Since having my baby and possibly experiencing pnd I have thoughts from my child hood that I have suppressed
I'm looking for some books to read to help me understand what's happened and how i can be the best parent if anyone can point me in right direction?
Childhood: My mum and dad were fighting from as long as I can remember ....
No psychical but my dad was a work a holic then spent his evenings in the pub BUT we did have annual holidays, financial stability and i truly believe they both did their best
My dad was beaten as a child and bullied and has no emotional connection with me ( we no longer speak ) my mum does have emotional connection and I have some happy memories - mainly happy ones but the bad ones are -
1/She constantly spoke ill of my dad ( would stop talking to me if I started a relationship up with my dad )
2/ my mum didn't believe in me, would belittle and not encourage or support me in my school jobs etc
3/ I felt abandoned some days - I was an only child and spent lots of time in my room alone
Now often wondering why they had children
Now that I'm a parent and giving my daughters a life I think I deserved
4/ she left for another man when I was 17 leaving me at home with my dad which I hated
She had left him 7 times since I was 13 but he always begged us back for some reason but nothing changed - I felt very unsettled
Life now we are close and I love my step dad
The man she left my dad for
In some ways I didn't blame her as she was so miserable but in some ways I think she has affected me
I've never told her and never will
She's 70 and just would never understand
That's a very short summary! Didn't wanna write war and peace but didn't want to drip feed
Be interesting to see people's thoughts....
Thank you for reading x