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Smelly child

54 replies

Snds43 · 12/09/2023 20:36

I would like kind and considerate thoughts on this please..

So, my two dc have a friend who lives nearby and is a lovely, happy, clever 10 yr old child. My dc and this child all go to the same primary school and play a lot in and out of the school. I know the childs parents quite well as i used to work for the same company as one of them, but we are not friends as such. They are both professional middle class people.

My dc has told me that they don't want this child coming round to our house anymore because they smell bad. My dc is a considerate friend and did not say this to the child themselves, but feels grossed out by the smell, the child always being snotty and walking around outside with socks on only, which then get really dirty and then walking straight into the childrens bedroom/jumping on beds.

I told my child they're doing the right thing by not saying these thoughts out loud to the child themselves or their friends, as that could embarrass the child and hurt their feelings. I said maybe they can only play outdoors from now on so that the smell isnt so noticeable.

The things is that the problem is real. The child is always a bit dirty, apparently they bathe only once a week. They smell of poo a lot, and the childs parent has told me a few years ago that they soiled their underpants til quite late and they unfortunately got bullied about it and found it hard to make friends.

So what would you like to happen if this was your child? My dc likes this friend a lot, and i find it sad the child is potentially loosing friends due to bad hygiene. Would you say something to the parents? How can you even approach a subject like this?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Oblomov25 · 15/01/2025 20:32

Yes. Could be an armpit issue that needs Botox. Or some other medical condition similar.

kittybiscuits · 15/01/2025 20:44

People - he smells of poo, FFS

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 15/01/2025 21:01

Oblomov25 · 15/01/2025 20:31

Ours is lovely. The Head phoned me tonight. I'm assuming they are trying. Sadly it's just not working. This poor girl has smelt continuously for 4 years. I've had to ask for ds to be moved 5 times. Even yesterday ds said she still smells.

So difficult isn't it. My DN is ND and has real difficulty dealing with strong smells.

Her MS School kept sitting her by a ND boy who wouldn't wash and honked. No problems with having his clothes washed or access to hot water, soap and towels, he just didn't want to wash for some reason. Maybe sensory, maybe executive function but whatever it was it didn't stop him from being stinky.

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AngryLikeHades · 15/01/2025 22:00

I'm not saying this child is being sexually abused like I was, but I smelled and was embarrassed about my parent's negligence and other abuse that I suffered at their hands.
The child might have a legitimate bowel issue, and therefore smell, but reporting it to the school to investigate and safeguard wouldn't be a bad idea. Even if you don't report to social services, this would get the ball rolling and possibly be less intense for you than the former.

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