Will I regret giving baby a dummy?

[FelisMargarita]

My 5 week old is waking every 1-2 hours. Apart from one 4 hour fluke, he’s never slept for more than 2 hours. I’m thinking of introducing a dummy but worried about making things worse in the long term if he’s reliant on it for sleep. Also weaning off dummies sounds tricky. To be honest, I don’t really like dummies but I’m desperate for sleep. Am I being silly by being so reluctant? Do short term benefits outweigh the negative?

Im grateful to anyone who can share their experiences, good or bad.

I didn't want to give my baby a dummy before I had him, and on day one caved and got some for him to soothe him, turned out a good idea as he had a severe tongue tie and reflux.

I give it to him to soothe when he is over tired, upset in car seat or pram etc but he is a spitter outer and so I don't give him it in them crib at night. As soon as he falls asleep in arms he spots it out and it doesn't go back in, or else he'd be spitting it out and fretting for it like he does during the day when using it. It makes us laugh luckily when he does it during the day, contrary child, but would he a nightmare at night constantly waking to him fretting to have it put back in - my sister had this problem for 6 months til they weaned her boy off them. It took two nights of unsettled crying and it was done so it's not an impossible task, I'd just say be wary of using them at 5 weeks old (same age as my son) to sleep longer as you may find it males him more unsettled if it falls out.

DO anything that makes your life a bit easier at this stage and try not to feel guilty about anything. All 3 of my babies had dummies and they were so comforting for them. We had no issues removing them when they were older and all of them have beautiful straight teeth. They are 11, 9 and 9 now.

The hardest bit of being a parent, particularly of a baby, is the judgement from others. It literally doesn’t matter what you do, others will judge, so do what makes you feel comfortable.

I breastfed 1 and bottle fed 2. I coslept and didn’t, I rocked my first to sleep for almost every single nap of his life. The twins were put into bed and often “self soothed” because I was busy with 3 boys under 2.5. Honestly I can’t see any difference in any of them for any of it. I didn’t “make a rod for my own back” with any of it. I just did things that made it work for me and now I can look back and think what a lovely time I had with my babies. Not “I made myself miserable doing what others told me I should be doing”.

you’ve got this 💪🏻💪🏻

You need a rocking crib such as a Snoo. For me it was worth the investment for my sleep

No you won't. I would rather sleep...

I’d go for it, it can really help. I was exactly the same as you and really didn’t want to start but I’m glad I did as it gave her some comfort and I got a bit more sleep in the early days. By 6 months she just spat it out when I offered it so I didn’t bother with it anymore.

Absolutely recommend side lying feeding, just make sure duvets and pillows are away from baby and you can snooze with them or carefully roll away once they unlatch. Also slings are really useful for daytime naps when you want to get stuff done and will save your back! You're doing great mama, this phase will pass

Get lots of dummies! We were the same thinking we weren't going to use them, but gave in at 10 days 😅 he loved his dummies, had them until he was 3 but no speech or teeth problems.

Younger sibling: we were all prepared with the dummies from the word go... but he wouldn't touch them!

It's the baby's decision really and if they take them, you know they find it comforting. So why not?

All four of my dc had dummies from day 1. We weaned them off at 4/5 months ish, when they could control their hands enough to suck a thumb or finger. I did find that I needed to keep a finger lightly on it for 10 mins or so while they got used to keeping it in their mouth (or just tapping the end lightly also kept them in). I found that once mine were hungry, no dummy was going to satisfy them and there was no nipple confusion. We also had no tooth alignment issues later on.

Yes. Tough as it is, recommend you let them cry it out. Once you've established they aren't hot, cold, wet, dirty, teething, colicky, trapped, feverish, actually really ill etc..... whack 'em down safely in a cot they can't escape from, close the door, make and have a cup of tea. Then check on them, not making eye contact though..... And repeat.....and repeat.... Did it with all of them. None of them have ever had a dummy because once they start, it's like cigarettes. You won't get them off it easily.

My DD had a dummy from the first night of being home - I regret not trying to go without as she's now 4.5 and still has it to sleep (and any other time in the house if she can get away with it). We've always been a "when she's ready" kind of household, we'll get rid of it - but she's showing no signs so I'm bracing myself for a battle.

In terms of waking up every couple of hours, I'm afraid that's pretty normal at such a young age.

Wow! You do realise OP is taking about a newborn here rather than a 6 month old who is being sleep trained?!

Yes.

Didn't bother with one with my eldest.

Twins did have them - the nurses in SCBU have them one (born at 34 weeks) to help with their breathing and recommended we keep them till at least 4 months adjusted age (so 5.5 months after their birth).

My experience is that a dummy doesn't afect frequency of waking (boys slept through at roughly same age as my eldest) because it falls out when they are asleep. BUT it makes it easier to settle them -you can feed them, then pop them down awake with dummy and they go to sleep soooooo much easier than if you try that without a dummy! Also helps them to drop off more easily in a wider variety of settings e.g. pram, car seat at a younger age.

I haven't taken the off my boys yet - they are nearly 3. They sleep through without me having to replace - one of them drops it out of my his mouth before he goes to sleep and just leaves it on his pillow, the other one replaces it himself if he wakes. No effect on their teeth or speech. They don't ask for them except for sleep.

If you think it might make your life easier, give it a try. The issues people raise with them only seem to be a problem if there is excessive use while awake. It's not like they at practising speech while napping!

I gave my eldest a about 6 weeks old as he just wouldn’t settle especially for my husband, it calmed him right down. We went through a very short phase where he would lose it at night and we’d have to go in to give it to him (started putting a couple in the cot so he could find it himself). We took it off him at 2.5 years (would’ve been sooner but he got a sibling just after turning 2 so we didn’t want to make too many changes at once for him). Taking it off him was fine, we took him to build a bear, he put a dummy in a bear and now he sleeps with the bear instead, wasn’t even bothered by it. He only had his dummy for naps and bedtime from about 12 months old.

introduced the dummy with our 2nd at 10 weeks as we were struggling with breast feeding so didn’t want to introduce it earlier and cause any other issues. He slept through the night from about 12 weeks (probably a coincidence). He’s 6 months now, still sleeps with a dummy but will sometimes fall asleep without it. Aiming to get it off him by 2 as he won’t be getting any younger siblings to delay it like with our first but we’ll see what happens.

I was given a dummy, no problems and gave it up willingly at 3. Sibling came along and they had all the advice about affecting speech/teeth etc so didn't give sibling one. They sucked their thumb instead. And was still sucking it at 14 - can't exactly take it away like a dummy! Caused a lot of jaw and teeth problems and resulted in a lot of orthodontics to realign their jaw and sort out teeth. Funnily enough they decided to use a dummy for DC3 and DC4. The one without the dummy remains the only one to have issues and need a brace etc.

Mine all had a dummy from birth, and I removed them at 2 years old. All have straight teeth.

I think a dummy is better than thumb sucking.

I regret not giving my second child a dummy. 11 years later still trying to get her to stop sucking her thumb.

First child had a dummy which we got rid of when he was 2/3.