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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving babies for weekends away

93 replies

MumApril1990 · 27/07/2023 12:19

Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd to leave a baby under 12 months with family members, to go on holiday without them? I know loads of people leaving babies as young as 3 months with grandparents to go to weddings and hen dos 2 or 3 nights away. It makes me not want to talk to these friends a I can’t imagine just abandoning my little baby with relatives to go off to party.

OP posts:

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Peony654 · 27/07/2023 15:41

You’re horribly judgmental. It’s absolutely none of your business. The baby is with family-not on the street. Parents are allowed a life outside their kids, ans god forbid they want to spend time with each other as a couple.

Simonjt · 27/07/2023 15:53

We’re going away this weekend and Grandma is babysitting our eight year old and 18 month old, Grandma has been babysitting on and off since our daughter was six months old. We’re going to the cinema and having two nights out in a row, can’t wait!

DinnaeFashYersel · 27/07/2023 15:56

You are a total GF to use the word 'abandon'.

If you were my friend I would be most glad for you to decline to talk to me again.

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decaffonlypls · 27/07/2023 16:16

It really depends how close you are to the family member and how much you need/want to go away. Everyone circumstances are different no need to judge. It's not superior to not want to have a break

Barneysma2 · 27/07/2023 17:38

Well all I will say is be careful who you stop talking to as a result of your judgement because when the day comes where you do feel ready to spend some time away from your child you might just find you don't have any friends left to spend the time with. Most mums and dads are doing their best..support your friends op, don't come online and tell the world how shit they are compared to you.

Kimfluencer · 27/07/2023 17:41

I left DC1 with my Mum at 5 months old and went on a 5 days ‘girls trip’ to NYC. It was bliss! I slept in every morning and had an absolute ball with my friends. I felt extremely lucky to be able to have that break from my gorgeous but AAU ally non-sleeping baby.

I didn’t want to leave DC2 so soon - I just felt different - but when they were 2 & 5, my Mum had them for a week while me and DH had a proper adults beach holiday in the Caribbean. No regrets!

SouthLondonMum22 · 27/07/2023 17:49

Left my son overnight for the first time at 6 weeks, for a weekend he was 6 months.

He wasn't abandoned, how ridiculous. He's an incredibly lucky boy who has multiple family members who dote on him and love spending time with him.

Frankly, I wouldn't want to have a 'friend' like you anyway.

continentallentil · 27/07/2023 17:53

You appear to be judgemental and jealous as well as over attached.

Having your baby stay with people they know isn’t abandoning them. It’s making them part of a wider family where they are loved and looked after by lots of people. This makes children confident and secure.

It’s good for couples to spend time together. Babies benefit from their parents having a strong relationship.

Not wanting to talk to your ‘friends’ (I’m not sure they’d consider you a friend if they knew what you were thinking) because they have different parenting styles to you is really strange.

PurpleBugz · 27/07/2023 19:25

Not something I've personally done no.

But do you feel this way of the father who go on for example stag weekends when they have a small baby? Or working away?

Any mother who went away from a weekend and left her child is ok in my book, so long as she ensured the child would be adequately cared for while she was gone. Our job is to protect our kids most certainly but we are not just baby makers and care givers

DurhamDurham · 27/07/2023 19:35

We had our granddaughter overnight since she was a few months old, occasional weekends too. She's five now and we have the loveliest bond with her, she loves coming for a sleepover and treats our house like her own.

I think your use of the word abandonment is a tad unnecessary

NerrSnerr · 27/07/2023 19:44

MumApril1990 · 27/07/2023 12:30

Perhaps I am overly attached!! And to be fair we don’t have any Grandparent help so I can’t imagine my baby being comfortable with anyone else overnight.

We didn't leave ours because we didn't (and still don't) have anyone to leave our children with. The difference is, those involved grandparents often spent a lot of time with their grandchildren so everyone is a lot more comfortable with the situation.

Oliesjola · 27/07/2023 19:49

I have had my granddaughter overnight most Friday since she was a few weeks old . She really is absolutely fine and enjoys staying here and she really is a Mummy’s girl …absolutely no problem with bonding issues !

cyncope · 27/07/2023 19:56

MumApril1990 · 27/07/2023 12:30

Perhaps I am overly attached!! And to be fair we don’t have any Grandparent help so I can’t imagine my baby being comfortable with anyone else overnight.

I feel like my children have been really lucky to be so attached to involved grandparents that they're like extra parents to them.

supersonicginandtonic · 27/07/2023 22:24

@WhatNoRaisins my mum would not have minded at all. She understands that babies can sometimes be unsettled and she likes to let her children and their partners have a break.

khaa2091 · 27/07/2023 22:30

I returned to work when my daughter was 8 months old. I do shifts that involve leaving the house at 0645, returning at 7pm the following day. What would you suggest I should have done with my baby?

asecretslob · 27/07/2023 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Emmamoo89 · 27/07/2023 22:32

I didn't. I didn't want to be apart from my son x

Fleur405 · 27/07/2023 22:40

I left my daughter with her aunt for a night when she was 10 months to go to a wedding. My SIL and her husband have two older kids so are perfectly able to look after her. They love her. Her big cousins adore her. They loved having her. She had a great time.

It’s not as if we stuck her in an orphanage while we went on holiday for two weeks.

I’d be quite happy for you to stop speaking to me given how judgemental you are.

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