what do you think if 10 years old girl and 8 years old boy get the bus and go home after school?

[kamanmama]

Hi All, my children are 10 years old and 8 years old. Every day I finish my part time work at 12:30, and wait their school to finish until 3:15. My girl is year 6 now, so she can off school by herself and pick up her brother in year 4 as well. everyday I just wait them in bus stop at 3:30. I wait outside 3 hours everyday after finish my part time job. if I back home and come back to their school, it take 1hour and half. That’s why I wait outside. Recently, I see many year 6 students, they take the bus by themselves. I just think can I do the same? I will give my girl a mobile, ask her to call me when they nearly get off the bus, and will pick them up at the bus stop at my home town. Is it sounds alright? Is do so, do I need to prepare anything for them? Like zip oyster card? Or they can just get in the bus by themselves?

I’m in London and my DC’s primary encouraged year sixes to go to and return from school by themselves, including taking a bus where necessary. Certainly my DC would travel by bus alone in year 6. I’m just not sure if school would allow the younger one to do it.

The time you spend seems so long, would it work better to move the children to another school closer to home. Even if this worked for now, presume in September the older child loves to a high school so won’t be there to collect the younger and you are back to square one.
I would consider moving the younger child to
a school closer to home and letting the older one use the bus alone - moving to a high school nearer home in September.
Alternatively consider moving home.
Hope you work something out as hate to think of you spending your time waiting in cold days to come x

Maybe Offer to volunteer at the school for the hours in-between if you can't get more hours at work , at least then you'll be indoors during the winter not out in the cold.

Not a problem for the year 6 child. No schools around here would let an 8-year old leave school either alone or with anyone under the age of 16, including siblings.

In Scotland this would be normal. Siblings of that age are allowed to walk younger siblings home. A few take the bus, but not many due to most living within walking distance.

TBH I think they’d be fine. Nobody would have turned a hair a few decades ago. Children are babied far too much nowadays IMO.

I think it's fine. They know how to contact you in an emergency. There are other people travelling the same route that they know.

You know them best and if you think it's safe, your decision goes. The school cannot have rules about how children travel to and from school. They are only in loco parentis during school hours. You may need to send them a letter to say that you give permission for your 8yo to travel home with your 10yo. If school staff thought you were making an extremely dangerous decision then they could call Social Care, but in a case like this I think the social workers would tell them not to be ridiculous - it's very far from meeting their threshold for intervention!

If you talk to people from different countries, or even different areas of the UK, you'll notice that "the done thing" varies hugely according to where you are. Everyone thinks that what happens in their own area must be logical, but really we are just conditioned to think it is right because it's what we are used to. So actually I think the main problem you will have is that others in your area may give you a hard time if your arrangement is not usual in your area. That doesn't mean you're wrong.

When my 10yo started at a small village school in a rich area, the other parents were horrified that I drove in, dropped her on the far side of the village and left her to walk across the village green and cross two small lanes without me, in the company of many other parents and children. People offered to "take charge" of her and make sure she stayed right with them, and tried to tell her she must wait at each lane for an adult to assess when it was safe to cross. The headteacher didn't want to release her to make that return journey without a designated adult, and only relented when I pointed out that he had no responsibility for her once school was over, I had made my arrangements clear in writing, and I would not be collecting her. The other kids in her class thought she was lying when she mentioned that she had been roaming our medium-sized city on the bus alone and crossing busy roads since she was eight. It was just not what they were used to.

My school would not allow a ten year old to collect an 8 year old. It’s a reasonable expectation of a ten year old but not if you’re making her babysit an 8 year old at the same time.

Our school will allow a year 6 to leave by themselves but doesn't want anyone under the age of 14 to collect someone younger.

I don't understand how it is a 20 minute ride on the bus, but would take you 90 minutes in the car to go both ways?

I think its fine for 2 children to get the bus to and fro school, armed with a phone if the bus doesn't turn up then they can call you.

In my school kids from y4 onwards can leave and arrive by themselves if parents fill out a form.

on the other hand, the community centre playscheme - it's from 8 yo, under 8 has to be an over 16 to collect

the y6 child definitely yes, the y4, all depends on the child if they are responsible.

My two have gone to the shops alone, but wouldn't trust the younger with public transport yet

I think it's fine. From the age of 7 I was put on the train - 20 minutes. Admittedly collected by the school bus at the other end. Once I had my hat nicked! DS caught the public bus home from school from age 10 - in London. He was allowed to leave his blazer at school and wear a coat home.

Both DH and I were put on trains to London (him from Yorkshire, me from the South Coast) from the age of 7 to visit our grandparents in London. The guard or steward were given a couple of Bob to keep an eye.

The potential issue is when Yr current t year sixer goes to secondary next year and the younger child has to come home alone. Although I think they could.

Could you ask a local parent to keep an eye on them in a watchful way and their nominated safe person. Surely people.would help out.

Not directing at you especially, but there have been many posts like yours

Don't people realise many people in London don't have or need a car?

The OP mentions Oyster / Zip card so I am assuming London.

Parking and stuff means cars are expensive and difficult.

A 20 minute bus journey isn't that far for a school in London, i know plenty who do that

No way should an 8-yr old be released from school to the care of a 10-yr old!!

I wouldn't be comfortable with this, if it was just a short walk home maybe, but having to take the bus means it's a longer journey and more uncertainty. If it was just the Year 6 I would, but having the younger one would make me think twice. Would the school allow it? Ours will only allow Year 6s to go home alone.

I've had to kill time in London for various reasons and have always managed to find things to do though. With a book and my phone and a spare charger I can easily pass keep myself occupied for 3 hours. Libraries, museums, parks, shopping centres, art galleries, even some community centres and event venues are open to all as a "warm space". Check the local council for "warm spaces". If you are willing to post the area someone might be able to suggest something.

I’d do something near the school in that time, exercise class, go for a run etc. I wouldn’t let them travel home on bus etc in that time.

I used to get the bus to school in Yorkshire, with a group of other, unrelated, children, and no one thought anything of it. It was my first school, I was in Reception, about 4 miles away from home, and I was just 4 years old. I did that for two years until we moved to Devon. There I got the bus to school alone, aged 6, and even came home for lunch as they had long lunch times, so did the journey twice a day. Admittedly though on the outskirts of Plymouth it was still quite rural, but I was pretty sensible, was well briefed, and just thought it was normal. We had no car, no phone, so no choice. If the younger one is fairly sensible, and it’s a fairly safe area, they should be fine, especially these days with mobile phones.

If it’s getting an issue after eg a year then maybe look at schools closer to home but as @gertuu says there are lots of free spaces which are warm spaces.

I'm actually really shocked at how many people think this is ok. A 10 year old cannot possibly be expected to be responsible for an 8 year old!! The 10 year old on their own, if they are sensible for their age and have been doing this route a long time, then yes. But throw a younger sibling in the mix and there's no way I'd be comfortable with this and if I saw 2 young kids that age on the bus travelling alone, especially in a huge busy city like London, I would be pretty concerned for their welfare. I don't drive so take public transport most places and let me tell you, those places aren't safe for adults sometimes, let alone kids that young. I also highly doubt the school would even allow the 10 year old to pick up the younger sibling. I know at my kids school and all other schools in our area, the youngest a child can be to pick up their younger sibling is high school age, so 11/12+.

I know it was the norm in the 80s and 90s when most of of us were growing up, but it is a very different world now and we are all so much more aware of the risks.

I'm sorry you're in this annoying situation, I understand how frustrating it must be. Have you the funds to get a taxi or anyone to give you a lift at least some of the days so you're not waiting around that long every day? Could you use the time to exercise or do other errands so you're not just sat outside waiting? Could you volunteer at the kids school or perhaps get a couple hours work at shop or similar near by the school?

If they are both sensible, this sounds fine. Waiting 3 hours is silly and a waste of your time.
I would do the journey with them first a few times to get them used to it.

It’s probably too expensive for OP to take several buses , she probably has to walk to save money , hence how long it all takes her

I wouldn't but think you need to find something to do between finishing work and pick up.

Our school wouldn't let the 10 year old take the 8 year old and personally I agree with them. I don't believe a 10 year old should be responsible for a younger child

Your timings don't make much sense. It takes you 20-30 min to get home from work regardless of whether you are collecting your children or not. You say you're happy to collect one day each week; if it takes the kids 20-30 min then it's 40-60 min round trip for you too. If you can't be bothered then the kids will probably be fine, but I'd tell them to sit or stand downstairs to avoid trouble on the bus, even in nice parts of London you'll get teenagers being silly on the top of a bus from time to time and that might frighten both. I wouldn't do it if your two bicker or fight though, that would be awful for the little one.

I think you need to find something else to do during the waiting time.
A library, shopping, crochet, any number of hobbies.
that you can do so you're not waiting around so long.

I wouldn't let a 10yo look after an 8yo.