How do you get over not ever being pregnant again

[febbabies2023]

I have 2 DC. A 7m old and a 3yr old
I've only ever wanted 2 children. Still do. Couldn't imagine doing the sleepless nights, weaning, potty training etc allllll over again when I've done it with this baby

BUT I LOVED being pregnant with my second. LOVED labour and giving birth. Hated all of the above with my first.

Could happily surrogate to get that feeling again 😂

How on earth do you get over that feeling / need to feel all of that again? Please tell me someone else has felt the same?!

Having a baby with special needs, my 2nd, scared it would happen again

I loved pregnancy both times. I’d love to do it again because I loved it so much. Sometimes I really want another baby but deep down I don’t think I can go through the baby stage again. My freedom is sooo close.Dh doesn’t want anymore anyway. I am sad about it all but there has to be a last time at some point.

I'm so desperate for another pregnancy, birth and baby. But I really don't want any more children so I can't get what I want. My children are currently nearly 6 and nearly 7

I don’t miss being pregnant, I didn’t enjoy the giving birth but……I feel sad knowing I’ll never experience the rush of meeting another brand new son or daughter or the joy of picking a name or the bliss of snuggling up to one of my own tiny babies when they stare up in to your eyes. I remember all those things and want more more more. I can’t afford more. I’m too old. Logically I can remember the tiredness that made me cry and the night where they screamed for hours and the terror when they got sick and so on- it I don’t dwell on these….I guess it’s instinct and hormones trying to trick me in to just one more!

It does get easier. Particularly as your dc get older.

I had to have a radical hysterectomy when my dc2 was 15 months and I went from being adamant I was done at 2 when I could have had a 3rd to mourning the fact I couldn’t have a 3rd. It passed, just took time. It didn’t help that people were asking if I’d have a 3rd because I had 2 boys but that stopped as my dses got older as well.

I never had a choice but I’ve never really regretted not having a 3rd child, and I feel very blessed to have had the 2 dses I do before cancer took my fertility. Plus 2 dses at university is more than enough, 3 would have broken us🫣

@febbabies2023 maybe have your little one in with you a bit longer? Don't feel you need to rush the going in to their own room. Enjoy the baby bit ❤️

I love reading everyone's stories and feeling less alone. I know some of them are not positive ones, so I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm glad my feelings are valid

I love my babies. They are hard and challenging at times. But. They both sleep well. The eldest communicates well and the youngest is an 'easy baby' we have a comfortable life, we can afford holidays, we have a nice home, all of these things which having a 3rd would just ruin to be honest 😂
I'd never want to have to raise another child, but my gosh I wish I could be pregnant and give birth to a little teeny squishy baby again

Saying that, my second when she was born did not let me have even 30 seconds of sleep when I was in hosp with her. Partner had gone home to look after the toddler and after being awake for god knows how long she didn't let me sleep. Never again 😂

Ps I feel the same, but definitely want a third and DH doesn't. I'm worried I'll be broody forever and wish I felt done at 2!

I feel you OP! was asking the same to my friends the other day, I’ve got DS1 23 months and DS2 4.5 months, it’s not even the pregnancy but, it’s the having the positive pregnancy test, the excitement of labour beginning, we went through a lot of ups and downs for them to get here, I keep questioning if I want another. Deep down I know I don’t but still question it just to have those feelings again x

I wish I could have. My first went into his room at 4 months as we'd moved house so felt like it was right to do 1 transition rather than 2
Our second - she was a bigger baby and really wasn't comfortable in the next to me; she wanted to roll over and sleep comfortably and to be honest she does sleep even better in her own space. And I'm happy that she's happy. But never mind waking up again to her smiley little face in her little bed next to me makes me very sad. But she's 7 months old now so I have to get used to it before returning to work. I am however trying to enjoy as much of her being a baby as I can

I definitely found it easy to get over that feeling...after having a premature baby and nearly losing my own life in the process. It made the decision very straightforward.

I had very easy pregnancies and births but I hate being poked and prodded and scanned and urine samples and post birth home midwife/HV visits. My last dc (ELCS) I remember getting ready for the epidural, and I don't mind needles at all, but more like the process of being handled, made me think I'm glad this is definitely the last time. I'm going to get sterilised when I can get around to it, and very happy to be done with that part of my life.

It doesn't feel a hobby to me

I had quite an easy labor. It went quickly, was pretty painless not to brag and I pushed three times and the baby was out with little effort. Definitely didn’t love it though and would not repeat. Want was misery though and full of terrifying complications. I would not want to do it twice. Honestly I’m actually kind of envious of OP. I wish I could have enjoyed my pregnancy even half as much. Instead I was bedridden and hooked up to an IV drip. 😔 It would be irresponsible to even have a second child at this point.

Following as I feel the exact same with 2 kids. Would probably have a third, but DH doesn't want to and my logical brain says STOP. But the yearning is strong! Hoping it fades as others have said...

Hi @febbabies2023
I feel the same, i love being pregnant and would love to have 3 children x

I had this at first when I would see pregnant women and be a bit jealous. But then something clicked when I thought to myself that I didn’t envy them for the anxiety they may be going through - I had suffered with my mental health and really worried about miscarriage, testing for the trisomies, anomalies on scans, post-birth diagnoses, my baby being in distress during labour - everything! That made me so grateful to have my healthy baby here in my arms.

I would love another pregnancy, labour and breastfeeding. I had always wanted to have a homebirth and never got one and I have a sense of "grief" over it. I miss breastfeeding. I loved it and did it for almost 12 years (more than a1/4 of my life) it feels strange it's over. Oh and how I missed having no periods. Hoping my Mirena helps with that.
I met a friend's new baby a few days ago and I didn't have the yearning I've had for another. Maybe I'm settling in to a new phase.

My mum had to have a full hysterectomy at 66, 15 years after menopause and me and my sibling in our late 30s. She was utterly bereft at the thought that she could never physically carry a pregnancy ever again, and truly grieved that her entire sense of womanhood was being removed.

I think it's human biology/psychology at its most very basic level, some folk are just wired to think that way.

Without meaning to be too snarky, and I appreciate this is Mumsnet, maybe one way is think about the women who weren't able to get pregnant even once, and count your lucky stars.

It's interesting. I had three kids, none were planned and I was only 23 with my first. I hated being pregnant and found childbirth both disgusting and degrading. I don't think it did my mental or physical health much good either so I decided to be sterilized at 28 altho not in this country, nobody was prepared to do it here.

I always hate comments like these that dismiss peoples feelings with the ‘poor unfortunate scenarios’ and I’m the one who was on the IV drip AND I’ve had a miscarriage okay? Why do we always have to constantly think about the exceptions to the rules and tell ourselves we aren’t allowed to feel something?

Maybe the people who can’t get pregnant should “think of the people stuck with those awful unplanned pregnancies and thank their lucky stars!” See how stupid that sounds? Because it’s ridiculous. Stop saying this nonsense!

I can really relate. My youngest is 18m and still not the best sleeper, but I had a planned section with her and I just feel like I missed the opportunity to give birth for the second time. I think about it every day. I go back and forth on having a third so much. But I don’t think we could have a third and give our DC the lives we want them to have, so I expect I’ll have to stick at two. But the thought that I’ll never have another positive pregnancy test, never feel the kicks, go for scans, get ready for labour and a new baby. It makes my heart hurt.

I don’t think it’s nonsense. Perspective (which is what the PP is alluding to, I believe) was massively helpful when coming to terms with a traumatic birth experience: I had a healthy child at the end of it. Of course my feelings towards the birth were still valid, though. My view is that these aren’t mutually exclusive.

I see your point. Perhaps I misunderstood pp and have unfairly judged their motives. In the passes it’s felt like this didn’t really work for me because it felt like there were folks who said things like this just to shut down my emotions but I guess it could work for some people. Maybe I was wrong.