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Parenting

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Original poster

My son wants to be Cinderella

71 replies

soggyduck · 08/09/2023 11:32

Fairytale theme fancy dress coming up at school. My son (5) wants to go as Cinderella. I don't have a problem with this, but don't want him to be teased by the other children for turning up as a female character. Should I let him do it or try to persuade him to choose something else?

OP posts:

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Sugarcoatt · 08/09/2023 11:36

It wouldn’t bother me personally if my son went as Cinderella. But kids can be cruel and like you I’d worry about bullying. So for that reason alone I’d probably try to change his mind.

PurpleMonkeys · 08/09/2023 11:36

Let him do it.

Teaching boys that they can wear dresses and be pretty is fine. If kids tease him, that too is a teachable moment.
Some people are narrow minded and think clothes equate to sex and gender, others think clothes are bits of material that make no difference to who you are.

What road a parent and child goes down will shape the child in the future.

Wearing a dress doesn't make a boy a girl, if it did, girls in trousers would be boys.

Jb2182 · 08/09/2023 11:37

I'd let him but maybe pack him a spare outfit in case he decides he wants to get changed?

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Watchkeys · 08/09/2023 11:37

Good for him! Are you stopping him doing other stuff because of what people might say? If so, what do you think that teaches him?

SaturdayGiraffe · 08/09/2023 11:37

I would let him go, give the teacher a heads up about it, and provide a back up costume just in case.

NeedMyDress · 08/09/2023 11:37

I wouldn't let him - I think he would be teased.

BlueChampagne · 08/09/2023 13:03

Mine has been in as the witch from Room on the Broom, Alice, the Worst Witch and Violet from A Series of Unfortunate Events over the course of his primary school career. No report of any teasing.

Drummend01 · 08/09/2023 13:12

Let him do it, I think it’s a good idea as other suggested to pack him a change of clothes just incase.

At 5, a lot of kids are much more accepting then we are as adults so I don’t think he will experience any problems

PinkRoses1245 · 08/09/2023 13:14

of course let him do it, it's his decision.

usernother · 08/09/2023 13:15

Tell him he can wear it but warn him that other children might laugh at him

Merrow · 08/09/2023 13:16

My four year old DS turned up to school in a pink tutu. Apparently one boy asked why he was dressed like a girl, but he came out mostly preening about the compliments he got. I'd do it, but chuck a change of clothes in a bag in case it turns out that he gets concerns and changes his mind.

DanceMumTaxi · 08/09/2023 13:17

The other boys will definitely say something to him. It might not be teasing as such, but it’ll definitely be noticed and commented on. If you don’t mind, and you think your ds wouldn’t be bothered, then send him as Cinderella. If you know he’ll get upset maybe try and persuade him to be something else.

FunnysInLaJardin · 08/09/2023 13:18

I would let him, but might explain gently beforehand that he may get teased just in case he hasn't considered it and that it might upset him.

DS2 was like this and the sort of child who didn't care what anyone else thought of him, so he got away with it

MangshorJhol · 08/09/2023 13:18

Those saying: warn him others might tease him- so how do you frame that? Be very careful you don’t imply that being different or dressing like a girl is something to be laughed at. ‘You can do X but there might be consequences’ is quite harsh for a five year old just wanting to wear a pretty dress.

My six year old went as a female superhero Mia Mayhem for WBD (we are in the US where the series is very popular). Not a single person commented or laughed at him.

JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots · 08/09/2023 13:19

If Craig revel horwood can play Miss Hannigan in Annie then your ds can be Cinderella.

Monopause · 08/09/2023 13:20

Go for it - it’s just dress-up don’t make a big deal out of it. If he gets any grief deal with it like you’d deal with bullying for any reason. There’s never a good excuse for bullying - has he got a good cohort of friends?

saraclara · 08/09/2023 13:22

My four year old asked to be Joseph in the pre-school nativity play, back in the day. And they gave her the part.
I'm not sure at what age he's at risk of since other kids pointIng and laughing, but I think I'd do what others have suggested. Have a spare costume in his bag in case.

Toonali8 · 08/09/2023 13:23

The replies on here have made me sad. I wouldn’t dare say to my child you can do this but your friends may laugh at you- just as cruel as the laughing I reckon.

I would let him wear what he wants!

flexigirl · 08/09/2023 13:35

My son went as a princess to his school dressing up day and that was 13 years ago . Nobody cared

FunnysInLaJardin · 08/09/2023 13:40

Toonali8 · 08/09/2023 13:23

The replies on here have made me sad. I wouldn’t dare say to my child you can do this but your friends may laugh at you- just as cruel as the laughing I reckon.

I would let him wear what he wants!

thing is when children are very small they may not have come across this sort of bullying and cruel behaviour before.

I know bullying ruined DS1's experience at primary school as the school simply would not take it seriously and I didn't want DS2 to inadvertently wander into the same situation.

Of course it is OK to dress however you want, but I think you owe it to a small child to at least brief them on how the world works.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/09/2023 13:41

5 year olds don't usually tease another child for being different. They are usually very accepting of this kind of thing. I had a boy in my Nursery Class who always dressed up in skirts, fluffy bunny ears and a handbag. He went through Primary school with children who accepted him for the way he was and he was never teased at school. He'll be in his 20s now and I'd love to see what he's doing.

EasternStandard · 08/09/2023 13:45

He should be fine. Five year old boys do it to parties here

Although it may differ depending how people are elsewhere, but it’s not an issue at all here

Icycloud · 08/09/2023 13:46

I don’t think you should let him, encourage him to go as something else or other people might confuse him and start trying to push transgender ideas onto an impressionable child

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/09/2023 13:49

Icycloud · 08/09/2023 13:46

I don’t think you should let him, encourage him to go as something else or other people might confuse him and start trying to push transgender ideas onto an impressionable child

I think quite the reverse. I think if he is allowed to be a boy who likes wearing a dress he never needs to consider transgender ideas. He can just be who he is.

Toonali8 · 08/09/2023 13:52

Icycloud · 08/09/2023 13:46

I don’t think you should let him, encourage him to go as something else or other people might confuse him and start trying to push transgender ideas onto an impressionable child

Christ, it’s one costume, this is ridiculous.

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