How do you get over not ever being pregnant again

[febbabies2023]

I have 2 DC. A 7m old and a 3yr old
I've only ever wanted 2 children. Still do. Couldn't imagine doing the sleepless nights, weaning, potty training etc allllll over again when I've done it with this baby

BUT I LOVED being pregnant with my second. LOVED labour and giving birth. Hated all of the above with my first.

Could happily surrogate to get that feeling again 😂

How on earth do you get over that feeling / need to feel all of that again? Please tell me someone else has felt the same?!

It's so interesting to read other people's perspectives.

I cannot relate to people who really loved pregnancies and child birth. They were a means to an end for me- I wanted the babies and endured pregnancy and birth to get them. I'm slightly jealous of people who enjoyed it.

I had my final child via c section three weeks ago, so I am thick in the newborn phase now. I am so glad that my family is complete and I never have to be pregnant again. The anxiety, the tiredness, the miscarriages, the injections, the fat feet, the hip pain, the back pain, the heartburn, the nausea, the bleeding gums, all the medical appointments, the stretching ribs... I feel like I've sat my last exam and I can finally graduate!

I am grateful beyond words that I was able to choose how many children I had. I will be sad when the newborn phase passes I think, but i can't imagine wanting to do it all again!

Well you're entitled to hate my comment and the OP is entitled to feel nostalgic and sad that she won't have another pregnancy - it is a primal experience - but 'Woman who wanted two children has two healthy children' is hardly a modern day tragedy.

A bit of compassion for the "poor unfortunate exceptions to the rules" wouldn't hurt.

@S910441 whilst I understand where you're coming from, I didn't say it was a tragedy. I also didn't say that I was ungrateful or anything else. It's a valid feeling for people that are struggling to conceive. It's a valid feeling for those suffering miscarriages. My feelings are also valid and I'll be honest your comment did come across as though I shouldn't be allowed to feel the way I do.

But I am allowed to feel like that. My feelings are valid too.
Everyone who has commented on this post with their stories has valid feelings.

Let's not tear each other down because we don't have the same experiences as others okay

I feel the same OP. DS2 is 9 months old and I feel so sad I’ll never do this again. After 5 years of trying and 3 MCs it’s a miracle he’s here at all, but now suddenly it’s like my brain has gone look we can actually make babies! Make another one!

DP doesn’t want anymore, 2 is his limit and he can’t go through the trying/loss cycle again which is entirely understandable, and financially it’d be a stretch too.

I just hope it fades over time. I’d grown up with my heart set on 3 and it hasn’t worked out like that, but I am so incredibly lucky to have my two boys.

I’ll get over not being pregnant again by opening a bottle of champagne - currently pregnant with my second, not planning any more and I can’t wait for it to be over!!

It will pass.

I loved every second of my incredibly easy pregnancies and births. I also loved breastfeeding and missed it terribly when I stopped.

It all came so easy to me, it was hard to find negatives.

But I didn’t want any more children and that was more important than any yearnings.

This, but I'm 43.

I do have wee fantasies about an accidental pregnancy as I LOVE babies/birth/breastfeeding but don't think I can face bring another child up and all that entails!

Please could one of you pregnancy loving mamas do an AMA here. I’ve always been intrigued by ladies who say this - my colleague says this but I don’t know her well enough to ask for details! It sounds absolutely lovely and so mindbogglingly removed from my own experience that I’d love to know more.

Apols for the derail OP!

I literally said, "the OP is entitled to feel nostalgic and sad that she won't have another pregnancy - it is a primal experience" - I wasn't trying to say your feelings weren't allowed/valid.

I said never again after my first as had a terrible pregnancy and really struggled to end with a traumatic delivery. Had a second and within an hour or so I said I could do that again tomorrow. Pregnancy was tricky but managed much better and had an elective c section so delivery went smoothly. I'd love one more but I'll see how I feel when youngest is in preschool.

My 4th will be 1 in 3 weeks and I don’t know if I will ever be over it?! 5 pregnancies, 4 babies. Don’t love the first 16 ish weeks when I feel shit but after that super smashing great. Hate the newborn phase where they lost loads of weight (all of them!) and then I have to express and top up etc etc etc. but once past that bit they’re bloody brilliant. I mean I’m quite looking forward to no more sleepless nights but since mine all sleep like shit that’s not going to be for a good few years yet. I’m just quite sad that I won’t ever get to be pregnant again I think, similar to you OP. I don’t know when it fades but I feel weird every day because normally I’m pregnant again by this point and I’m not and that makes me a little bit sad.

I can do this for you 😂

It definitely fades. My DCs are 17 and 15 now and I haven't thought about pregnancy or having children for a LONG time. I did think I wanted a third for a while, but DH definitely didn't and I'm actually quite pleased I didn't now. Two was fine for me. The thought of grandchildren is starting to creep into my thoughts now, which isn't helped by the fact my DD15 regularly tells me she can't wait until she has children I do hope it works out for her! I do say it's not a given