A question (with a million trigger warnings for SIDS)

[CurlewKate]

Is there any research that gives a definitive risk to properly managed bed sharing? Not falling asleep accidentally or sleeping in an unsafe environment or sleeping under the influence of alcohol or drugs or cigarette smoke, but actual, planned bed sharing?

The infant sleep lab at Durham university has a lot of research on this sort of thing and their website BASIS might have what you are looking for. Professor Helen Ball also has some lectures on YouTube which are worth watching if you get a minute.

In east asian countries (Korea, China, Japan) bed-sharing was and still is extremely common. Some parents use cribs but you will definitely never get judged for bed-sharing. Maybe you can compare overall rates of SIDS from asian studies with western ones.

The safest way is for the mother to lie in "C" shape around the infant, which is a position where it's impossible to roll over by accident.

I think the lullaby trust have done work on this..

Thank you. I so often want to suggest bed sharing to sleep deprived parents, but of course I don't...

I was paranoid about SIDS. The second my son turned 6 months old when the risk lowered I moved him into my bed. Planned bed sharing is far far safer than accidentally nodding off in a couch or chair which can happen to the extremely sleep deprived. I was sleep deprived to the point where I didn't feel safe to drive and every time i walked I felt like I was going to fall over. It was hell.
The Lullaby Trust did a good info sheet on it.

Lullaby Trust, Safe C position.

I never did it as it was hugely uncomfortable. Despite swearing that I would never, I ended up sleeping sitting up propped on pillows, holding my daughter in my arms. It was the only way I could have got any sleep.