What have I just done. Worried I've given my child a horrible memory they'll never forget

[wtfhaveijustdone]

My 4 year old can be hard work, he is an absolute sweetheart but knows how to push you. I'm so good at staying calm, my parents screamed and shouted at me and I always vowed never to do that. He was fighting me at bed time; had an answer for everything, wouldn't get in bed, my husbands away so I had to get the baby to bed first and he started screaming so loud I thought he was going to wake the baby up, he was lying on the floor kicking his legs and screaming while I tried to put his shorts on and when he started screaming I put my hand to his mouth and his shorts were in my hand and I covered his mouth with them, I didn't push down and it was only for a few seconds when I caught myself and realised what I was doing was essentially smothering him, my thought process was just blind panic cover the noise, not intending to smother, and like I said I didn't and didn't push down but I did cover his mouth with my hand with the shorts in. He said I scared him and that if I do that he won't be able to breathe. I've apologised loads, he apologised for kicking me. Cuddled up, asked for back tickles, had his stories and fell asleep but I feel sick to my stomach

Is he always going to remember that, is he going to think I tried to smother him, I have horrible memories of my parents being aggressive with me, I'm so upset with how it looks and what's happened. I feel like itll be a core memory. I hate myself right now

Teder - that would happen via the DSL if found necessary, not by the average staff referring it. The teaching staff would be referring it further having spoken to the child and/or parent.

I've worked at schools where it would go no further depending on the parent and child statements.

I've worked at schools where it would warrant more information being sought and possible referral. But we also know that the referral is likely to stop quickly under current systems - there just isn't the resources to follow up sadly.

In the ideal world we'd want the parent to be supported and help given re parenting courses, etc. In the real world - it might happen in 2-3years maybe, which is after they'd have left my type of school sadly.

I’m not trying to upset the OP but I have to address this. There is never any reason why a DSL / school should not refer this on. In OP’s case, unlikely any action would be taken by children’s services but it’s not for schools to make that assessment. The fact that a school feels they might make that decision is worrying.