My son wants to be Cinderella

[soggyduck]

Fairytale theme fancy dress coming up at school. My son (5) wants to go as Cinderella. I don't have a problem with this, but don't want him to be teased by the other children for turning up as a female character. Should I let him do it or try to persuade him to choose something else?

@MidnightOnceMore no not all the boys at all, but I’m sure some will, especially those with older siblings. It might just be ‘why are you wearing a dress?’ Or ‘Cinderella’s a girl’, but some will comment.

It's always interesting when a man posts on mumsnet.......

I've two boys (young primary) who've always liked "girl" things - pink, rainbows, sparkles etc. Along with boy things.

They've never been teased, they have had the odd comment and we've talked about how some people think certain clothes are for boys or girls but we think anyone can wear anything.

I feel my job is to teach them to fit in in terms of consideration for others, a level of sociability and sense of community. I don't want to teach them they have to pre empty other peoples bias and conform to it to fit in

Do people with this attitude really still exist ? It’ll be conversion therapy next 😆

So what?

We can't live our lives based on what some people who are ignorant or wrong might choose to comment on.

When I was at school I was told cleaning was a woman's job, I was told I should change my hair, I was told I should change the way I dressed.

If some backwards type says 'that's a girl's costume', isn't that their problem? There are stupid people everywhere. Learning to ignore them is a good thing.

That was sort of my point - if the OP and her ds don’t mind comments then go for it. But this is a young child and they might be upset by it, only the OP knows how her child would react.

I don't have your faith

At 5, yep no problem. I doubt he'll be teased or bullied

I have a dd who wears quite a lot of “boys” clothes and plays quite “boy” games at school- has more male friends etc.

One phrase which it has been helpful to teach her is “they aren’t boy’s shoes - they’re my shoes “. And she feels confident to use it with adults as well as kids. Might be worth a discussion? We discussed it initially from a theoretical point of view but looped back round to it when it’s come up again.

My experience is that most comments come from adults.

I’ve quite encouraged it to be honest- a lot from the boys section is better made - but she seems to be growing out of it at 8.

I also worried my DS would be teased for dressing up as a fairy godmother, Hermione, Worst Witch etc. No teasing at all, so far. If anything, his friends think it's fun.

I went to school dressed as an owl once. I didn't turn into a bird.

But I have the experience.

I've worked with 4-5 year olds, the class most likely has a fancy dress corner, and I'd bet money the 'girl' costumes aren't only worn by girls.

Let him be Cinderella, at worst he'll get a couple of comments the teacher will put right. If you say he can't, he'll learn that liking princesses/pretty clothes/'girly' things is bad, shameful, unacceptable.

Oh god it's so hard for boys. My DD (4) routinely goes as batman, spiderman or superman. No one bats an eyelid. Just let him do it xxx

5 really isn't too young, its the prime time for them to fear the judgement of their peers. Guess you dont have small DC?

Which counts for nothing

@FunnysInLaJardin I have three.

OK. 30+ years working with 4 to 5 year olds counts for nothing.

@CaptainMyCaptain well before starting reception my DS favourite woolly hat was purple and pink. The number of boys who told him he's wearing a girls hat! It may not be teasing but it plants a seed. And yes these comments do come from parents originally as there really are plenty of them who strongly believe boys should not wear pink, play with dolls, toy kitchens etc. or they may originate from older siblings. My kids have been raised to believe that there is no such thing as boys stuff/ girls stuff, but I feel a minority. It's much easier for a girl to dress as a boy character than vice versa but this still would not stop me from letting my son be Cinderella.

One of my grandsons used to play with a Barbie when he was about 7 . When we were on holiday together he was running about with a group of boys with the Barbie in his hand. One of the boys stopped for a second and looked at it then just carried on with the game. Not an issue at all.

I spent most of my teaching career in a mining, then former mining, area. The parents there seemed much more liberal and open minded than some on here.

You're lucky you lived in such a liberal community. I live in a large diverse city, I would expect it to be more liberal than it is. Don't get me wrong, some parents are very liberal but it only takes a few to not be and that filters down. My neighbours, the father is a SAHP, seriously the reactions from some people that downright think it's odd. I think it's bloody fantastic and wish there was more of a balance of primary caregivers between mothers and fathers. I think we're still a long way off accepting boys and girls can do and like what they want and to not be pigeon holed by their genders.