How do you get over not ever being pregnant again

[febbabies2023]

I have 2 DC. A 7m old and a 3yr old
I've only ever wanted 2 children. Still do. Couldn't imagine doing the sleepless nights, weaning, potty training etc allllll over again when I've done it with this baby

BUT I LOVED being pregnant with my second. LOVED labour and giving birth. Hated all of the above with my first.

Could happily surrogate to get that feeling again 😂

How on earth do you get over that feeling / need to feel all of that again? Please tell me someone else has felt the same?!

It will pass, it just takes time.

I felt like that until my youngest was about a year

And then it just faded. I knew I was ‘cured’ when a friend announced her pregnancy and I didn’t feel any sort of pang of jealousy

Concentrate on how lucky you are to have the number of children you always wanted, with all of you healthy, and also that you’ll never have to do the sleepless thing again pretty soon

I feel the same! Definitely don’t want a h more children, but I would love to be pregnant. It’s like having all the love for a child but not having to look after them at all 😝.

My smallest is 5 months, but I suspect I’ll always feel this way.

I want to know too. I am two months into my second baby.

Little one started school and the amazing feeling of all that freedom completely overrode any deep seated broodiness in me.

Yep, totally fades. Now when I hold a newborn, there’s no broodiness. Actually I’m glad I’m far over the other side of that stage

I loved being pregnant with my first. I had that glow, no sickness, it was a breeze, I just felt great.
This time round I feel like death warmed up. Sick all the time, nauseous even when I'm not sick, stomach cramps, headaches, exhaustion... If you're still happy with two children I'd be counting my lucky stars I had nice pregnancies because the third could be awful and you may have had a lucky escape 😂

It's only gradually receding for me at 45 and I've had 3 DC.

Mine are almost 4 and almost 1 and I feel the same, OP. I think it's all the hope and anticipation of the birth and what you imagine your child will be like; the thrill of the unknown with none of the monotony of real life parenting. I had physically quite uncomfortable pregnancies - no serious illness, just lots of pain and heartburn - but I still miss it and wish I could experience it again. And giving birth to DC2 was incredible. I'd do that again in a heartbeat.

How did you love being pregnant? It’s literally the worst thing ever, counting down the days until my little one is here so I can stop throwing up every day.

It subsided with me after my four, then hit again at the menopause despite the fact that I had been sterilised anyway.

Be glad you enjoyed it so much and it’ll fade in time. I’m so completely done after 2 children and 5 miscarriages and nearly cried with relief when DH got the snip.

There were things I loved about it but I’m not very good at being pregnant and terrible at delivering babies, had two very tricky sections and couldn’t even miscarry without complications.

I adore newborns and I envy your love of the previous stages!

It took a few years for it to recede for me. I was lucky with two easy pregnancies and good births. The second birth in particular must have been great because I remember saying ‘I want to do that again!’ within about an hour of DS’ birth. 😂

In my case, I think the longing was a bit drawn out because we had actually always talked about having three children but DH changed his mind after the second. To be fair to him, my mental health wasn’t great and we were in a recession (late 00s). So I did come to terms with it in the end but it was painful for a while; that yearning to do it again.

I'm 44, got 3 DC and also loved being pregnant. Despite not wanting another I've always wanted to be pregnant again. However over the last year the longing has started to slowly fade. Assume it's an age thing.

Im feeling similar now. Mine isn’t so much the being pregnant thing although the concept of literally NEVER doing it again makes me quite sad. I think we often think of never as something we aren’t going to do for a while but to just never grow another human and that be it makes me quite sad. I only wanted two but found out during the birth of my second that it would be dangerous for me to have a third and since I’ve known I CANT, I suddenly want a third. I’m trying to find ways round it etc and I’m only a few months in with baby #2 but the finality of just that being it for ever and ever is getting to me a bit 🥺 For me it’s the newborn baby and all the baby stuff, pram etc though that’s upsetting me more than the not physically being pregnant again

You loved labour?!?!?!!!! How is this possible?!!!

I tolerated pregnancy and hated labour, but I do feel jealous when friends announce their pregnancy. I think it's because I would like another, but given my age it's very unlikely. Hard to accept. But I do try and think of all the good things about only having one!

But seriously - how can anyone love labour?!

My first I didn't. I hated every single second of it. And I never vomited. I ended up with an emergency c section and suffered horrendous PND

My second I was sick. Not as bad as some but I was sick and nauseous. I also had headaches every single day up until about 22 weeks. Awful ones.
But I loved being pregnant with her.
I think a lot of it had to do with covid. My first was a covid pregnancy (although I fell in the October so covid wasn't a thing at the time) and it made me hate everything. It was so different this time.
Also the births. C section first time, VBAC second. And although it came with complications, many of which I didn't realise at the time, I felt so amazing after compared to my first.

I don't want more children, I just can't believe I'll never be pregnant again. Or have another baby. My baby has just moved to her own room so I'll never have a baby sleep in a next to me again. All these little things.

But I'm glad it's normal and that I'm not alone in feeling this weird empty sadness

You’ve summed it up really well. I think it’s that feeling that I’m gutted I won’t have again. I felt a bit flat after I got my newborn baby home this time and I think it was just knowing that that’s it, we know what they both look like, we’ve chosen our two baby names, we’ve had our last ever scan etc. As much as I hated being in hospital even just the fact I wasn’t going to do that again or have that first drive home from hospital with them in their car seat 😢😢 It’s such a magical/exciting time, then you get home, no one cares after 5 minutes and you’re knackered 😂

I feel you 🤍
I know if I was to ever have a 3rd that I'd need a section and I don't want that again
I hope in time it passes for us

I don't even know! I'm such a control freak in daily life but

I loved the not knowing. I loved the spontaneous ness of it. I loved knowing my baby would be here soon, I loved the adrenaline and god knows what else. Don't get me wrong, at the time the pain was horrendous and I had complications but yeah I just love labour and birth 😂

I felt like this after my second, but I always wanted more and DH at that point didn't want more.

After much discussion we had a third, and now when I think of never being pregnant /giving birth/having a newborn again i do feel sad because those were incredible experiences, but I also feel so happy and blessed that I got to experience those things even if they are now behind me

I focus on enjoying the stage I'm at with each child because I know that one day I'll look back and miss/cherish these times in the same way as I miss/cherish the memories of newborn days

You'll get over it. Probably about the time you realise you don't have to change nappies or feed at night or chase a toddler around soft play ever again and then start to realise your kids have become real humans with opinions on the world who can feed and toilet themselves and it's awesome.

It's all up from here, honestly.

I loved labour so much I still feel annoyed I missed out one my having multiples. I love everything about it the pain isn't great but it's a postive experience nothing compares to the feeling. I have 9 children.

I had an awful birth with my youngest so that put me off. I would love another baby but only if I didn't have to do the pregnancy, birth, potty training and chicken pox again!

Wow! I wish my labour experience had been like some of yours! I thought the best anyone could hope for was for it to not be completely horrific!