4y controlling behaviour

[villet]

Hi my Dd screams at her brother if he eats his food a certain way
or if he gets in the car first
she thinks everything is a competition
she shouts at me in morning from her bed for me to go to her but she won’t come to me
she obsesses about her friends at nursery and wants them invited over I’m not sure they talk about her as much
she talks a lot about other kids that didn’t let her play the character she wanted in role playing games

she’s verbal and has good intuition

it’s not every day but it’s happened many times . The HV said she is too young for autism Referal

she screams at shop for toy magazine and won’t let go of it

It doesn’t scream autism to me, more just general 4yr old behaviour?

Agree with PP. Unless there is further context of some red flag development issues alongside these behaviours, none of them are unusual for a 4 year old. It's not too early for an autism referral at all, but your HV is trying not to dismiss your concerns and instead allowing time to demonstrate these are all things that she'll grow out of.