How do you afford to be a SAHM?

[rhaenyra01]

As it says in the subject- I’m curious about how some people afford to be SAHMs? Does it depend on your partner’s income? Or do you just have to really cut down on spending?

No judgement, I am just interested - about to go back to work after maternity leave and really wishing I could stay at home with my DD but unfortunately it’s not financially viable for DH and I.

DH has a decent salary. We also hardly ever eat out, I cut my own hair (and trim the DCs' when they need it), we go on cheap holidays, and generally don't spend a lot on things we don't need.

Our biggest monthly outgoing is food.

Also I WFH or cycle to office, and take lunch, so apart from childcare, it doesn't "cost" me anything to work. Plus I work at a university so have very generous pension.

I've recently gone back to work now that my two are both in school. I am really enjoying the extra money and think less about buying treats etc but I didn't go without anything when I was a sahm, just more careful I think. My dh isn't a high earner but he obviously earns enough to support us all. As I say it is nice making my own money now though!

We could probably do it but things would be very, very tight and our lifestyle would have to change.

It also probably wouldn't be sustainable permanently (without some massive sacrifices).

We're not loaded at the moment, however we are more time-poor than cash poor. The fact that we both work means we do throw money at things just to get through the day to day - too many takeaways and Ubers etc.

If I were a SAHM, husbands income could probably just about pay the bills, but there would be very little wiggle room. So most days would have to be "no spend days". I would probably have to get rid of my car and we would walk everywhere, no convenience foods but I would hopefully have the time to meal-plan and batch cook from scratch etc (being clever about using fuel for cooking etc as well, for example if using the oven, put other things into cook as well then freeze them or whatever).
No holidays, no paid activities etc.

Sometimes I think it would be better in a lot of ways, even though we'd be skint.

Being so time-poor isn't easy and an alternative to that is very appealing.

I think people who can comfortably afford to be a SAHM are very lucky.

Fairly high earning husband and no mortgage due to being an only child and inheriting parents house. "Lucky" I guess.

I cut back on spending. And obviously there will be less money in my pension pot but bearing in mind i have to work until i'm 67 there's plenty of time for work - kids little for a short time only.

High earning husband, smallish house, 1 car, my salary wouldn't cover childcare x3 anyway. I sometimes do a bit of evening or seasonal work.

My DH earns a very average wage, his wage covers our mortgage and all essential bills, with £600 left for everything else (food, petrol, clothes, treats etc)
It doesn't go very far but I feel its worth it at the moment.
I am considering a few hours a week in local shop or something similar just to have some extra.

Husband's income. I was a SAHM for 7 years. I went back to work part time about a year ago, as I needed something for myself. I enjoy my job very much - helped by the fact that I don't have to do it. If I lost my job tomorrow, it wouldn't make any difference to us financially.

I was a sahm when my dc were young (now in early twenties). We did it by buying second hand prams, clothes, old car, cheap caravan holidays, living in cheaper area, small birthday presents etc. we lived within our means.

Also, childcare fees meant I would earn nothing. I think the situation us different now where you get more childcare help.

DH is a high earner. We're lucky we don't make sacrifices and haven't had to change our lifestyle. I wouldn't have opted to be a sahm if it meant going without holidays, activities and day trips. But then I think I would not have chosen to have dc if I had to juggle parenting and working. I'd find it too stressful and busy.

We could afford for me to be a SAHM if we really cut back on luxuries, days out, activities, annual holiday etc, but we can't afford to do both. I'm not prepared to give up those things as I think giving my DC different experiences and activities when young is important to their development so I work to be able to afford those extras. Other people prioritise one parent being at home over those things which is fine too.

The sums just need to add up, don't they? Can you (as a family) spend less than one person can earn? And if so, do you want to?

I am not a SAHM but DH is a SAHD. I just earn a lot. No massive sacrifices except I think it probably puts private school just out of reach. We live near good state schools though - could afford private if we moved somewhere cheaper I think.

Husband low earner (lower than me)
SAHM 7 years, part time ever since

Small, modest house, one old banger car, camping holidays, no new clothes/ hair/ make up/ eating out etc. Didn’t bother me at all, although it might make some people miserable. Depends on your priorities I guess.

Good luck

I did it for a few years. Both DH and I are high enough earners that either of us can comfortably support the entire household. It is much leaner with only one of us is working, but totally reasonable.

One of us would have to earn 60k at least for one to be a SAHP and maintain the lifestyle we have. I expect everybody’s circs are very different.

We are mortgage free due to dh inheriting a house, if we had a mortgage or rent I would definitely need to work. He isn't on a great income but for us having a parent at home was more important than me working to bring in extra money. But we don't have holidays, maybe a few days here and there I'm careful with what I spend, we run 2 cars, days out etc. Its not for everyone and alot of people feel that holidays and having extra money for luxuries is a priority. Depends what's important to you as an individual family really

For me I was 37 with a good career and plenty of savings behind me and a dp with a very well paid job. All of those factors gave me a choice that many people don't have and I am very grateful for.

Either there is enough background income or partner earns enough to support whole family.

some families have to adjust lifestyle more than others to accommodate this.

there are a huge number of versions of the above. But ultimately it’s just balancing the books no?!

Deliberately set up and lived our life pre-kids living well under our means - cheaper house than we could've afforded, older cars, so when we lost one wage we just weren't putting money into savings anymore as opposed to not spending/spending less. Also childcare would've wiped out most earnings.

Now both FT with older kids and can afford to save and spend.

Was absolutely worth it in our case.

DH and I knew/agreed when we were young that I wanted to be a SAHM one day. Neither of us have had much scope for earning a lot, so we knew we'd have to plan and save hard for a long time (about 5 years). During that time we lived off only his wage (£25k), firstly to test whether it was do-able and secondly so we could save all of my income. I am now 5 years into being a SAHM and it's been great. The savings I built up will last us another couple of years, by which time our eldest child will be at school and I'll look for a job. To be honest, we haven't actually dipped into the savings much apart from treats, holidays and a new car. We can still just about scrape by from month to month on one wage if we need to (now £30k). We are lucky to live in a cheap area though, and our mortgage is fairly small. With the cost of living this is getting increasingly tight, so it will be nice to have a bit more money coming in eventually. Neither of us have any regrets at all, and we've never felt poor/hard done by despite making some sacrifices.

Basically what @Clingfilm said! :)

For me it is living in an area where houses aren't prohibitively expensive (or weren't when we took out the mortgage), a fair bit of luck in selling our first home and making enough money in it to knock a decent chunk off the new mortgage. Plus being fortunate enough to live in a place where schools are decent and not needing to pay school fees.
Dh earns a good amount - we aren't rich by a long stretch, but we do okay.
Didn't really do many 'big' holidays, but did take the kids for cheaper UK breaks mostly and haven't bought a big impressive looking house - that was the sacrifice for being able to have the size of family we wanted and to be here with them. I guess we weren't losing lots of money on childcare either though. When they were little I did a bit of childminding to top up.

This is brilliant. I’ve always wondered how people do this. My DH earns 6 figures and me just above average and I’m always thinking about money. We only have 2 kids as well! For me it’s the nursery fees that kill us but as I enjoy my work I didn’t want to give up. So maybe that’s the actual difference.