Struggling to leave the house with a newborn - maternity leave

[rosiebutterfly]

Hi all my baby turned 4 weeks old today I’m on maternity leave and my husband works full time so I’m looking after her most of the time.
is not really getting time to leave the house normal? I’ve barely left the house the last four weeks because I honestly do not get time, she is constantly crying and a bit of a greedy baby and needs feeding around every 90 minutes, I find myself just feeding her changing her soothing her on repeat all day- the reason for my post is because of this, I am not doing anything and feel guilty for it, I am not really moving or being active at all or even getting dressed some days, most days to be honest.
I try to get her outside a few times a week with our dog when my husband walks the dog but other than that I just don’t move to the point where my legs ache from being sedentary.
is anyone going through the same?
I am also so tired as again she wakes every 2 hours and takes so long to settle even after a feed so perhaps it’s exhaustion aswell.
I did have a bad birth and lost a lot of blood and in turn I had to have blood transfusions and iron transfusions so maybe it is my blood levels and recovery too, just feeling like a bit of a slob and wanted to hear from others in a similar situation so I know I’m not going insane :-(

Honestly this is completely normal, when I had my baby I was pretty much bed bound for 5 weeks. All we did was nap and feed. I'm a really active person and it was the longest I hadn't seen my horses for or moved properly!

Just go easy on yourself, when you feel up to it start by going out for a coffee or a little walk but don't do too much too soon or put too much pressure on yourself. Just soak up those sleepy newborn cuddles because it goes so quick! My baby is a strapping 8 month old now 🥺

I just fed when I was out, with dd1 I found it pretty easy to go out and about, harder when I had 2 kids but you just have to be a bit more organised than pre children. I did breastfeed which whilst takes longer to get the hang of, doesn't have the prep and clean up required of bottles

This is normal BUT I found when I went out it would distract DD and she would go longer between feeds. (Fed at least hourly at home, could go 2 hours out and about).

I would aim to chuck on some clothes in the morning and do your best to get out for a walk, maybe at weekends to start. Fresh air and light is meant to be good for sleep rhythms and for mental health. It's so tricky when you are exhausted though, so don't beat yourself up on days it is too much.

Feeding every 90 mins is normal, she's not a greedy baby she's a baby! And yes, this does all sound quite normal to be honest. I would say you have to take it easy and rest to recover from birth, but if you're desperate to get out you need to take the plunge. Don't wait for the perfect moment of house being tidy, baby fed and dry and ready for a nap. Instead get the nappy bag and pram ready, feed, wind and go! It is such a short phase OP, you'll soon be out of it.

Please be kind to yourself and don’t underestimate the effect the blood loss you suffered has affected you, and your energy levels. I had a huge PPH after DC1 and only really realised how much that had wiped me out when I didn’t have the same with DC2. I was a complete zombie first time around, not nearly so much second time without the blood loss.. So do factor that in, my advice would take your iron tablets (and lactulose!) and rest as much as you can, it can really wipe you out. I would say get out if you feel up to it but don’t put any pressure on yourself, perhaps even a 10 minute walk round the block by yourself when your DH has the baby would help you feel like you’d had a bit of a stretch.

Yes it’s normal. Please don’t feel bad. We don’t get honest, realistic portrayals/ representations of the newborn phase., especially of breastfed newborns, so it’s not your fault you were blind sided.

Completely normal and you will lol back and laugh.

We've all been there.

It’s still early days. I have a 6wo and the only reason I leave the house is because I also have a 2yo toddler.

Very, very normal. What time does your Dh leave for work? If it’s not ridiculously early and you’re already awake can he watch the baby for 15mins/half an hour in a morning to allow you to shower and get dressed? Then at least if you feel you have the energy to go out you’re already halfway there. Don’t put any pressure on yourself, you’re recovering from birth and blood loss and dealing with a newborn and sleep deprivation. It’s a lot!

Totally normal. Please be kind to yourself.

I find it easier to leave the house if I have the change bag packed the night before and anything else ready such as the buggy set up in the hall if walking, or things already in the car if driving. Also a plan for what im having for breakfast, sometimes I make overnight oats in advance or I plan to have a fried egg on toast with a bit of grated cheese on top as it’s super quick.

I also try to have a shower as soon as I wake, otherwise it doesn’t happen. Is showering before your partner leaves/starts work an option? That helps too.

Once you get out once or twice you’ll get into the swing of it and it gets easier. Agree with pp’s who say baby feeds less outside, if I chuck my baby in the buggy and go for a quick 20 min walk round the block he will sleep through even if he is hungry and I just do his feed when I’m back. The walk helps me feel normal and get some fresh air.

Honestly what you describe is so normal for 4 weeks!!

Thank you so so much everyone, I’m not used to this part of life yet and my first baby so I have no idea what to judge it on only the Instagram life, I’ve taken some good advice will try to be a bit more proactive in the mornings and try to get out even if it is for 10 minutes xx

Normal, it will get easier as the baby gets bigger and gets in something of a routine. Go easy on yourself and lean into the slobbing around for now - this is what box sets were invented for! Get binging.

Completely normal. But you will feel a bit better if you do manage to get out, even if it only to pick some nice snacks up, or post a letter. Start small and build it up as you feel better.

It's totally fine if you need to relax to recover. Getting out and about will get easier, especiallyif baby takes to a carrier or likes the pram (mine didn't till they had decent head control)

Going out at this stage is for your benefit, so only do it if it IS to your benefit. Don't worry if you don't feel up to ityet. I started making a point of getting outside a bit every day when DD was 6 weeks, but just for my own sanity!

I didn't manage to leave the house until my parents came over to visit us and helped me. I would advice to go with the flow and not to put too much pressure and expectations on yourself. As long as your baby is fed and nappy changed a d you get food, all is good,

All completely normal ☺️ Agree with everything others have said, my second also fed frequently at home in the early days but when out would go longer and it does do a world of good to get outside sometimes, even if it’s just round the block so you’re close to home.
But also if you don’t have to go anywhere then don’t feel guilty for staying home, feeding, cuddling & bonding - it’s such early days and there will be plenty of opportunity to get out and about when you have a bit more of a routine. Cliche I know but it does go so quickly, you’ll never regret those early days just spent at home together when you look back in the future x

Totally normal

mine would only ever settle either on my boob or lying down in a moving pram so taking him out for walks was good for me, both mentally and physically, and also helped get him into a napping routine that wasn’t permanently attaching himself to me

Everyone is different, I love getting out and about for fresh air and would find it suffocating stuck indoors all day at 4 weeks pp. I find babies tend to be better settled out in the pram too. If you want to get out a bit, just try some short walks 🙂

This is so normal, almost like a 4th trimester all you need to be doing is feeding and cuddling your baby. Getting out of the house is more for the mums but if you're happy in your routine stick with it. I did this with my first and it was fab and gave us both time to recover and bond after labour. There will be plenty of time for getting out and baby classes etc when you have more of a routine with baby but for now just enjoy this cosy time, wish I could go back and do it again mine is forever on the go!

I planned the night before, so got everything ready, so all I had to do was get up feed, change baby, pop in pram and off we went. Soon found she slept better for going outside all morning.

Normal and just to add, everyone's experience of postpartum is different. Some people have really straight forward births and don't lose much blood or have tears or C section wounds or whatever. And that's great for them, and they can tell you how you've just got to get on with it.
But honestly after my third degree tear with stitches and blood loss leading to anaemia, combined with a mega heat wave the summer my son was born, I just stayed upstairs for the first month (my husband brought me food and drink!). It hurt so much to walk, and the pain from my stitches got much worse before it got better.
Please don't put pressure on yourself. You've been through, and continue to go through, an enormously life changing experience. You'll get there 💐

My little ones 4 weeks tomorrow and I try to get out every day, my baby's quite "high needs" (aka screams a lot lol) and I find she's so much better when out. Like yours, when at home she's constantly rooting, even though I know she's not even hungry, but when out will go longer without feeds, mainly because she's distracted I think. And cries a lot less.

I get her bag ready the night before, lay our clothes etc out, which makes it easier in the morning. I know how you feel though, it is tough. I've found going to groups really helpful, even though she's so young it's good for me. I've found the other mums so supportive and honest about how tough early motherhood is, certainly helps with not feeling like you're alone

And just to add, I also find getting out helps with the tiredness. Sitting at home always makes me feel even more tired, whereas a bit of fresh air takes your mind of it a bit more. It's a hard time so go easy on yourself

I had blood loss and transfusion and it was only when I had my second without needing a transfusion that I realised how much that took out of me on top of a new baby. Be kind to yourself, as my mum said to me in the old days you would have stayed in bed for a few weeks after all that had happened . Start small trying to get out for some fresh air but taking it slow is absolutely fine.

The baby bag was leays packed I just added bottles and formula, f it needs to be pointed out yes it would be different for BF, and we went out every day

I am not saying this to sound obvious it was what I had to think to achieve it but I just knew I was going out each day so did it might have been a few hours or a walk to the jobs if I thought about it I wouldn't have done it I needed the fresh air and the feeling of 'normalcy'