Have I given my baby listeria?

[Flowermoon90]

I have a 2 month old DD, and she is both breastfed and takes formula.

A few times, while I was washing her bottle, I put it next to the sink, not realizing it was dusty. I washed the bottle with water and soap, but I do not remember how well I washed it, and we do not sterilize bottles where I live.

Now I am scared to death that I might have given her listeria through the dust. I just keep crying and cannot do anything. I am jist waiting for her to show signs. It is miserable.

Am I being rational or paranoid?

Paranoid, but to the point where maybe you're not well?

Have you been assessed for postnatal depression?

There will be no dust in the bottle if you washed it, thoroughly or not, dust will come out with the water that goes in. Don't panic your baby will be fine

And to answer you're question you are being irrational

I think unless you've been given reason to believe that listeria is a problem such as a family member coming down with it or her formula being recalled ect then you need to be evaluated for postnatal depression because that certainly very concerning OP.

I would say just to give yourself peace of mind until this is under control to perhaps look up bottle steamers on Facebook market place or buy one on amazon though. They make the cleaning process much easier and sanitize quickly! Very easy process! We have one for cleaning my breastpump parts but it turned out it was great for bottles, chew toys and pacifiers as well!

You are being paranoid and you need to consider whether you have PND.

Rationally, why worry specifically about listeria in dust when you are not even sterilising bottles?

Yes, I do have PND, and I am taking sertraline for it. However, I do not feel like it has been helpful, and I can no longer tell if my anxiety is justified or not, especially because I have obssessive thoughts about diseases.

I think I did not separate the pieces, and I just keep thinking contaminated water got stuck, and somehow made its way into her milk. It is driving me insane.

I disagree with posters above- you sound like I did when I had postnatal anxiety. Super common, but underdiagnosed and often misunderstood by doctors- and needs different treatment.

Id encourage you to check the symptoms of PNA
online and if it sounds like you, see a GP. Take a print out of your symptoms and if you don’t get a sympathetic ear, go to another GP until someone listens to you.

Hugs, OP. It gets better, but you might need some support 💐

@FloatyBoaty

I mean we are not doctors so we obviously couldn’t pin point an exact diagnosis but we could tell something wasn’t right and she needed help. There is actually something called postnatal OCD which I was diagnosed with and have recovered from and considered that but thought it would be presumptuous.

I was obsessed with germs and had to wash my hands exactly three times after handling the baby and washed them until my hands bled.

I’m not sure why you had to be so rude about it. I would assume most of us don’t have a medical or psychiatric license. It’s an online forum!

No one can truly know exactly what she has until she’s been properly evaluated.

@PumpkinspiceLeggongs

I don’t think I was rude at all? Just signposted alternative information online. And didn’t dx the poster but suggested she check out alternative dx.

Hope you’re on the road to recovery now, take care.

Thank you all for your replies.

I unfortunately had and emergency c-section, and my baby was born premature. It seems to have affected me quite negatively.

I keep having obssessive thoughts about germs and her health in general.

I have been prescribed sertraline, but it doesnt seem to be working.

My DH is helping a lot, and he is in charge of giving her formula. That is why I really did not know what I was doing when I washed the bottle and prepared the milk. Now I am certain the bottle was contaminated because I did not separate the pieces in the lid,,even though the doctor said she will be fine ...