How can I help DS to stop being a wuss?

[madamez]

He'sa lovely bright boy (3.5) loves people and is very friendly, but he is scared of dogs and Canada geese and seems to be getting more scared of animals, not less. A squirrel ran up to us in the park today and he shreiked and insisted on being picked up. WHat's the best way to help him be less scared because I don't want him to develop a phobia and, though it's sensible for him to be wary of dogs, having to pick him up because he's seen a chihauhua at the other side of the park is not doing my bad back any good...

I was terrified of dogs as a child. I was exactly the same as your LO. If I saw a dog on the other side of the road I used to insist on being picked up. I remember this well, so must have been quite old at the time. My mum and dad cured me by introducing me to a puppy. I was still scared, but because it was little and couldn't make a noise, I soon realised that it was OK. I seem to remember being OK from then on - although it probably took a few visits to sort me out completely. I now love animals, and have had a dog of my own since being about 15!

DD is rather like this - scared of all animals, and often the smaller (and therefore more prone to sudden movement) the better. She is also scared of radio controlled cars and at her worst the vacuum. blender and mixer.

She is getting better. The only thing that has worked really for us is befriending next door's cat who is very young (not much more than a kitten) and very friendly. It seems to have desensitivised her somewhat. We have had one or two hairy moments though when they met on the stairs and DD panicked, when it woke her from her nap by jumping on her, etc.

He's never been very keen on dogs and about 6 months ago I was delivering an Avon order to a woman with a couple of bull terriers which ran down the hallway barking their stupid faces off and that did scare him. He is a very gentle little soul and he loves cats.

This is going to sound daft, but bear with me... Have you tried suggesting that he says hello to the animals? It does help one to see them as more like us, and they are likely to be a bit more pleasant if one can give some impression of actually liking them. (I used to be terrified of dogs, but managed to overcome my fear in time not to pass it on to my children - except DS3's a little worried by large or energetic dogs).

I have been trying the 'Niiiice doggy, say hello to the nice doggy' approach, and luckily a lot of local dog owners are sympathetic and ask DS if he would like to stroke the doggy etc. The Canada geese thing is a bit harder as I don't like those f**ers much either: I know they are harmless but when they come bustling up in a thuggish mob it can be a bit un-nerving.
Oh I expect he will grow out of the worst of it: as I say, my big problem really is that he wants to be picked up all the time and I have a bad back

With dd2 who was petrified I did the whole praise her for walking past a restrained dog without freaking etc and built up from there. She is now confident with dogs and generally more confident with animals.

He is a little love, really, and I don't think it;s bad or wrong for him to be scared, just want to help him get over it.