Are toddlers harder than newborns (in your experience?)

[Joppi]

I have a newborn and finding it challenging for various reasons (often no daytime naps so can be relentless, evening crying, v hard to settle etc)

but then I often read posts on here about the toddler stage being so tough!

interested to hear others perspectives of the pros and cons of newborn + toddlers, and which was better!

Thanks everyone- I think more interaction will be rewarding for me, albeit the downside being tantrums!

Newborn soooo much harder than toddlers imo

My current 14 months is so much easier (
Not easy mind!) now then she was as a newborn

My 12 yr old was a difficult baby also and was a dream toddler

I dislike the baby stage. I found It hard work, isolating, stressful, and had pnd each time

It's get incredibly easier as the months go on imo

Nothing on earth is harder than a newborn! I'd have had multiple children rather than just one if they could arrive magically age 2.

Same!!!

Newborn stage was WAY harder in my experience. It's essentially an upward trending curve. Get as much support as you can.

My friends all told me newborns were hard and I was like; this is so easy what are they on about.... then they got older ....my friends hard newborns were angels as toddlers.... my toddlers are not!

It's wild to me that people had it the opposite way around to me but I also love that it means all kids are all so different and unique 🥰

At every stage there is just a new challenge. newborns it’s difficult because you’re lacking sleep, and when they’re toddlers sleep can still be an issue but they’re on the move more - at each stage there is just a new thing to consider

what age do you classify as a toddler? my toddler (2) still definitely needs a nap.

My DD is now 3 but had dropped the nap totally by 2.5! She started dropping the odd one age 2.

Mine dropped the nap around 18m. They’ve never really liked a nap. They have always slept 1930-0730 every night since about 10w though.

i think of a toddler as a baby just beginning to toddle. My Ds was walking before 9 months, so by 18 months was running around confidently. Probably wasn’t a toddler after then.

Ds is now 3. I don’t consider him a toddler. He’s just a child. He doesn’t nap, runs around, talks, plays like a child, not a baby or toddler who’s just beginning to wobble about

I have a 20 month old now. Harder in some ways, easier in others. For me:

Newborn - hard because lack of sleep. Feels like constant breastfeeding (also nice in a way as I got to just sit and relax!) Never wanted to be put down.

Toddler - constant. No breaks (mine naps for about 45 mins alone in the day, then more sleep if i breastfeed him). Again, won't sleep alone (once he's asleep I can sneak out but when he wakes he wants me there)

These are things that might not be the case with others so it is dependant on individual! Mine has always been a velcro boy, which makes both stages harder.

Baby is officially 0-12/18m (some variation on this)

Toddler from 12/18m-3

Then preschool until school age

Toddlerhood isn't all about physical abilities but maturity and attitude and well, age.

My first also walked at 9m. She was still a baby though.

My second (physically, due to health issues) would still be a toddler according to you definition. She can be wobbly and still needs to nap etc. She's 4.5.

Entirely depends on the child. My first born was an utter nightmare. My second two were amazing. Nothing down to parenting - was just the way they were. Their personalities have followed through into older childhood.

Dd2 was harder as a newborn due to reflux, dd3 harder as a toddler due to learning to walk super early and having zero sense of danger. Dd1 was a dream as both but has a right temper as a teen.

Completely depends on the child. Everyone has their moment!

Given that if you have a newborn you'll have a toddler one day whether you like it or not (excluding tragedy) - it's kind of a daft question

First newborn was the hardest part of parenthood so far. Second one much easier as less demanding baby, no colic or feeding problems. Toddler days have challenges but total cuteness too. Toddler plus newborn = tons of fun :)

Never really enjoyed the newborn stage. I much preferred it when they got older and became more interesting. I freely admit that the lack of sleep coloured the experience for me, plus you suddenly get given a baby, and no manual. You’re learning everyday.

However each stage has its own highlights and problems.

My newborn was a joy. She absolutely did not sleep through the night, but we co-slept and it was fine. Just wanted to be fed whilst I binged Netflix. Happy sat under a baby gym. Super portable and snuggly in her lovely bassinet. It was amazing and I wish I had soaked it up. It was beautiful but I don’t want any more DC.

She’s a lovely happy toddler now, but so much more work. I’m run ragged and constantly at a crusty soft play trying to entertain her. She climbs everything, breaks into everything and is a runner.

I don't think that's a true comparison though because by the time you've got a toddler you've been learning at the job of being a parent for over a year.

But I'm not sure there's any ethical way of measuring it fairly - even with adopted toddlers, they are likely to have challenges that other kids don't.

If someone suddenly found themselves with a newborn and toddler simultaneously it still wouldn't be fair because that poor toddler would come with a load of emotional baggage to be in that position.

Even second time parents who may have a toddler and baby simultaneously (and they often find second baby easier) are going through babyhood got the second time so have experience AND are adapting to two at once.

Reading the replies, I think I’ll be more grateful for the breastfeeding sessions where I can relax and watch tv before I’m on my feet more in the next chapter!

For me, no. My 3 have all been much easier as toddlers than as newborns. My God, the first evenings when they were tiny, the horrific sleep deprivation, the poonamis....

BUT mine have been pretty straightforward toddlers. Their communication skills were good. The things they were uncooperative on hapenned not to be terribly important to me. They do make a LOT of mass, but I'm ok with that. Potty training has been challenging for my boys, but we have a fast wash cycle and wipe clean floors.

I have friends with nightmare toddlers. Ones that have epic meltdowns where they thrash and kick and bite. Ones that attack their siblings out of sheer curiosity it seems. Ones that fight bedtime as if it was a form of torture.

They are the minority. Some combination of nature/parenting/circumstance.... who knows. But I guess you don't know what your toddler will be like till you have them. It's not like you can send them back.

I also think some parents are better suited to some stages. Some love newborn snuggles. Others love to play endless toddler games. Some are wonderfully patient with their self-obsessed teenagers.

I've always found the newborn stage to be the hardest, mainly the lack of sleep. Toddler stage is far easier!