Will I regret giving baby a dummy?

[FelisMargarita]

My 5 week old is waking every 1-2 hours. Apart from one 4 hour fluke, he’s never slept for more than 2 hours. I’m thinking of introducing a dummy but worried about making things worse in the long term if he’s reliant on it for sleep. Also weaning off dummies sounds tricky. To be honest, I don’t really like dummies but I’m desperate for sleep. Am I being silly by being so reluctant? Do short term benefits outweigh the negative?

Im grateful to anyone who can share their experiences, good or bad.

As a thumb sucker myself who ended up having to get cosmetic dentistry as an adult (as soon as I could afford it) my view was always that I’d rather give a dummy and have the struggle of taking it away than risk a thumb sucker.

My DC was given a dummy whilst in Nicu so we just bought one as well and tbh it did help a lot whilst he was young, he was EBF and whilst it would drop out of his mouth as soon as he was sleeping at night time, it really helped to get him to sleep for daytime naps and saved me in some really cranky moments where he was just having a meltdown. When I switched to the bigger dummy size at 6 months he didn’t take to it as well and I was ending up having to go through to his room frequently as he’d wake crying a lot so I ended up just taking the dummy away cold turkey and he’s been absolutely fine without it. Yes it takes a few minutes longer to settle him down to sleep sometimes but he isn’t a thumb sucker and also now I don’t need to worry about his teeth. He’s 8 months now and still dummy free.

You could try a dummy. I would say there are pros and cons. If it comes out during the night you’d still have to wake to resettle.
also it depends on whether baby is waking to feed or waking to suckle. He is still so young so waking every couple of hours is really normal.
I co sleep with my baby and feed lying down (obviously not for everyone) but it has meant that I am able to get sleep. You can follow sale sleep 7 on lullaby trust for guidance on it.
sleep deprivation is the worst so I wish you luck with whatever you decide.

3 toddlers they all had dummies when babies and our boy 3 he gave his up himself at 6months just decided he didn't want it. One of our 1 year twin girls she stopped wanting it around 5months and the other twin girl she stopped wanting it in the day time around 7months but still likes to go to bed twiddling it in her hand and occasionally popping it in her mouth. Not sure what the braces comment has to do with anything about a dummy at that age as being 15 your gums teeth, jaw shape have no relevance as to how they were when a baby

Ds had a dummy from arriving home, I never limited it,he had it up to starting school along with the muslin square that he had one tied to each corner. He moved on from his dummy to his cuddly dog which went everywhere except for school. He has no problems with his teeth, his bite is perfect.

I have two children, one used a dummy, the other one didn’t. There was no improvement to the sleep of the one that did. Actually, the opposite when he got older and it fell out of his mouth in his sleep and he was too young to put it back in. On the flip side, it literally pacified him during the day and I’ve got to complaints. Also I believe they are proven to reduce SIDS risk for some reason, and that is always a win to me.

I got so much shit from my mum for using a dummy but it is amazing. Instantly calmed DS1 when he was screaming with colic. He’s now 2 and it still works to soothe him when he has a nightmare, is overtired after nursery, hurts himself, is ill.

Now using it with DS2 aged 7 weeks. Again, great for working through painful wind.

We haven’t tried to wean DS1 off yet and that will be hard. But the dentist has said there is no impact on his teeth (he had all of them well before he was a year old) and it works for us.

If they don’t use a dummy, they’ll often find their thumbs anyway. I was a chronic thumb sucker and had years of orthodontics! You can’t predict it.

Agree with others on one con - if it falls out when the baby is asleep, they will often wake up and want it. It can feel like you’re endlessly putting it in. And then when they got older, they lose it in the cot or drop it out of the side so you have to go in and help them find it in the middle of the night (this is in fact why I am awake right now!).

I would definitely prefer a dummy to a thumb sucker. Firstly it’s more hygienic and secondly much easier to get rid of. J know children who sucked their thumb up to 8! Also know kids who were constantly sick as sucked their thumb in nursery after touching everything.

both of mine had dummies, no regrets, it helped them settle and sleep and helped during car journeys and flights. Wasn’t too hard to get rid of it, like everything else you have to be consequent.

I am a bit conflicted, we got a free dummy with the bottles, and although I had not intended to use dummies with our twins....my son had issues unfort after birth, so for me to cope - my daughter got a dummy that same day and she loved it. She was a lovely happy baby, did not wake because she lost it and went to night time and then gave it up at the age of 3 to the 'dummy fairy' who was going to give it to a new baby in exchange for leaving her a bike :) I had also taken her to a consultant who confirmed the dummy would not affect her teeth (and it hasn't) it is only active thumb sucking which does that.

BUT - I now have a very anxious teen. And I have wondered if depriving her of that chance to learn how to self soothe from the age of 0-3 years old has contributed to her not having these skills now.

Go for it I've used it for 2 of my children from birth it really helped them fall asleep, I would then take it out once asleep so it's not constantly in their mouths.

All 3 of mine had dummies from early on. No teeth or speech issues. Dummies were for sleeping and kept in the cot. No running around with them. I didn’t want thumb suckers as it’s really hard to break that habit and does a number on teeth. Waking up because of dummy loss in the night didn’t seem to be an issue as all of my kids would sleep for a good stretch (4-6 hours) by 5/6 weeks.

Also you are NOT a failure no matter what you decide to do. We’re all out here trying to survive with babies and children and they’re all different, so it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or does, it may or may not work for your LO. Do what is going to make your life easier.

I over came night time dummy issues with getting them glow in the dark dummies.

My mother thought dummies were a revolting invention. She was horrified that I bought one for my son. I had an Australian boss at the time and he used to talk about "spitting the dummy". Well I saw it in action - once my son worked out that nothing was coming out he literally spat it out. Mum allowed herself a small smile!

No I've done both. My first refused it and was a nightmare to settle, made my life so unnecessarily difficult. Second used one and she was a dream and a happy baby because of it. My nephew died of SIDS and when they had another baby they were advised to use one as it can reduce cot death.

We used dummies with DS. We were torn but when he was an infant, we got to the point where he would suckle on my nipple for comfort and it was really sore for me so we realised he needs one. It was great when he was younger and he was upset as it soothed him, and essential in car journeys when he started to have a meltdown.

He‘s now 2.5 and only has them for night time sleep but trying to wean him off as he has a slight overbite now. He used to have one regularly which is where we went wrong I think. But over the past 6 months to a year we reduced it from regular use to nighttime use only, which he understands and hands over in the morning (although if he finds a clean one in the dishwasher, it’s straight back in his mouth!). We’re now on our second night of no dummy at all, and he’s doing ok so far…

I will add that it didn’t help him sleep through. DS has always been a bad sleeper and a dummy always helped soothe him back to sleep, but didn’t make any difference to his ability to stay asleep.

I was also keen to avoid thumb sucking, as he did show signs of sucking his thumb. Figured it’s easier to wean off a dummy than wean off a thumb!

No, probably not.

None of my 3 children had dummies, one of mine from birth until over 2 years old would sleep 1 hour every 24 hours!!!

Nothing worse than seeing babies/toddlers with dummies, all the time lol why people post pictures of their children when all you can see is a dummy is horrible!!

All three of my children had dummies and they really helped with soothing. I left several in their cots overnight, so when they woke up they could find one easily and settle back to sleep. No issues getting rid of the dummies, and only one child needs braces, but not because of having a dummy.

I was really against the whole idea of using a dummy and consequently mine sucked their fingers (child 1) or thumb (child 2) instead, that's a much harder habit to break than getting rid of a dummy. They did eventually outgrow the finger/thumb sucking during Reception and Year 1 respectively, but a dummy would have been gone much sooner. A dummy is definitely not the worst thing in the world.

My 2 both jad dummies to help settle to sleep un the early weeks. One self weaned of then at 5 months the other at 8 months.

I'm surprised this hasn't already been mentioned (or maybe it has and I missed it) but giving a baby a dummy as they fall asleep reduces the risk of SIDS. I have a five month old and he's had a dummy for falling asleep since he was about two months old. Contrary to what a lot of people on here have said, he doesn't wake up when it falls out. It helps him settle much quicker and he now knows when the dummy goes in, it's time to go to sleep so helps with nap times in the day too. He doesn't ever have it when he's awake and doesn't sleep with it all night, just sucks it while he drops off and then it falls out during the night. I highly recommend the nuby ones for very young babies like yours as the bit that goes in their mouth is flat and quite small. I tried a different one first and my son gagged on it because it was too big for his little mouth!

BF babies tend to sleep in short bursts. All three of mine had dummies. Took them away when oldest was 3 (was going to take them away at two but was expecting twins and didn't want to take his comfort away with all the changes that were going to happen) and took the twins away when they were 2. We had teddies and blankets as comforts as well as dummies, so when the dummies were took away I had 3 nights of refusing to sleep until they eventually gave in. I don't regret it one bit as it meant I could function better when they were younger. I also didn't give them a dummy all the time. Only when they signalled or asked for it

Which would you rather:

1. A calm house where parents and child aren't perpetually sleep deprived + stressed out, baby uses a dummy when needed

2. the opposite

Thank you everyone for your replies. We still haven’t introduced the dummy, I’ve decided to wait a few more days to see if there’s an improvement without. Some of the comments gave me a bit of perspective and reminded me this can be quite normal (although this sleep deprivation is so so tough!). I’m definitely put off the idea of thumb sucking now from some of these experiences! I saw some comments on Facebook about birth weight and he is well above for his age so that definitely isn’t a concern. I feel like I’m doing a bit better now just from hearing this advice and that people took time to respond. Thank you.