Will I regret leaving my career job to be SAHM/ casual work.

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I have been a working mum best part of a decade. My husband and I have 3 kids 9.5, 6 and 2. We are now in a position where financially we can afford for me to not work/ work casually.

I’m 99% sure I’m going to leave my part time teaching job at end of this year to supply a little bit and mainly be SAHM.

I'm excited by this prospect. We’re thinly stretched. Husband works away a lot, long hours. He’s training to be a surgeon and not a consultant yet so has to work all over. I do all dropping off/ picking up/ hobbies/ everything for kids.

I like being with our kids. There are not enough hours in day. Teaching I love but generates jobs on daily basis that I can’t do on just my working days. Always struggling to keep up. I hate how much paperwork is involved these days.

I plan to supply casually for a few years (we don’t NEED the money but would like it and want to keep CV active) would be happy with 1 day a week on average.

Anybody done similar and regretted it?! Enjoyed it?! Will I look back?!

We desperately need some balance. Feel like we’re dragging the kids up rather than bringing them up at mo. They’re always ill and we’re all run down and tired. This will fix it, I know.

Should I?! No brainier?!

I definitely would. You can always go back full-time when the kids are older.

Thanks, that’s what I figured, especially if I do a little in meantime so I’m not too rusty. Insane amount of extras in education right now so it’s a shame. If I was just able to do a couple of 10 hour days and occasional extras it would be ok. But 2 teaching days it’s a 25+ hour week on a good week at mo but I don’t have the extra 5+ hours outside of my work days 🙈. That’s just to stay afloat too, not have everything ticked off and super organised!

Yes I would say definitely go for it, I work in healthcare and went on the bank for 5 years, was the best thing I could have done. Improved my mental health no end and was able to start enjoying motherhood again, not to mention the benefits for my children, our marriage and my husband’s career (which as we are a team benefits us all and he has equally supported whatever have wanted to do) I’m now back in a contracted position 2 days a week which gives me the best of both worlds and on the same pay as if I hadn’t had any time out.

Pension?

YANBU at all. YOLO. Do what you want 🙌🏻🙌🏻

Do it 100%. I did and not a moment's regret.

You’re always going to be able to get back into teaching if you are good. In my experience it has been very common for women to take career breaks, come back and be SLT in a couple of years.

it’s not really something I would be worrying about in your (well, our) industry.

i ran for the hills when I had kids and have no regrets

Its got to be a big benefit to teaching that you can do this. So many careers you're stuffed and you have to take a massive career hit.

Sounds sensible given your DHs occupation and the fact that you are keeping up supply work so can get the money when you need it without the stress.

Your children are still very young and as you say your husband is away a lot. I'd definitely consider taking a career break and look at supply maybe 1 day a week, maybe 2 if he's around that week. Schools are crying out for decent supply teachers and you pitch up, teach and go home.
Win, win while keeping your hand in.

I wouldn't. The divorce rate among surgeons is one of the highest for all medical professions. You might think it will never happen to you. But why make yourself financially vulnerable?

I mean…..I left teaching the earliest I could when pregnant. Which was September and baby was due December. 😂 (honestly the best few months watching Hallmark autumn and Christmas films and doing lots of crafting and charity/community stuff)
I do not regret it at all.

I understand keeping your CV going.
That doesn’t need to be paid work.
I volunteer a lot.

I also had a job for a while, a few hours each week, remote, but I found it too much with the kids at home due to the nature.

I went freelance and it's been the absolute best for our family. Financially more stretched but emotionally more balanced for all of us. There's such freedom in being able to set your hours around the kids. One unexpected benefit is that we all eat home cooked meals together because I actually have the time to make dinner by 6pm. Another is having the time to bring the kids to after school activities rather than rely on the "bundled together in the church hall" type of after school care provided by our school. Another is not having someone hounding you for a meeting when you really just want to take the toddler to the park. Another is if a child is sick or has a 6 week holiday you're not desperately trying to piece together childcare. The small benefits add up to a harmonious family life for us, and more than make up for the instability of freelancing 😅 Of course, the downside is I'm working most evenings and weekends to make up the time, but that doesn't apply to you so, no downsides!

I'm a sahm and dh is medical. Being a sahm is tough but I love it. Do it!

Does your financial calculation include you paying the equivalent of your current teacher's pension, including employer contribution, into a private pension?

What kind of teacher are you? I’m secondary and I’ve gone on supply this year (because I was scared of hitting a tree with my car if I didn’t!)
However I’m really not enjoying it all that much, kids are incredibly rude to supply staff and perm staff aren’t much nicer either. I am getting tons of work and having to turn stuff down a lot.

I did a day in a primary school recently and while nerve wracking it was a delight. I believe there’s less work available but it was a really lovely day.

The flexibility is really good, I switch off as soon as I leave, but I am worn out fighting fires all day!

The only problem is in the event if you splitting up that you leave yourself financially vulnerable. However , you can take steps to prevent this. Luckily, provide you keep up the necessary qualifications, it is a career you can return if necessary. When your DH qualifies, he will obviously be on a much higher salary too. Just a simple calculation of child care fees saved will show you what a great opportunity you have now. You won't regret it .

I did it in way les cut and dry circumstances than you, and have never regretted it at all. I can’t believe I would have missed these years.

That said, my marriage is very stable, we are financially comfortable, and I have always had an identity and purpose outside of work.

Absolutely would. I can't actually think of any reasons why you wouldn't.

You have 3 children and I can understand your excitement at being able to stay at home. You have to think ahead, you’re a PT teacher and from what you’ve said in your post are happy to support your husbands career. It can be VERY difficult to get a full time Consultant position.

You will get many people replying to how great it is to be a SAHM and it is to a point. Who will pay your pension contributions? You NEED a pension pot and I know this is probably something you’re not thinking about right now but it’s important. If a split was to happen between you and your DH you won’t be left with much without a pension pot.

For clarity my DH is a vet. I kept my career although I know some women don’t. I built a pension pot and I can happily support myself if need be. Please don’t be one of these women who gives everything up to let your DH follow his career.

Do you and will you have complete access to all the money? I'd want that as a bare minimum.
And as said already, the divorce rate is high - mainly because the infidelity rate is also high - those are just the ones who get caught. If that would be a deal breaker I would think carefully about how quickly and easily you could access the savings and get back into a career if needs be

I think it’s easier if you’re a professional as you can usually slot back in at the same level.

I stopped work when mine were babies and then did 2 days per week until the youngest was about 12. I then went FT and it has not damaged my career trajectory at all. Kept paying into a private pension throughout although I have a really good company one.

Kal41 You’re right it is the mental load/ health. Mental load of carrying a never ending ‘to do’ work and home list around in your head and no time to do it is pretty unfulfilling!! One or other I can cope fine! 🤣

I think the knitted character has it right. It definitely helps being of certain professions. As long as you're also paying into your pension, do it!

I think if you've got access to savings or have your own significiant assets then go for it, but don't leave yourself financially vulnerable and be relying only on him. Your very good teachers pension would take a hit, of course - but could you pay into a private one?

I've also read that the divorce rate amongst surgeons and their spouses is high.

You’d be crazy.