. My DS is 18 months old and I am expecting #2 in July.

He has mini-tantrums all day and he wants to be picked up all the time which is hard as he is 15kg and I am a small lady!! Do you really think they know we are expecting another baby?

I'm thinking it is frustration and am hoping that a little time and growth in speech will help him chill a bit...