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Newborn has very large stork mark - dealing with rude comments

59 replies

Colourbear · 18/11/2023 12:17

this is my very first post so I hope I have started this thread in the right area! Long post alert.

my DS2 is 4 weeks old today. He is my second (DS1 is 2.5). DS2 has a very big stork mark on his forehead - it is in a perfect V shape between his eyebrows and right up his forehead and fades into his scalp. (My delivery was rough and needed forceps at the end so he had a lot of marks and bruising on his face at first but that’s all gone and the stork mark remains). Before we were discharged from hospital the midwife checked him over and she said to me that she would make note of his stork mark on his records as it could be mistaken for abuse - fine with me. She explained to me that they are common and normally fade. DH and I are not bothered at this point because he is in perfect health so what else really matters? My DS1 had a large stork mark on the back of his neck and his is hardly noticeable now so I assumed DS2 would be the same.

fast forward to now - I can’t tell you how many horrible and rude comments and stares my baby boy has had over the last 4 weeks :( it absolutely breaks my heart for him. He is a beautiful baby with big eyes and a cute nose and squishy cheeks. He is calm and cuddly and just so loving. So it kills me when people (both family members and strangers) have made such rude comments ‘can you get that lasered off?’ ‘Are you sure that will fade?’ ‘There’s no way that will fade look at the size of it’ and the worst of all off my nana (who I haven’t spoke to since and will cut contact for this) ‘gosh he’s lovely but what an absolute shame about that birth mark’.
my heart is shattered for him. And I’m absolutely flabbergasted - I thought stork marks were common in newborns on various parts of the face/neck but you would think no one else in the world has heard of them or seen them? DS1 had a huge one on the back of his neck which was scarlet red but not one person ever commented and it was very noticeable as he had short hair! It’s at the point now where I am googling every day about stork marks and worrying that my baby is going to go through this his whole life with this birth mark. I’m now worried that because of how prominent it is it won’t fade at all. Has anyone else had experience with stork marks on the forehead? Do they ever really fade or are they permanent? It’s put me off letting people see him as I have now become so over protective of him and even though he can’t understand I don’t want these cruel things being said about him. It’s got to the point where I’ve gone from not being bothered about this birthmark to being obsessed about it. When I take pictures of him it’s the only thing I see now. Which I know is so so wrong on every level :(

OP posts:
EducatingArti · 19/11/2023 11:27

I had a really strong mark on my forehead as a baby but it faded quite quickly. You'd never guess it had been there looking at the photos of me as an older baby or child. I know it is still there as I can see it slightly when I have a hot shower but it fades again very quickly.

momonpurpose · 19/11/2023 15:15

My God OP it is absolutely vile to make those comments about your precious baby. I am furious for you

momonpurpose · 19/11/2023 15:16

I forgot to add where I live they are called strawberry marks. I had one,my sisters kids had them, my dd had one. They all faded away

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Ponderingwindow · 19/11/2023 18:16

Wanted to come back because last night I was sitting at dinner with my teenager and she was telling us about her very exciting day. As she got excited, the strawberry mark between her eyes started to appear ever so slightly. I had forgotten she was born with it. It faded so much and was such a non-issue I completely forgot she had it. I only noticed a tiny trace of it because I was sitting very close to her, the lighting was good, and she was extremely excited about her placement at a competition during the day. You could still barely see it. Most people probably wouldn’t have even noticed, but since I read this thread yesterday plus I’m her mother it caught my eye.

tldr: I forgot my own child had one of these marks on her face.

verrymerryberry · 19/11/2023 18:21

Ponderingwindow · 19/11/2023 18:16

Wanted to come back because last night I was sitting at dinner with my teenager and she was telling us about her very exciting day. As she got excited, the strawberry mark between her eyes started to appear ever so slightly. I had forgotten she was born with it. It faded so much and was such a non-issue I completely forgot she had it. I only noticed a tiny trace of it because I was sitting very close to her, the lighting was good, and she was extremely excited about her placement at a competition during the day. You could still barely see it. Most people probably wouldn’t have even noticed, but since I read this thread yesterday plus I’m her mother it caught my eye.

tldr: I forgot my own child had one of these marks on her face.

That's beautiful a lovely secret

verrymerryberry · 19/11/2023 18:25

They are simply utter dicks op.

Your away is a tiny miracle that you birthed and is a tiny perfect bundle regardless if it fades.

Next comment about it say why or I don't know and just repeat these until they get pissed off.

Or are you ok? And if they ask why - you seem a bit preoccupied with this mark. It won't really affect you so just wondered what the problem is?

verrymerryberry · 19/11/2023 18:25

Baby! I mean... baby ...

Whataretheodds · 19/11/2023 18:30

Congratulations!

Gosh I'm sorry people have been so rude. And strangers too! I'd definitely hope to be quick enough to go with "wow what a rude thing to say! I hope noone has to hear it again. " Big smile, change the subject.

But easier said than done - don't beat yourself up if it gets to you.

Maray1967 · 19/11/2023 20:30

Hiddendoor · 18/11/2023 12:43

To add, my FIL referred to DS birthmark as "the deformity" which hugely upset me. I told him bluntly that DS was beautiful and no, it wouldn't be "cut off" and fixed him with such a filthy look he never mentioned it to me again.

Well done. This is exactly how I would have responded - straight back hard to shut them up.

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