Struggling to leave the house with a newborn - maternity leave

[rosiebutterfly]

Hi all my baby turned 4 weeks old today I’m on maternity leave and my husband works full time so I’m looking after her most of the time.
is not really getting time to leave the house normal? I’ve barely left the house the last four weeks because I honestly do not get time, she is constantly crying and a bit of a greedy baby and needs feeding around every 90 minutes, I find myself just feeding her changing her soothing her on repeat all day- the reason for my post is because of this, I am not doing anything and feel guilty for it, I am not really moving or being active at all or even getting dressed some days, most days to be honest.
I try to get her outside a few times a week with our dog when my husband walks the dog but other than that I just don’t move to the point where my legs ache from being sedentary.
is anyone going through the same?
I am also so tired as again she wakes every 2 hours and takes so long to settle even after a feed so perhaps it’s exhaustion aswell.
I did have a bad birth and lost a lot of blood and in turn I had to have blood transfusions and iron transfusions so maybe it is my blood levels and recovery too, just feeling like a bit of a slob and wanted to hear from others in a similar situation so I know I’m not going insane :-(

Feeding every 90 minutes is normal at this stage-she's not greedy! It will settle down. You need to just focus on the two of you-I'd you can get out for a little walk it'll do you both good. But if you can't just yet, don't worry, you soon will. This is honestly just a tiny bit of time in your life. Do your absolute best to just go with it. I promise it gets easier!

Yes I'm exactly the same. My eldest was born on a Saturday night. By Tuesday I was sick to the teeth of being indoors alone. Obviously when you have more children you have to be out because of nursery / school runs etc

My perenium was (and still is) stitched up and I have a prolapse. My baby is nearly 4 weeks old but I've only just been able to walk 10 mins without hurting so much that I cry and have to lie down. I'm a young mum too and used to being very active. Not all of us can manage short walks, especially when it has been raining heavily most days 🙁

I’m blown away with all the replies, I made sure we got out today had a walk in the woods in her carrier, she snored the whole time lol 😂 yes I had quite a traumatic birth 5 day induction failed epidural 14 hours on a hormone drip, episiotomy, 3c degree tear, loads of stitches, severe PPH lost 2.5 litres of blood, 3 blood transfusions and an iron transfusion- so maybe i do need to be a bit kinder to myself. I am making sure now I get out every day - thank you to everyone you’re all amazing mummas! X

Omg op you are a hero! You’re doing amazingly, I barely left the house for the first few weeks as well - I was on in my recovery but DD had a week’s stay in nicu and was 6 weeks early so DH and I were completely blindsided.

Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to recover - and most importantly be VERY wary if influencer mums on insta and TikTok. I saw a TikTok the other day of a mum with a 4 week old cleaning the house, doing a workout AND putting on a full face of makeup on. That’s great for her but I thought it would have made me feel like shit if I were watching as a new mum!

It’s normal, but only if you are a first time mum and have the luxury of shutting yourself at home. For number 2,3,4 etc both they and you need to fit around the schedule of the other kids, none of this can’t go out rhetoric. But for the first, sure, no problems.

Make sure your iron levels are ok. Prioritise eating three proper meals a day, quick easy things like porridge for breakfast and healthy ready meals for lunch and tea, snack on fruit, nuts and dried fruit - this will give you more energy.

Try to get washed and dressed before partner leaves for work or put baby in a bouncer in the bathroom for a few minutes, just throw on leggings and a top that doesn’t need ironing. Getting washed and dressed really lifts your mood and makes the thought of getting out the house at some point in the day much easier.

Going for short walks is great if you can. If you don’t feel able try to sit in the garden doing some of the feeds or if you can’t sit out make sure you are letting fresh air and daylight into the living room/bedroom, it’s important for your sleep and babies sleep that you get daylight.

She's your first and only four weeks old so, essentially, it's all about survival at this stage! She's not a puppy so doesn't need to be socialised at this stage. She just needs feeds when she wants, a clean nappy and lots of cuddles and love. Whether that's on the sofa, in bed, in a local coffee shop or at some baby class which you've gone to as your desperate for some company, it really doesn't matter. When my first was a similar age, it took me five days to post a letter. The post box was literally opposite my house and, each day when I got up, I promised myself I would post it that day but then there'd be an exploding poo or it would rain or DC1 would have fallen asleep on me or I was just too exhausted.
Somehow, with DC2, we were all up & dressed and dropping DC1 off at nursery at 8.50 each morning having walked the mile to get there. Actually, I say "somehow" but DC1 was always up at 5.40 6.00 so we had plenty of time to get ready. Lazy snuggles and feeds in bed were something DC2 never experienced.

Sounds pretty normal with your first baby. It's such a shock and such a massive change that it feels like you can't do anything.

I remember it taking me absolutely ages to try and get dressed, get baby dressed, change nappy, feed, then they're sick, then they poo all over themselves and repeat. I did leave the house but I recall it taking about an hour to prepare.

It gets easier and you somehow gain some energy to get out and about again. Don't feel guilty for not going out. The baby doesn't care.

Oh wow you’ve been through the wars!! Definitely take it slow and get as much rest as is possible with a newborn. Great you managed to get out tho. It will get easier

Absolutely normal, you are doing great!
Don't worry about the baby, the baby will be happy as long as he or she is with you.
However, if you used to be active before the baby, it will help you mentally if you start getting out and about once you feel like it.

A.couple of suggestions that help me get out of the house with a baby and toddler:

• keep your diaper bag ready so that you can just grab it and go. Re-fill it with spare clothes, diapers, snacks/water for yourself etc after you get back home
• put on some laid back but nice looking clothes in the morning that you can get out of the house with - for me that's a nursing dress or a top and comfy pants/shorts
• similarly, baby can wear onesies when out, no need to put them in a special outfit
• you can feed baby on the go, and change them in the pram bassinet
• sling can help with an unsettled baby

I’ve haven’t read the replies. Just to say IG is not real life. It’s a snap shot of how perfect someone wants their life to look.

I lost a lot of blood too during birth and could barely walk to the end of my road without being completely exhausted/out of breath those first few weeks. I’d had this idea of lots of lovely trips to coffee shops but the reality of those first two months was that I barely made it downstairs before midday! The walks and coffee shop visits came with time. You’re doing fine!! xx

If you walked more it'd help settle baby and you and take the dog probably.
A pram is best for this. Have you got a proper pram? The fresh air and movement will make you both feel so much better. Just throw on any old clothes and get out.
When I was on mat leave I was walking dog and baby 3 times a day.

In fact I didn't even dress baby for months, just wrapped up in nappy and blankets

Just put her in pram straight after a feed and take a short walk. Have a changing bag ready to go. You may find she sleeps longer if she gets out in the fresh air. Gradually you can build up time you are out. Do you have a garden or outdoor space nearby?

I had my first 2dc whilst living in Greece 30 years ago. At the time a greek woman wouldn't have dreamt of leaving the house for at least 40 days (6 weeks). In fact my MiL made me go to the Greek orthodox church to be 'cleansed' ( not really sure why but it was part of the culture) the first time I took dd1 out!

Totally normal. You're going everything right. You're healing from a traumatic process. Be kind to yourself. I'm only just 6 weeks after my second and am only just starting to venture outside my sofa/ bedroom bubble.

Sounds like you’re doing amazingly! Please please take it easy, make sure you recover and don’t be too hard on yourself. (Speaking from bitter bitter experience here of doing too much and making recovery much longer). If getting out of the house makes you feel better, then do it - even for 5 mins. But if it doesn’t, then don’t compare and don’t worry about it.

Baby will feed when they need to feed - just follow their cues and go with it! X

I had the ache thing from being sedentary after both babies too for weeks. It feels quite gross but it'll go away in time, once you get more into a rhythm. Having daily showers more easily will come back too before long. It all takes time to settle. Don't worry - it's all so normal.

It took about 6 weeks for me to be able to leave the house!
Don't put yourself under pressure

Blimey, I hadn't even read this post and I thought it all sounded normal.

My friend gave me the advice when I had my first that every day I should aim for a shower and to get out the house…it was a good shout! All those hormones giving you night sweats and baby sick creeping down your bra 🙈 the shower made me feel amazing! I breastfed on demand, she loved being held, never wanted to go down, even in her pram. So I had a sling carrier for her and even if I just walked round the block for some fresh air, that was great! she always slept well in there and I had my hands to do some chores if I got home and she was still asleep. I remember the first time I got us both ready and walked to Tesco with her in the pram. I felt like superwoman! Read up on the Fourth Trimester, it’s very normal for babies to just want to be with mumma and be held all the time seeing as they were squished in your tummy for so long.

Totally normal for first 4 weeks. The baby is in the fourth trimester. Rest your body while you are a little bit trapped. What you'll find is you'll get in a rhythm and you'll find gsos in the day when the baby is fed and dressed and you can pop them in the pram for their nsp and you can head out for a walk round the local area. These little gaps will get longer as they get older and you get out more. Good luck!

*should have said little gaps