What’s the one thing you wish you had, that would make parenting easier?

[Famil]

I’m curious - It could be a mindset, tool, product, relationship… what are you missing to do a better job as a parent?

For me I struggled with sleeping and looking back I wished I'd focused on that more.

Mine is unfashionable but routine really helps babies and small children. If they know what to expect when it gives them a security that makes them relaxed. Obviously not Gina ford sort of routine, take time and find what establishes itself organically.

A full time nanny, chef, gardener, cleaner and general housekeeper

Sleep deprivation destroyed for the first three years. If my babies had just been better sleepers I’d have been a much better mum.

More family help! We've had precious little of that. My eldest is nearly three and the only time she's been looked after by grandparents without us present was while I was giving birth to her sister. The next time with be in May when DH and I go to a wedding, and even that won't be overnight.

I don't resent it - the grandparents all live a fair way away and all work - but when I talk to friends whose kids have twice-weekly sleepovers at granny's house and who have babysitting on tap, I get a bit green with envy!

Bernard's watch so I can stop time whenever I need a break or to go back to sleep etc or to freeze them so I can instantly get them dressed, stop them running away etc

if it has to be real things... A group of supportive friends/family and unlimited money.

I wish I could interpret the real meaning behind the monosyllabic responses. Like a version of Google translate where 'fine' produced a printout for me that said 'today was about a six out of ten, but Sarah really annoyed me by telling everyone I was upset about Dan and I got really confused in Maths but was too shy to say and I am feeling under loads of pressure about my future. And I want a cat'.

Then I wouldn't always be worrying.

I would set it so certain thoughts were redacted so that some healthy developmental privacy was preserved. And I wouldn't use it for evil I promise.

Loving grandparents/family nearby.

A Mum.

A third arm.

A driver's licence in the first 5 years.
More certaintiy in my decisions.

A supportive partner (lone parent)

Money!!!! Could get some help, not have to worry about juggling full time work and being a single parent, holidays would be easier and more enjoyable, etc.

More money = less stress

Prioritising myself a bit more. I became one of those martyr mums who did everything. My DH at the time was hands on but I felt that I should be ‘in charge’ - in part because it was always me who bore most of the mental load in the relationship as a whole - he was much more passive. I’d always get up at night, do most of the changes, organise play dates, pick ups and drop offs, doctor and dentist appointments etc. on top of having an almost full time job. I’d have pushed more of that onto him and taken better care of myself - made time for exercise, healthier food, etc. Now they’re older I’m trying to claw all that back now.

In the beginning the gulf between where I was and where I thought I should be was entirely driven by lack of sleep.

Now the kids are much older, I'm fine. I could be persuaded to pick out things, I suppose, but I'd be nitpicking.

This is what I was going to say 🤣🤣🤣

Honestly money. Money for a cleaner, it more prepared meals, or activities for the kids, more holidays, fix the house without wondering if we can afford it, pay someone to help me plan and start the garden rather than my haphazard attempts.

A properly supportive, empathic, emotionally available partner.

Everything else is based on money.

This. Never a sleepover in 13 years. Very rarely anyone taking them out for the day just because. No Friday night teas. Most babysitting done when DC were already in bed asleep.
By the time they went to primary, it was the first time anyone had ever supervised them for us during the daytime and hadn't been paid for it.

Grandparents who would take them overnight.

We are able to afford babysitters which is great but it's not practical or affordable to get someone to look after them overnight. There's an amazing childfree wedding coming up that I would love to go to with my husband but no...

I don't want to be away from my kids all the time but a couple of nights a year would be fab

A mute button so I could enjoy the last 5 mins of the dog walk in peace

More patience and to be a bit less uptight. I think i could perhaps then enjoy it more.

What @Stripeypyjamas said!