Are toddlers harder than newborns (in your experience?)

[Joppi]

I have a newborn and finding it challenging for various reasons (often no daytime naps so can be relentless, evening crying, v hard to settle etc)

but then I often read posts on here about the toddler stage being so tough!

interested to hear others perspectives of the pros and cons of newborn + toddlers, and which was better!

Really interesting hearing people’s experiences! Also seems like a trend where sometimes difficult’ baby = easier toddler….that could be wishful thinking of my part! I’m also looking forward to the more interactive element of toddler vs now as a newborn I’m not getting much interaction, maybe beginnings of a smile!

I’ll investigate that! I have a baby bjorn bouncer which baby cried in most times but can give that a go again :)

Well yes my toddler was harder work.
But then again in many ways I had an easy baby.
So there's no way of saying

A non sleeping 18 month old is easier than a non sleeping 1 months old. Ds was both. But at 1 month they only way to stop him screaming was boob or walking in sling. 18 month old you can bribe with tv and banana 10 mins so you can breathe

So is that 10 bananas a night? Or leaving the tv on all night? How does that work?

A newborn waking at night you can put on a tv show. An 18m old (who may well be still wanting boobs, mine was) you need to keep it dark and quiet.

I hate to think what would have happened if I put the tv on every single hour when my 18m old woke. I don't think it would have resulted in more sleep that's for sure.

Well it is battery operated and swings back and forth gently whilst playing music 😀

@Babyboomtastic - well no. But my newborn screamed virtually 24/7. Buy 18 months Ds still woke hourly and was awful sleeper still, but dh could sit with him with a book sometimes, or we could cuddle in bed to sleep, or daytime push in pram for nap or give banana or tv 20mins or play in sandpit etc.. A newborn can literally only be soothed with food or movement most the time

In my experience yes. Babies go wherever you decide. It's easier negotiating with a terrorist than a toddler.

I had an easy newborn but I found it hard because it was just so dull and tedious. He isn't a toddler yet, he's approaching 10 months but so far, each stage as he's getting older has got more enjoyable because he's now less of a potato and is more interactive and fun.

I'm pregnant again because although the newborn stage is my least favourite part, it is relatively short overall and the stages that come after are worth it but also to get the newborn stage over with relatively quickly.

Mine was not an easy baby so toddler stage felt a breeze, once he understood language (even a little) we found routine and structure easier.

He had bad reflux as a baby so it was a sleep deprived vomiting mess, give me the occasional tantrum over newborn stage any day! But I've only had one and some have had really easy babies so found toddler stage harder

It’s unpopular to say but I hated the infant stage. It was awful. I love my child as a toddler though she’s amazing and so much easier. She has some independence as she can feed herself and drink out of her own cup. She distracts herself by playing with her own toys and I can go to the bathroom on my own. It’s great. Honestly I don’t want another baby that’s how much I hated the infant stage. I don’t care if it’s unpopular to say. That’s how I feel.

I totally agree - I’m not enjoying it either to the extent I’m not considering another one now! Sounds like toddler stage may be better hopefully!

I think it's only unpopular when mothers say it. I feel like it is almost acceptable for fathers to not like it, even excused as 'they'll be better when baby is older' but there's this expectation that mothers must enjoy every single minute.

I was told on here recently that I need help because I said I didn't enjoy the newborn stage, found it boring and dared to have a shorter maternity leave. 🙄😂

Definitely the opposite way round for me.

Newborn…two weeks late, c section, struggled with Bf, switched to formula, raging colic for DD who also didn’t sleep during the day, PND that almost saw me hospitalised.

I’d rather deal with toddler twins than a single newborn

Apple and oranges. Easier in some ways, much harder in others.

We called developmental stages the double edged sword: oh wow! She’s crawling!. oh fuck, she’s CRAWLING.

If toddlers and newborns are apples and oranges wait until they’re teens. In terms of ‘easy’ we’re talking ugli fruit. The whim of a toddler, with the unknowing selfishness of a newborn with the mouth of a singleminded politician. In the pub. After being awake for three days, but really just needing a cuddle. And money.

I think a lot of it depends on your personality and the baby's personality. I find newborns easier (even though I struggled with BF and colic the first time) but I prefer toddlers. I just find toddlers more fun and inquisitive. I am very patient and don't mind all the messy play and everything in my house breaking.

With newborns there is too much holding and rocking that I just don't like. Although I definitely can get more done with a newborn than with a toddler!

All stages come with their own joys and challenges.
After the first few weeks of sleep deprivation, I really enjoyed the baby stage and personally found it so much more rewarding than the toddler stage.
They're now 4 and 5 and I love seeing them become their own little selves. They're fab but this stage comes with another load of new challenges.

Just try to appreciate them for who they are in the moment xx

I have a newly two year old so I haven't lived the full toddler experience yet. But everything from 9 months onwards have continuously been better and better each week. I adore his current age.

Swings and roundabouts.

This weirdly reminds me of how most people love pregnancy but dread delivery and find it traumatic. But for myself pregnancy was terrible and delivery went better than perfect. I was in labor for about 2 hours and pushed 3 times and delivered in 12 minutes. I was so happy that it was over with and there were no complications!

Really depends on the child. The Newborn stage was tiring, but pretty easy, as my DS slept a lot during the day, so a lot of my time was spent breastfeeding while watching Netflix.

As a toddler though, he is exhausting. He's been walking since he was 11 months (and is now 22 months) and as a toddler he's just always been into everything. Climbing on furniture, opening cupboards, running off, etc. He won't sit still and do calm activities such as drawing for very long before wriggling and trying to escape.

I need eyes in the back of my head, as he's always finding a new dangerous thing to do. He is a good sleeper though, and I think this is because he uses up his energy by running me and DH ragged during the day!

A lot of people will say 'depends on the child' which is 100% true... but I also say it 'depends on you and what stage you prefer'!

My babies were both, looking back on it, pretty easy (no medical issues, slept well, were quite 'easy') but I found it really bloody hard because I don't think I love the baby stage that much.

Whereas my toddlers were both feral nutcases but I had rose tinted glasses because I LOVE toddlers...

All phases have their moments... maybe you're more of a toddler person than a baby person.

yes my toddler is as an angel as a newborn and he's now the epitome of chucky

Think it depends on the child. I now have both a toddler and a newborn, and while the 3 year old is extremely hard work with constant questions, shouting, boundary pushing, general manic energy etc (plus he only wants me and has done for 2 years now, which makes it hard to share the load), I don't think there's anything quite like the sleep deprivation of having a newborn. This is a dad's POV though so possibly I miss some of the aspects that make the newborn stage better for mums...

As much as I LOVE to sit looking at the baby pictures, I so prefer the toddler years. The first year was hard, relentless, boring, exhausting.

I love the toddler years, the silliness, the games, the better sleep, no more naps!