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Original poster

Are nursery lying about what LO eats at nursery?

92 replies

Basketcase56 · 15/08/2023 19:46

So I don’t mean intentionally lying but possibly just “ticking boxes” or not watching very closely?

My LO has neve been that into food. Even when he does well, he never clears his plate. Has always been very selective, even when newly weaning. If he doesn’t want to eat, he’ll happily scoop it all out of his bowl and/or throw it. I suspect he may be doing this at nursery and they see a clean plate and assume he’s eaten it. But I’m not sure how to approach it with them? Based on how he eats when he gets home, I’m worried he’s not eating all day.

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JST88 · 17/08/2023 18:30

Ask them to start a food diary as he has eating issues you’d like to monitor, my child is fussy and has never once eaten a normal dinner or lunch, the nursery we’re telling me he was eating all sorts, but once it was written they didn’t lie and the reality was night & day, also very accurate/believable based on his home eating habits

Uhop · 17/08/2023 19:19

I regularly observe children in nursery including at mealtimes (children's OT) and often see children with severely restricted diets eating things parents wouldn’t imagine as they don’t at home. Lots of nursery’s tend to provide very small portions and then offer seconds though so clearing their plate may not involve eating that much!

Curlybrunette · 17/08/2023 20:05

I'm with you OP and think they are mistaken/distracted lying

My youngest was (and still is at 16 years old) a fussy eater and I just know he didn't eat the things they told me. I even asked one of the the carers that I got on well with to take a picture of him eating anything and they never did. I did realise they have better things to be doing than taking pics of my kid eating but seriously, I KNOW he wasn't eating what they said he was.

I just didn't understand why they felt they needed to tell me he had been eating. He has never eaten 'wet' food and his clothes were cleanish when he came home, it just didn't happen!

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Ladyoftheknight · 17/08/2023 20:12

Children are known to act completely differently in nursery than at home. My eldest was a great eater at home but got distracted at nursery and never finished her plate- I didn't believe the staff for a while!

You can ask them to closely monitor what he's eating if you're concerned, and check with his key person how much of each food he's eaten.

Wenfy · 17/08/2023 20:12

I can imagine them getting it wrong at preschool but in toddler and baby rooms they tend to get 1-2-1 help in mealtimes, so there’s no chance. You also need to remember that food is designed so kids want to eat it - pasta sauces may be sweetened by apple or smoothed to a paste or key workers might praise good eaters thus motivating bad ones to eat too. They never get forced to eat - if kids don’t want to eat at lunchtime their food gets put away. So they know they have to eat then and there or risk going hungry until tea.

Instead of questioning your nursery ask for recipes and what activities they play in the run up to meal times and replicate it. Ask for their meal policies.

wakeuptooearly · 17/08/2023 20:17

fullbloom87 is correct in my experience of working in nurseries. They do their best but pp posters talking about nurseries being magical re food and sleep is really cringy. They don't have magic and staff are not highly trained either as a pp said. They are 16-24 year olds with the lowest GCSE results, who work extremely hard, looking after small children and completing paper work. They also talk a lot of trash over the childrens head, and the children fall asleep on those camp beds because of the exhaustion of being in a busy setting and they eat very small portions of food.

Mysterian · 17/08/2023 22:11

They don't have magic and staff are not highly trained either as a pp said. They are 16-24 year olds with the lowest GCSE results, who work extremely hard...

I'm a late 40s nursery worker with Some good GCSEs and a couple of A levels and a Nursery qualification that took 2 years.

Ostryga · 17/08/2023 23:45

wakeuptooearly · 17/08/2023 20:17

fullbloom87 is correct in my experience of working in nurseries. They do their best but pp posters talking about nurseries being magical re food and sleep is really cringy. They don't have magic and staff are not highly trained either as a pp said. They are 16-24 year olds with the lowest GCSE results, who work extremely hard, looking after small children and completing paper work. They also talk a lot of trash over the childrens head, and the children fall asleep on those camp beds because of the exhaustion of being in a busy setting and they eat very small portions of food.

Sounds like you work in crap nurseries tbh.

My daughter’s was staffed by adults who had spent a long time getting their qualifications including ones in early years.

Dd was there from 6 months to the week before she started school, never had a single issue.

Maybe you aren’t qualified enough to work in the good nurseries?

kelsaycobbles · 17/08/2023 23:53

Is the child underweight ?
If not there is no reason to worry

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 17/08/2023 23:56

Children act completely differently in childcare settings, and with other children around.

When I ran the local playscheme cheese toasties, made by me, were a favourite with all of the kids including my DS2. The same DS who doesn’t eat bread or cheese at home…

Hmmmbetterchangethis · 18/08/2023 00:19

@wakeuptooearly you're quite right! But parents don’t want to hear it, of course!

Many staff will have just a level 2 (very, very basic stuff) as they are cheaper to hire and still count in ratio.
Some no qualifications at all………..

Temps who don’t know the children will come in to cover lunch times while perm staff are out the room on their lunch.

I worked in a nursery that boasted specialist ‘teachers’ for different subjects such as art, music, yoga, literacy etc but they didn’t have any real teaching qualifications, or they were new into the UK so schools couldn’t/wouldn’t take them on.
I was one of them, very newly qualified with my level 3 in childcare, but they said in my interview I had a nice speaking voice so I could be a ‘teacher’.

It was in a very posh area of London and they charged extortionate fees.

Most staff were very young. A few loved their job, but most hadn’t done well academically and were advised to go into childcare.

Lots of petty arguing within the rooms - one staff member was going out with an others brother so inappropriate conversations in front of children……….

Two staff members decided to put on a Halloween mask and deliberately terrify a particularly timid 2 year old girl. They thought it was hilarious. There was an investigation and I reported exactly what I knew and was disgusted, but the staff continued to work there and the parents were never told.

This was a nursery a few local celebs parents sent their children to.

wakeuptooearly · 18/08/2023 07:01

Ostryga I'm glad you've had such a good experience, of course some staff will gain qualifications, I'm just generalising. I couldn't lack qualifications to work in a good nursery because you don't need any, however I am a qualified and very experienced teacher.

Geordiebabe85 · 18/08/2023 07:25

I always thought nursery must be lying too. But shes now able to tell me what she's eaten and it usually tallies with what nursery said!

ImInACage · 18/08/2023 08:55

wakeuptooearly · 17/08/2023 20:17

fullbloom87 is correct in my experience of working in nurseries. They do their best but pp posters talking about nurseries being magical re food and sleep is really cringy. They don't have magic and staff are not highly trained either as a pp said. They are 16-24 year olds with the lowest GCSE results, who work extremely hard, looking after small children and completing paper work. They also talk a lot of trash over the childrens head, and the children fall asleep on those camp beds because of the exhaustion of being in a busy setting and they eat very small portions of food.

What an absolute load of rubbish! I'm in my 40s with a degree in early years and a Montessori teaching degree, in fact, the vast majority of my colleagues hold degrees, all are fully Montessori qualified and our lowest qualified member of staff has a level three in early years. She will be beginning her Montessori training next month. Age wise, we range from 21-64. The quality of care and education we provide is of upmost importance and if anyone "trash talked" over the children they'd be getting their P45. Please don't generalise. Not all nurseries are crap like the ones you've experienced!

PlainJanePerfect · 18/08/2023 09:03

Nursery: he had cucumbers and peppers for afternoon snack

Me: how did you get him to each peppers? He refuses at home

Nursery: none of the children eat the peppers

😒

PlainJanePerfect · 18/08/2023 09:04

On the upside, their repeated exposure to items did get him eating cucumber again after he went off it, so I do appreciate them trying

jannier · 18/08/2023 10:15

Hmmmbetterchangethis · 18/08/2023 00:19

@wakeuptooearly you're quite right! But parents don’t want to hear it, of course!

Many staff will have just a level 2 (very, very basic stuff) as they are cheaper to hire and still count in ratio.
Some no qualifications at all………..

Temps who don’t know the children will come in to cover lunch times while perm staff are out the room on their lunch.

I worked in a nursery that boasted specialist ‘teachers’ for different subjects such as art, music, yoga, literacy etc but they didn’t have any real teaching qualifications, or they were new into the UK so schools couldn’t/wouldn’t take them on.
I was one of them, very newly qualified with my level 3 in childcare, but they said in my interview I had a nice speaking voice so I could be a ‘teacher’.

It was in a very posh area of London and they charged extortionate fees.

Most staff were very young. A few loved their job, but most hadn’t done well academically and were advised to go into childcare.

Lots of petty arguing within the rooms - one staff member was going out with an others brother so inappropriate conversations in front of children……….

Two staff members decided to put on a Halloween mask and deliberately terrify a particularly timid 2 year old girl. They thought it was hilarious. There was an investigation and I reported exactly what I knew and was disgusted, but the staff continued to work there and the parents were never told.

This was a nursery a few local celebs parents sent their children to.

Sounds a bit like the very expensive Tattler top ten nursery my daughter worked at all staff called teachers, special lesson etc. Staff very unhappy forced to do paperwork and set up rooms in their own time typically staying until 9 pm at later paid term time but expected to spend the holidays doing learning journeys that all had to look the same and refused references so very hard to leave.

wakeuptooearly · 18/08/2023 10:46

ImInACage your Montessori nursery obviously hires qualified staff, but that in no way makes what I said "absolute rubbish". Although there will necessarily be an experienced and qualified member of staff at every nursery the vast majority of staff in nurseries are young with few formal qualifications, that in itself isn't a problem if they are good at caring for the children, I was just responding to a pp who spoke of staff being highly qualified and able to create magic. The vast majority of staff are young and if children sleep better at nursery, it's because they are exhausted and if they eat better or a wider range of food it's due to socialisation and copying the children around them.

Emmelina · 18/08/2023 11:16

It could be true. One of my autistic children is quite limited with what she will eat, even now as a teen with social influence. She would eat all kinds of exciting sounding foods in nursery! Jambalaya, hot pot, stews, soups. I’d take the diary home each day and try and recreate it at home, nothing. I even asked for the recipes the nursery cook uses as they insisted she was observed cleaning her bowl of all these nice things! I put it down to compartmentalising in the end due to her autism, she eats these things at nursery, she eats my food at home. We are not to blur the boundaries!

IAmTooOldFor · 18/08/2023 12:31

Our nursery staff definitely make it up quite often. I call them out on it by asking my DD in the same conversation if she really ate x y or z and she’ll say no at which point they greatly backpedal and admit they weren’t actually watching her!!! Most of them have gradually realised that I don’t mind if she doesn’t eat their meals (so long as she tries it) but I get quite strongly annoyed if they lie and I then don’t know I need to feed her another meal at home.

Spirallingdownwards · 18/08/2023 13:07

Often they just copy what the others are doing so if they are eating what is in front of them so do they. Even if fussier at home they knew they would get nothing else at nursery too!

Sushibecomesme · 18/08/2023 13:08

Those little books are a fiction.

Perfect28 · 18/08/2023 14:16

@IAmTooOldFor do you expect nursery staff to insist that your child tries all the foods offered to her?

IAmTooOldFor · 18/08/2023 14:34

@Perfect28 she’s 4 so yes they do ask her to try everything, as we do at home. They don’t insist, they ask. She’s pretty sensible and knows that she’ll never be in trouble for not liking something once she’s tried something - either there or at home.

amyds2104 · 18/08/2023 17:48

This is why I force my kids to have school dinners. They eat food there that they wouldn’t eat at home such as curries and casseroles etc.

At nursery they would document what they had eaten and whether it was all eaten, none at all or half etc which I liked. They would both eat things different to what they eat at home. My daughter sometimes asks for plain rice on its own for dinner eye rolls but then will ask for the fajita and curry option for the school dinners and says she eats them.

They always ask for packed lunches but I don’t let them for this reason. I know they won’t starve.