Will I regret leaving my career job to be SAHM/ casual work.

[thinlystretched]

I have been a working mum best part of a decade. My husband and I have 3 kids 9.5, 6 and 2. We are now in a position where financially we can afford for me to not work/ work casually.

I’m 99% sure I’m going to leave my part time teaching job at end of this year to supply a little bit and mainly be SAHM.

I'm excited by this prospect. We’re thinly stretched. Husband works away a lot, long hours. He’s training to be a surgeon and not a consultant yet so has to work all over. I do all dropping off/ picking up/ hobbies/ everything for kids.

I like being with our kids. There are not enough hours in day. Teaching I love but generates jobs on daily basis that I can’t do on just my working days. Always struggling to keep up. I hate how much paperwork is involved these days.

I plan to supply casually for a few years (we don’t NEED the money but would like it and want to keep CV active) would be happy with 1 day a week on average.

Anybody done similar and regretted it?! Enjoyed it?! Will I look back?!

We desperately need some balance. Feel like we’re dragging the kids up rather than bringing them up at mo. They’re always ill and we’re all run down and tired. This will fix it, I know.

Should I?! No brainier?!

My 3 DC are now adults. I did this and look back on it with great satisfaction. I enjoyed FT parenting and had no trouble getting back into the job scene when they were all at school. My OH was also medical and dashing hither and thither to get all the necessary post-grad qualifications. It worked well for us as there was one adult in the home who could keep things together and was not rushing about all the time - OH did not have to add in all the things that keep things ticking along on top of his mad work schedule.

I was happy to do that for a while. The children gained from it - so did OH - and so did I. They were happy years.

Sounds like a good idea, although all those supply days I would put into a pension.

thinlystretched
I could have written your post a few years ago.

I left teaching and have no regrets whatsoever.
It's changed beyond all recognition for me and I didn't want to stay and endorse those changes.

I now work as a home tutor a few hours a week and couldn't be happier. I get to teach but it's on my own terms.

DH also works in the medical profession. I'm a much happier person now and Iess stressed around the DCs.

Good luck to you!

I

How does her husband look at reducing to 4 days when he is training to be a surgeon?

I get what you are saying, and for two people
established in their careers with wage parity- absolutely both mother and father should aim for an equal split as to give them the best possible chance of career advancement and a family life.

but this isn’t that situation.

If bad things happen- OP is in a position to get another job. A full time job.

swapping from part time permanent to part time supply not throwing herself out of the workforce and on the scrapheap forever. She’s actually in a marvellous situation if she wants a greater WL balance with great prospects.

I am sorry you lost your husband x

By doing supply work your keeping your foot In the door so I would go for it!

Teaching is one of those careers where they will bite your hand off to have you again even after a considerable break so go for it. In other sectors even time off for a holiday can make you seem less committed but teaching? it'll always welcome you back.

Ex NDN/friend left teaching to be SAHM. She’s not regretted it as such but I think she’s finding it hard now circumstances have changed and she’s moved abroad.

@babbygabby I mean, sure. Unfortunately in his industry the choice is long hours but paid more, or long hours and paid less 🤦‍♀️ Believe me, we've explored other options and decided that paying the bills was quite important! There's so much to weigh up in having a family isn't there, and sometimes both parents need to make sacrifices. Thank you for your concern x

Re the state pension:
You should get National Insurance credits for your state pension by claiming child benefit if you children are young - even if your partner has to pay it back due to his high earnings.

You might be able to claim the credits without taking the money (to avoid having to pay it back from partner's wages). Seek advice on this and make sure you are getting the credits if you stop work.

@PollyPeep I didn’t mean to touch a nerve! I didn’t respond to a post about paying bills because that isn’t how you framed it.
You talked about your husbands sacrifice so you could have “freedom”. I do think that’s sad 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m not sure this is as billed. You only work 2 days a week and want to to go to one. And had already made your mind up and were excited about it. Why pretend, just go for it.

@babbygabby I wasn't upset, it's ok! It was more a comment on the realities of life.

My original comment was actually in response to someone who said that it's always the woman who is making the sacrifice by leaving a full time job to do more childcare. I don't think it's so clear cut. My husband is making sacrifices for the wellbeing of our family, as we all do as parents. He benefits from me having a flexible job that fits around childcare, just as I benefit from him having a stable job that pays the bills. It works for us. I said he didn't particularly like his job - he doesn't hate it, that would be a different conversation!

With teaching I absolutely would do that. With other professions it can be hard to get back into a related field later on, but teaching gives you so many options. Supply teaching some of the time will maintain your skills, and it will give you time and flexibility while you need it the most.

All good @PollyPeep

Go for it! You could always find another job if it doesn't work out

@HouseChainDrama but I’m only going from a contracted job to a non contracted job with same rate of pay. So I’m not sacrificing the ability to feed and house myself. I I do 2 days a week supply then I’ll earn the same as I do now for 2 days a week.

If I was ever to find myself on my own (not in the plans but accept anything can happen) I’d need a fixed job to get a mortgage, but my earnings from supply won’t be lower than now if I do same no of days if I want to. Possibly higher as I wouldn’t want to take on more contacted hours as I don’t have capacity to do the extra at home. Whereas working 3 or 4 supply days a week in the future if I want to Is no strings attached. Leave 20 mins after the kids with no jobs to take home. Much more manageable. Lots of supply around as there’s a teacher shortage. People fleeing the profession in large numbers sadly.

if I said I was on £100k and thinking of stopping that would be relevant advice. But I don’t see how going from £16k per annum changes things too much when you can earn that by doing same number of supply days.

If it is what you want then absolutely go for it
It would not be for me,could not have my career/financial independence,my mother would kill me 🤣

I was about to say no, don't leave your job and leave yourself financially vulnerable if anything happened to your DH or your marriage. I work in recruitment and employers often take a dim view of a big gap in work history.

But then I saw you're a teacher so you'll have no problem picking up extra work or a CV permanent role if you need to in the future.

Go for it!!

What's the pension position as supply?

@Aurasauras I think I’m just too busy to enjoy life at the moment. Totally think it will allow the whole family to have better mental health.

With DH shifts and long hours I’m a prisoner in my own house most evenings/ lots of weekend evenings as can’t just pop out when no other adults there obviously! I will defo enjoy being able to pop to gym or something nice for me once or twice a week when youngest is at nursery for a few hours. Need it so badly after a decade of this lifestyle and will defo make me happier.

At moment my 2yr old is at nursery on my work days so I get no time. I can send him to a couple of shorter sessions a week so he’s still ready for school but actually have that time for me/ house stuff in peace!!

Hope your daughter continues to do so well x

your mother should be more worried about your comprehension skills- she’s not giving up any of those things…

@PollyPeep i agree, it’s sad life is only valued in monetary terms for some people. I absolutely wouldn’t want to swap with my husband and be the bread winner whilst he stayed home! I’d be sad not to be the one spending more time with the kids. He loves our kids and is a great dad when he’s there but has never expressed any wish to stay home, he does love his career on a different level to how I enjoy mine. I’m grateful we have opposite views on this so we match up! X

@Tisfortired hope you’re enjoying being able to focus on family life with one less ball to juggle! Sounds a good plan, you’re doing it at a good time with baby. My youngest will be 3.5 when I finish in the summer. It’s first time we’ve been able to afford it as husband gets last pay increment on his scale in the new year and it’s a decent one. Wish my youngest was still a baby for it so I could have the last couple of years back! Hope all works out well x

@BaconAndAvocado when do you home tutor? Evenings and weekends? I was wondering if there was any market out there with home schooled kids that could be taught in school day hour here and there. Have you come across any? Evenings and weekends is tricky for me but like the idea of tutoring. Also I’ve done exam marking before , y6 SATS, which I could do again. Quite a lot of work but a short burst and got about £1200 last time. Cannot remember how many hours I did for that mind so bit irrelevant! Was 5 years ago. Any other tips of teaching related jobs that are casual/ from home? I’m a primary teacher. Thank you

thinlystretched
I’m also primary.
I live in Kent where children can sit the Kent Test in Year 6 to gain entry to a grammar school in Year 7.
I tutor Year 5 children weekdays 4-6ish.
When I was last working in a school I was also working 2 days and I can make the same amount tutoring without any of the hassle!
I haven’t looked into tutoring home-schooled children but I’m sure there is a market for that too.