8 year old DS2 is a nightmare.
He's autistic. So am I.
But... that's not the issue. The issue is he's started misbehaving since being in contact with his dad again (I previously cut contact due to paternal abuse but the courts have decided I must send the youngest 2 children to contact with him including overnights)
His dad favours DS2 over DS1 and DD and makes this blatantly obvious, to the point of buying DS2 things and not the others. DS1 is 14 and refuses to see him. DD is only 9 and is forced to see him by the courts despite not wanting to.
DS2 adores his dad despite the abuse and the fact his dad threatened him with a knife.
DS2 gets away with murder with his dad. He can do no wrong. The teacher spoke to dad on Monday (regular collection day for dad as he has them for tea) and later contacted me via the app they use to let me know DS2 had been misbehaving, distracting the other children, sticking his fingers in his ears and refusing to listen and throwing things around the classroom. What did dad do? Bought him sweets. So I was the one to speak with DS2 and let him know his behaviour was unacceptable, and remove his electronics. But it fell on deaf ears as he'd already played the xbox at his dad's house.
Amd that's just 1 incident. He's had 4 incidents this week and almost got banned from a freaking choir because he's been so disruptive.
He's already in therapy, and the therapist has spoken to dad and said he needs to back me up with discipline. He just won't. He doesn't care if DS2 is naughty as he sees it as not his problem
So I'm left to deal with it. I sent him to bed early after a particularly rough day yesterday (and frankly I needed the break from him) and he proceeded to wet the bed. This is purely behavioural and not medical as confirmed by GP as he's been dry at night since he was 3 and only started doing this recently and only when he's in trouble.
He shares a room with DS1 and DS1 is fuming that he can no longer bring friends round in case his brother decides to act up. He can't have a TV in his room or a games console as DS2 will trash it on him, like he trashed the millennium falcon lego set DS1 had spent hours building, because I'd sent him to his room for hitting his sister.
It's so frustrating. I'm at the end of my tether and feel like I'm ready to have a total meltdown. And I KNOW he's autistic, BUT he never behaved like this when not in touch with his dad. And quite frankly autism isn't an excuse for downright bad behaviour.
I'm sick to death of it. Dad doesn't listen of I speak to him, he says he'll sort it if I email then does precisely fuck all. I'm fighting a losing battle.
I'm just so frustrated and needed somewhere to get this out.