what do you think if 10 years old girl and 8 years old boy get the bus and go home after school?

[kamanmama]

Hi All, my children are 10 years old and 8 years old. Every day I finish my part time work at 12:30, and wait their school to finish until 3:15. My girl is year 6 now, so she can off school by herself and pick up her brother in year 4 as well. everyday I just wait them in bus stop at 3:30. I wait outside 3 hours everyday after finish my part time job. if I back home and come back to their school, it take 1hour and half. That’s why I wait outside. Recently, I see many year 6 students, they take the bus by themselves. I just think can I do the same? I will give my girl a mobile, ask her to call me when they nearly get off the bus, and will pick them up at the bus stop at my home town. Is it sounds alright? Is do so, do I need to prepare anything for them? Like zip oyster card? Or they can just get in the bus by themselves?

You need to speak to the school as different schools have different policies on how a child can travel home and if they can be responsible for a younger sibling. Once you have their answer you can work from there.

Are there any parents from the school using the same bus with their children who would be happy to watch yours until you pick them up from the bus stop, either from kindness or for a small childminding fee? In those three hours you could get so much done! Are the school looking for any additional help. You may be able to pick up a little work for the time you are waiting. Or as others have said, volunteer to help. Teachers in our area are always so thankful for any extra help. Even if you did it a couple of days you may be able to find a parent in a similar situation and share bus duty with them?

At our primary they would not have let the yr4 out without a parent . However there was a family who tried to get after school care and they just couldn’t find anyone . Eventually the school did let the boy go . I used to see him walking home alone and was quite worried about him . He’s now a teen and never came to any harm . It only needed the wrong person though to be aware of his movements

Volunteering at school would be a good way to fill that time if you can't find a way around it.
It all depends on the maturity of your 10 year old and the sibling dynamic.
Have you noticed any other parents that do the same route, get talking and maybe you could alternate the days you pick up kids? I'm sure they'd appreciate it too if it's a bus ride for them aswell. Good luck !

In my home country kids often do from an early age, like 6 onwards, I did in the UK at 10 and my now 10-year old son could, but in this country no, not an 8 year old and I couldn't expect a 10 year old to be responsible for an 8 year old here. Back home, no problems. Here, no.

I wouldn’t do it personally. I would worry about strangers, traffic safety, the 10year old deciding they would rather be with friends etc etc.

I’m actually quite surprised by the responses on this thread. Usually mn is aghast at year sixes travelling home alone, even a short distance, let alone catching a bus and being responsible for a younger sibling.

Your kids may be fine but i'd be reluctant to put the responsibility of the younger child on the 10 year old.

3 hours is a long time if there isn't anything you need to be home for in that time could you find something to do in that time - running, volunteering, hobby - 15 hours a week is a lot of time you could give to something

Jesus H Christ NO! Do NOT do this they are wayyyyyyyyyyy too young. Times are very different to how they were when we were young!

It would feel more constructive and keep you out of the cold

That's why there are more cases of abduction per square mile in Scotland than per square mile in England!

I understand that 3 hours is a long wait but personally no I wouldn't want my 10 and 8 year old doing this (sorry!) but maybe I am overprotective. My 11 year old gets a bus to school sometimes and there have recently been incidents of flashing from men when they get off at the school end. Also an incident of a man harrasing a child verbally. This is in a medium sized town. So I have started driving her most days. Thankfully we hadn't already paid for a bus pass. There is no way my 8 year old could cope with it (yet). If they were 11 and 13 then it would be OK with it. Of course giving them a phone and checking with school if someone is present at the bus stop would help matters.

But if not...the other thing is...you have 3 hours. I would use that time. Can you exercise / walk? Shop? Read? Learn? Speak to family and friends? I am lucky to live somewhere nice to walk but i see parents park up everyday outside school and sit for an hour in the car (so they get a space) and I always think why not park and then walk, listen to a podcast, learn a new language etc. Whatever you want. When I wait at school I work on my laptop or I meal plan or I walk. Perhaps there are things that could fill your time perhaps so you don't feel frustrated waiting?

Or yes volunteer in the school, they are generally crying out for help!

You know your kids best. It's great for kids to start getting themselves about and Y6 is not too young for this.

I think, like the others, that the school won’t allow your younger child to be picked up by your year 6 child, when my kids were that age, it had to be someone over 18
why don’t you ask at the school if they need any more lunchtime supervisors , you could work there from 12:30? Or ask if you could do some volunteer work in the school, the DBS check is free for volunteers. Once they get to know you they may offer you a job? Training?
Just a thought!

But if not...the other thing is...you have 3 hours. I would use that time. Can you exercise / walk? Shop? Read? Learn? Speak to family and friends?

@cherrytreehouse i think you’ve never had to do that yourself everyday.
3 hours just ‘waiting’ is a very long time to fill. You certainly won’t fill those 3 hours 4 times a day Bu ‘speaking to friends and family’ who’ll probably be working themselves.

Because times are completely different! Even just the fact that the population has increased so much.

Some people say "Oh the percentage of predators is the same, we just hear about them more these days" but the internet has made it so much easier for potential predators ie: people who would previously have never dreamt of acting upon their desires, to actually be tempted into becoming real, genuine predators. The dark web and the easy sharing of indecent images etc.
These predators rely on the type of parents who think/say "Kids are babied too much these days" and then have their primary school kid walking home from school in the dark in winter.....because that's what they did when they were a kid" 🤦🏼‍♀️ Fucking terrifying and borders on neglect in my personal opinion.

You cannot say that society is anything like^^ how it was in the 80s & 90s! Because it just isn't! Not even slightly. I SO wish it was. As a parent but also as someone who remembers the quieter, simpler times of the 80s & 90s (& early 2000s tbh) with fondness.

Personally, I wouldn’t but you know your children, I don’t. But please don’t tell your girl that she’s responsible for her brother. Too much at 10.

My 11 year old gets a bus to school sometimes and there have recently been incidents of flashing from men when they get off at the school end. Also an incident of a man harrasing a child verbally

Case. In. Point.

Check if the school will actually let a year 6 child take a year 4 child home. In every school I've worked in we were only allowed to send children home with someone 14 and above.

I have a yr7 and Yr 4, 11 and 8 yo. Would be perfectly happy with the bigger one doing it, not the 8yo. I let her go over to the park with him now, but wouldn't have her do public transport 'alone' with him. School wouldn't allow him to pick her up anyway here.

Thanks everyone here. Yes, you are right. I can’t drive. Driving lesson is expensive, I will take the lesson in the future, need to save some money for that. Now, I keep practice with them, pretend we don’t know each other. They are in the beginning of line for the bus, I was in the back of line. So that they get in the bus themselves, I found a seat in the bus that I could see them. All the way in journey on their own. The bus journey takes 20-30mins depends on the road situation. I will keep practice for a week and see how they go.
The bus takes 20-30 mins, then another 15mins from my home to bus stop. That’s why if I get home from work and back, it takes me almost one and half hour. If they do really well, I will give my girl a mobile with her, and wait them in bus stop at my home town.

@DawsonWins well actually if you read OP’s post it’s 2hrs 45mins. Not sure where you’ve got 4 hours from but maybe you are including the journey too. I agree it would be frustrating because it’s a large chunk of every day.

I actually do do it myself but I admit it’s only an hour I wait and like I say I do fill my time pretty well so I don’t mind. It’s not going to be forever, my children still need me and I’m ok with that but I can work etc so it’s not wasted time and I have a car to sit in so I’m not cold etc and if I agree it’s different on foot. I do wish I felt totally safe with my DD coming home alone but so far I don’t because like I say flashing is going on and she’s too young to cope with that and no way would I expect her to have her younger DC with her too despite both being sensible. I appreciate it’s really difficult because really we all want it to be safe for our kids to be independent. I got the bus no problem at 11 myself but that was 30 years ago in a remote, quiet area. In a large ish town on the edge of a massive city I think I would have been scared sometimes.

A 10 year old can't be responsible for an 8 year old and the 8 year old is too young. You cannot predict what could go wrong - and them doing it while they know you're around isn't the same at all. Everything might be fine while you happen to be around but what if something goes wrong one day when you're not there? You will be responsible if anything goes wrong.

Just seen your update OP about testing it out a week or two - that’s a good idea!