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Original poster

Can a baby move into their own room at 4 months of age?

60 replies

Bridisco · 30/07/2023 23:09

Hello all,

I feel as a new parent that the truth of parenting is rarely reflected.

Is every single parent in the UK sitting quietly in a dark room with their baby just waiting for sids to strike? I don’t think so.

There are over 650,000 births every year in the UK and 200 babies sadly die. The per cent chance of risk is close to nothing.

However, I do invite any new parents to ponder on my question. Can a baby move into their own room at 4 months of age? Does the baby monitor counter much of the worry out there as you can see baby is sleeping well and breathing?

My baby sleeps for stretches of 4 hours and bottle, 3 hours and bottle, 3 hours and bottle, then 2 hours and then gets up etc.

Please don’t quote googled statistics and feel free to give your own perspective.

Thank you.

OP posts:

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Zinfandelfoot · 30/07/2023 23:14

The NHS guidance is to have babies in your room until they are 6 months. Personally I kept my children in my room until around then, was easier to be able to hear them if they cried and also they didn’t start sleeping the full night until about then anyways

underneaththeash · 30/07/2023 23:16

Ours were removed way before that, we had monitors.
Everyone slept much better.

HopityHope · 30/07/2023 23:16

Not for me sorry.
It’s not the monitoring them, it’s the fact that them hearing you breathe helps to remind them to do so.
A small chance I can make a difference is worth it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Families General parenting

HowcanIhelp123 · 30/07/2023 23:16

The advice is there for a reason, and many follow it. Several keep babies in their room for longer than the recommended 6 months as they want to cosleep, or don't have enough rooms and need baby to sleep through before they put baby in a room with older kids that would get disturbed by night wakings.

Likewise some parents don't have a room big enough for a cot and need to move baby into it's own room earlier when it outgrows the moses basket/small cot. Or parents and baby disturb eachother so they choose to move rooms early to try get better sleep.

Sometimes its choice, sometimes circumstances choose for them.

Isthisexpected · 30/07/2023 23:17

I'm not sure what you mean about the dark room all evening. My kids all stayed in the living room in a moses basket or carrycot or bouncy chair until I wanted to go up to bed.

But then I didn't feel the need to move them into their own rooms until closer to two because it was less hassle for night feeds as a breastfeeding mum.

Problemcat · 30/07/2023 23:18

Sure if you want the risk of your child being one of the SIDS deaths then go for it. For the sake of 2 months…..

NerrSnerr · 30/07/2023 23:18

I personally moved mine at 6 months, most people I know moved theirs earlier.

We didn't sit quietly in a dark room, we just kept the baby downstairs with us and they slept on us until we went to bed. After 6 months we started initiating a bedtime. That was what we found easier.

For the record though I had post natal OCD and had awful compulsive thoughts about SIDS and was googling stats daily, trying to figure out the riskiest day etc and then wasn't well. My mental health began to improve once they were in their room and it only truly got better once we got rid of monitors (much later than most).

You need to look at the stats/ advice and weigh that up with your own circumstances.

Problemcat · 30/07/2023 23:19

And echo it’s nothing to do with monitoring. It’s because hearing adults breathe subconsciously helps children to, look up the research

unclestripe · 30/07/2023 23:22

My 4 month old has been alone upstairs for all naps since 1 month old, it's the only way she gets a decent sleep with a noisy 3 year old sibling, we use a monitor and I check on her regularly.
If I could I'd move her into her own room, we'd all sleep better as we all disturb each other in the night but she'll be sharing a room with eldest DD so she's in with us for as long as possible before then.
I think you do what works for you as a family, guidelines are simply that, a guide.

Devilsmommy · 30/07/2023 23:23

Mine was 5 months and he's doing great. Camera monitor so can see breathing and his position. Apparently some countries say it's ok from 4 months on, I guess it's just individual choice

Gowlett · 30/07/2023 23:23

Do whatever you think is right for your baby.

I co-slept DS as he likes being close to me.

FDxx · 30/07/2023 23:24

For me it wasn’t the own room thing when going to bed that was the issue, it was when they outgrew the newborn stage and couldn’t settle properly in the living room between 8-11pm so the full sleep ended up all over the place. I can’t remember exactly when we started it but we would put him to ‘bed’ in his next to me at 8 and I’d go for a bath in the next room etc with the door open, a monitor and a breathing monitor on. For a while we tried watching tv in bed but it wasn’t really fair on him to have the bright lights on all the time. I kept him in our room until just after 6 months though as I didn’t like the thought of actually going to sleep and not being able to hear him so I did follow that bit of guidance. My friend put her baby into her own room from 4 months so it’s just up to people to make their own calculated risks I think based on loads of other aspects of their life.

Starlightstarbright2 · 30/07/2023 23:28

Mine co slept - we moved to a refuge so continued.. he was about 18 months when he moved to his own room

Bumblebee112 · 30/07/2023 23:31

Personally, it isn’t worth the risk to me. I ended up not moving DS until he was 1.

As others have pointed out - it’s to do with them regulating their breathing about yours so monitors are pretty irrelevant.

As far as I’m concerned, the safe sleep guidelines are there for a reason. Surely an extra couple of months isn’t hard to manage?!

Hugasauras · 30/07/2023 23:32

Mine both slept downstairs as newborns till we went up, and then when they started falling asleep for the night early I would put them to bed in our room and then just watch TV in there or read or listen to podcasts. I'd pop out to make a tea or something or stick a wash on or chat to DH for a few mins, but I spent the bulk of the evening in the bedroom with them asleep, yes. It's such a short time in the grand scheme of things really. I was tired anyway so was asleep by 10ish, so by the time they had gone to sleep at 8 or whatever, there wasn't that much evening left.

DD2 is 13mo and has slept through in her own room since 7mo, so I've had plenty of evening back to make up for it!

mariiiajane · 30/07/2023 23:32

Problemcat · 30/07/2023 23:18

Sure if you want the risk of your child being one of the SIDS deaths then go for it. For the sake of 2 months…..

Did that make you feel good about yourself?

Problemcat · 30/07/2023 23:34

Did that make you feel good about yourself?

in what way?

pinguins · 30/07/2023 23:35

What a verbose OP with no outline of the OP's personal situation at all.
Assuming this is a human poster, with an actual baby, I don't think the odd night in their own room is problematic but a permanent move? No. Why would you want to be away from your own baby like that?

pitterypattery00 · 30/07/2023 23:35

Each parent has to make their own decisions as to what an acceptable level of risk is for them. But I wanted to echo previous comments that the sharing room is not just to do with monitoring. It's thought that noise in the room (e.g. parents breathing and moving around) helps prevent the baby going in to a very deep sleep and this lowers the risk of SIDS. Room sharing can also facilitate breastfeeding and that also lowers SIDS risk.

quietnightmare · 30/07/2023 23:35

It's a no from me especially if any of the following

Breathing problems at birth
Pretty much any problems with baby at birth
bottle feeding
Parent is a heavy sleeper
I'm sure there's many more but to tired to think

Toddler101 · 30/07/2023 23:36

Isthisexpected · 30/07/2023 23:17

I'm not sure what you mean about the dark room all evening. My kids all stayed in the living room in a moses basket or carrycot or bouncy chair until I wanted to go up to bed.

But then I didn't feel the need to move them into their own rooms until closer to two because it was less hassle for night feeds as a breastfeeding mum.

Absolutely agree with this. My new 3m old sleeps in the carrycot in front of me and the TV until I go up to bed and take baby with me.

Plus they're only little once, I love waking up to my baby and seeing their face smiling back at me 😍 and when my eldest used to wake us up tickling our toes through the bars on the cot which was at the foot of our bed with a whispered 'good morning mummy toes!' 😂 I'll miss it when they're older

WeWereInParis · 30/07/2023 23:38

What's your reason for wanting to move them? I remember at my antenatal class the midwife said that it was best to follow as much of the guidance as possible. But if, for example, the baby outgrew their Moses basket and the cot wouldn't fit in the parents' bedroom, then move them. But make sure you follow everything else (on their back, appropriately dressed, don't smoke etc etc).

I kept them in with me because it was easier with breastfeeding to just have them there rather than needing to leave the room to do night feeds.

PurBal · 30/07/2023 23:42

Moved DC1 into his room at 4 weeks. Monitor in the evenings and I shared with him overnight until 4 months (breastfeeding). I shared longer than I really should have imo as we both kept waking the other up. DC2 is 6w and we’re both ready for separate rooms: he won’t actually go to sleep with me in the room unless he’s on me but if he’s alone he drifts off. We end up cosleeping by the end of the night because he just doesn’t want to sleep with me in the room but not cuddling. Anyway… DC will share eventually but not fair on DC1 until DC2 is more consistent through the night.

AnnaNims · 30/07/2023 23:43

Ww kept ours in our room until 6 months.

I don’t think badly of people that feel relaxed enough to have babies in another room, but I was properly (irrationally) terrified of cot death. Plus I breastfed and it was easy to have the baby close. This was exacerbated by a baby in my extended family dying from SIDS.

Rainiestsummer · 30/07/2023 23:46

Well I've "pondered your question".
Does it occur to you that there might be a direct correlation between the introduction of safe sleep guidelines and the decrease in number of babies who succumb to SIDS?

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